I have a conundrum

yeah, you know, you start thinking, putting things in place, prioritizing.

While talking this over with my husband, I have a feeling of grief, and am mourning. I'm feeling tearful writing this.

This is a really good company, with really magnificant people working there.

Too bad those that the opportunity to keep me as a terrific employee was passed up by a simple brushing me off.

My heart just hasn't been in it this week, and I'm too old to be stressed and unhappy, and dreading going in to work, which is what this is leading to.

I was really thinking I could/would hang on until interviews starting coming in. I only just started applying last Friday, so I don't expect any calls, if at all, expressing interest in meeting with me for another week or 2.

Ha.
Is that what head exploding is?

I'm more sad than anything.
I don't want to be sad.

I don't do sad well.

you're a no bullshit kinda gal.

and once you find it, you can't unsmell it...

give 'em hell.

heh....while looking on yahoo there was a story with a link to a website called over fifty and out of work.

I've been trying to take a look at it with limited success.....getting a message about capacity problems.

I think every over 50 person not employed at this time is trying to look.

Here's the yahoo link to the article that contained the link.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/unemployed-older-facing-jobless-future-182514522.html

Related to that, I found this really great list called "fifty for fifty"

I'm off to bed now....

"Fifty for Fifty" – 50 reasons to hire the 50 (plus) candidate
By Eli Amdur
Special to North Jersey Media Group

I've had enough. As a sixty-something, if I hear one more 50-something
complaining about age discrimination instead of doing something about it, I'm
going to scream. We all know it exists, but why are you letting yourself get
pushed around? Why are you not fighting back? You are eminently employable, but
it seems you're surrendering because you've forgotten what your value is. So
here are 50 reasons companies should hire you. Start reminding them.

1. I'm a boomer. We have that famous work ethic.
2. Boomers are the best team players in the workforce; we work well with others.
That's not opinion; it's fact.
3. We're also punctual.
4. I can be flexible when it comes to work schedules.
5. At my age, I have an extensive network. I bring that with me.
6. You want stability and continuity in your workforce? How `bout this: hire me
and I'm likely to stay with you until I retire. That could be ten years or more.
Try getting that from the Gen Y-ers you're interviewing.
7. You want responsibility? I know how to hold down a job - done it for years. I
pay taxes, feed a family, read newspapers, vote regularly, and have put a kid or
two through college.
8. While we're talking about being a parent, let me remind you: I have great
mediation skills.
9. And negotiation skills.
10. And organizational skills.
11. And budgeting and planning skills.
12. Time management, too.
13. Not to mention patience!
14. Studies prove that honesty is a common value in boomers. That includes me.
15. I can communicate. I went to school when they taught us how to write a
complete sentence, for God sake. You know...with nouns and verbs and capital
letters and all that stuff. Remember those things? They're rare today, aren't
they?
16. And I don't cheat when I communicate - thx...c u l8tr.
17. Good communication means good listening skills. Boomers are known for that,
too.
18. I've survived three recessions, so I can help you make tough decisions.
19. "Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment (Will Rogers)." I've already been there and done that, or would you
rather hire someone who will do that on your dime?
20. Energy? Yeah, I still have lots of that.
21. My eyesight may be going, but I have some pretty clear long-range vision.
22. I may miss a day or two of work from time to time but not
because...like...dude... I'm so NOT in the mood.
23. All in all, older workers have lower absenteeism than younger workers.
24. We have fewer injuries, too.
25. I've developed expertise that takes this long to develop. There are no
shortcuts.
26. I've had my resume redone. Please read all of it. It's really impressive.
27. My work experience is varied, which means I bring perspective and dimension.
28. And resourcefulness.
29. Because of all my experience, I can hit the ground running. My learning
curve will be short.
30. One out of every three workers in the civilian labor force is 50 or older.
You don't have much choice anymore.
31. In five years, nearly 40 percent of your candidates will be over 50. You'll
have even less choice, so why not get with the program starting right now?
32. And while we're on that subject, why don't you think about what it will be
like when you get to 50? One day, you will. No getting around it.
33. I won't be on my Blackberry during meetings.
34. No, I don't multitask. I pay attention instead. I can multitask as well as
anyone, but I won't.
35. However, I am multi-talented. After all these years, there are a lot of
different things I've learned to do.
36. I won't be on Facebook on your computer at work. I'm here to work.
37. If I tell you that even though I've had higher-level positions in my career
but my career goals have changed and that I really do want this job you think
I'm "overqualified" for...I'm telling you the truth.
38. I'm not after your job.
39. I'm a natural mentor for your younger workers.
40. It's not important or cool or necessary for me to come to work in a T-shirt.
I could care less.
41. My age group has proven to be dedicated. Dedicated workers are more
productive and efficient, and that leads to cost savings for you.
42. And talking about cost savings, many of us 50-somethings have health
benefits from our spouses. I won't need it from you.
43. I'm a lifelong learner and I'll be happy to take all the professional
development courses you want me to.
44. Older workers are loyal. We appreciate our jobs and will prove it by the way
we work.
45. Older workers are far less political. Our agenda is taking pride in our
work.
46. I am detail-oriented, as many of us boomers are. It's how we were brought
up.
47. I will set a good example for all your employees, young and old(er).
48. I know what customer service is. I was at it when it was more than just
800-numbers and www.dontbotherme. com. (Read that one slowly.)
49. I can think on my feet. How do you think I got to be this age anyway?
50. Grey hair is actually beautiful.

Got it?

It's great the new opportunity came when it did. If you haven't yrt drafted your resignation letter, please remember to close on a positive note. Just don't burn any bridges on paper. I'm sure you already know this, and the people who let you down will know the real reason you are leaving. Too many of the thirty-something's think older people (even those in their 40's) are dinosaurs and see themselves as folks with boundless potential. It was very unethical to renige on a salary offer. The $2 increase could have been found in some bucket or another.

The only plus factor about this company as I see it, is you enjoyed the work and the co-workers. The 30 year old big wig will probably decide to grace another company with his talents before the current company catches on to his poor decision making skills. Guys like him tend to be more trouble than they are worth. If sometime in the future, the landscape could change and you might find it a more attractive/better paying place to work.

But no amount of money will make you happy if you are being treated badly. The new job is probably going to be your best bet, and I'm not saying you should stay, just be diplomatic in your letter. Maybe your company does exit interviews, I've never had one so I don't know if they are useful.

Regarding health insurance, do you know if Rick Perry will allow Texas to join? I don't remember the last news regarding States that don't want to participate. Those that do seem to see better rates, but if the new employer offers a plan that will take care of you until the markets open a bit. Good luck to you, and I know I would feel just as used as you were if my employer backed out of a signed agreement.

I don't think I'm older than you.

I don't know enough about Texan employment law to offer an informed opinion, but I was under the assumption that once something was in writing it was binding. If you were over here I'd advise you to join a trade union and take advantage of their legal services. I Don't know if that's an option where you are. Failing that, I'd probably do what you're doing. Smile, suck it up, but look elsewhere. At the very least you don't owe them anything.

Email the VP's boss a summary of the fiasco and an offer to do the VP'S job for $2 an hour less than he is currently paid.

Hello you

just a thought... if per chance, when they receive the resignation letter, they decide to honour the original agreement... what would you do?

(I'm hoping that with a little hanging-their-corporate-heads-in-shame that there may be a possibility of honouring the $2/hr raise - I don't know about TX law either but ya know, just in case they do the "right" thing, maybe have a think about it, just in case)

Working for folk who treat you badly is horrible - however, if you love the company and the folk there - do you think, if the opportunity arises, you would wish to stay on?

((Chai))x

I'm sure we're the same age izzythe push, that was very much a joke, based on what one of those 2 clowns (channeling set), who obviously did not well read my OP said about finding somoneone much older to be my mentor. If I had to look for anyone much older, it'd be a corpse. (joking again).

Yes, this is what I'm doing, sucking it up and looking elsewhere.

That's something wise elders are good at, because we've had the experience to figure out when to suck it up, and when to immediately cut and run.

As JPB said, this is bullshit. I know it's bullshit, but it was good to hear someone who's opinion I have grown to respect say it too. It's good to get your feedback too push man.
So I'll serve out my 2 weeks in good humor, and take the cake, card and hugs all around on my final day.

It may be academic at this point, but maybe they are telling the truth. Your boss seemed surprised at the increase and in my experience, bosses are not surprised at pay increases because that is something you really make a big deal about. That is not to say you were treated well, but this could have been the honest error they made it out to be. If you really love the work, leaving could be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

It's hard to see how enjoying your work, and your co-workers, with whom you spend a thrid of your day, an "only". Plus that is definately not the "only" to it. This business provides the ultimate gift to humans, imho. The people who work there, both in the office and out in the field are dedicated, hardworking, and on the whole, if asked, would be doing nothing else. They do so with grace under fire and with compassion and professionalism. That's not to say everyone who works there is walking around with halos, and serene expressions. Hell no. You've got every personality type out there working together. That's the operative phrase "working together" regardless of personality variances.

Yes, the big wig will most likely continue his climb up the ladder, here or somewhere else. That doesn't matter. Really doesn't to me.

It's not about the money, how could it be when I willingly and happily took a 25% pay cut in the first place to go to work there? I could have continued on temping indefinately, but I made the choice to follow my heart, which my head was telling me (and rightfully so) was a wonderful idea. However, it's not 100% about the fact a promise was broken. That's just opened a window that gave me the opportunity to look at my place in this system as a whole. It let me see the forest for the trees, and that my place has changed significantly enough from when I started working there to make it no longer optimum for my peace of mind.

When I first started there, last October, I was hired in one position, had 2 interviews, shadowed for most of a day to I could see them, and they could see me. I knew who I'd be reporting to, and who she reported to, and we all clicked. It rolls downhill. Happy happy, joy joy.

When changes in my position started to occur, didn't phase me. As a "wise elder" I treat my job like running my household. Some days you're doing your income taxes, other days you're unclogging a toilet, others you're researching the best deal on replacing the roof. It's all part of the big picture, and it's what makes life interesting and worthwhile.

4 or 5 months in, a new employee was hired, the one who is now my boss. At that time, we had little professional relationship with each other. I remember meeting her on her first day and my initial thought was "Nice person, but coming across as a bit over the top in her excitement of being here. I chalked it up to newb jitters. I figured I didn't know the road she'd taken to get here, maybe she'd had a spate of unemployment, and was thrilled, maybe a bit too thrilled at working. Maybe she was naturally a bit manic, maybe this, maybe that. Didn't matter to me, I can respect who she is.......as long as I didn't have to deal with her daily.......(ominous foreboding cue here)

Then came the transitioning. Someone moved out of state, transferred out, and the same time our business was taking a slump (temporary, it happens), me an others all met the challenge of streching to cover the gap. No one unhappy about it, it's doable, just busy. The dust settles, business coming back up, by this time I'm more doing something other than hired, I'm ok with that. In my meantime someone else has slipped into my old role (she'd been looking for the opportunity), her old role is being filled by someone transferring from another state, who had been looking for the opportunity for awhile. Gaps and closures. Might sound confusing, like musical chairs, but it truly wasn't. More like "everyone shift to your right" It was actually a good experience to learn and do other roles. I know I've said to myself more than once "oh....so that's why this is done"

But as it turns out, in my new position, my boss is this (not now) newb. What I'd figured out is that (1) she is a bit of a manic personality, i.e. some racing thoughts, a bit OCD, which I can totally get, been there done that, that God for Zoloft. (2) She's terrified of her boss, who covers a large territory, and who is a total control freak, has little ability to communicate priorities, everything to her seems equally mission critical.

See, in my original position, I'd have little dealings with them, now, these people are the one's I report to.
During the week before I gave my notice, an "aha" or rather "oh...my...god" moment occured. I was talking to my boss, and she used the exact same expression my old boss of 13 years used to use, and in the same context. That was a wake up call for me. The dots are connecting.
I had good reason to stay the last few years at my 13 year tenure job, I had to have insurance for my husband. That situation no longer exists, he's covered by Medicare.

Unfortunatley, all the shifting around has settled. Oh, the shifting will start again now when I leave, until someone else is hired, but that's not my worry.

meh....in this shifting I could have ended up in a more advantageous position, or at least back in my original position, but that's not how it rolled.

I'm not unhappy in my decision to leave.

Let me say from the heart I truly appreciate what thoughtful opionions have been given.

Please....continue. I think this might be a good sounding board for people in similar, at this stage of life situations.

This isn't a thread about "my boyfriend beats me up but i love him what should i do" or "do you think he likes me i texted him and he hasn't texted me back for 5 minutes what did i do wrong".

Regarding posts from foofie and punky, being told "find a mentor" "always be on the lookout for another job" is so "google search job search strategies", which is just about as helpful as needing to cut expenses and being told to "stop getting starbucks on the way to work" yeah....thanks....I stopped buying starbucks, my worries are over.

Funny, I have the idea that this is going to happen on Monday, or more to the point, a compromise offered.

Answer, no, I wouldn't take it. This isn't like Engineer (thanks Engineer) said cutting off my nose to spite my face, more like I can see the situation clearly now.

Engineer....yes, I think that this was an honest mistake, however, the way in which it was handled was just plain wrong. Hmm, what is it someone uses in their signature line?....oh, RP.....and a quote from the ultimate Wise Elder, Roberta....If that's wrong, you can assume other stuff is wrong too.

A couple of points....yeah, I could make a legal stink about it. However, I'm not embarrassed or ashamed to say I don't have that kind of fight in me (anymore). I've fought many dragons in my life, both real and imaginary, and this isn't one I (a) want to tackle, (b) is worth it and (c) give a **** about winning.
Maybe at one point in life I'd put on my suit of armour and wave the banner of justice. I prefer now to reserve my indignation for more important things.

Back to Izzie.....Funny thing, on Friday, the receptionist wasn't picking up the phone, so it started ringing in the back, and I happened to be the one who picked up. It was corp guy. Conversation went something like...

him: Oh HI Chai......I....heard you resigned....
me: Yes, corp guy, I'd thought about it and thought it best.
him: Well, I'm surprised.... I thought (and here's the part that made me hold the phone receiver away from my face and stare at it a moment) we'd gotten past that.

WTF? My thoughts didn't work that quickly, but what I thought a minute later was..."There IS no "we" corp guy, this is My decision" What I did say was...

me: Well, it's not just that corp guy, there's other factors.
him: Oh? Like what?
me: This isn't something I want to discuss right now, over the phone, in the middle of the office
him: Well, that's something I did want to talk to you about. I thought we could get together on Monday, to "touch base (gag)" and discuss.
me: Well, that would be fine.

Sure, I'll talk to him. I'm certainly aware not to burn bridges. I don't know why exactly I think this, but I have a feeling he's going to want to discuss compromise, like offering me a buck, instead of 2.

My response to that (and not cutting off my nose to spite my face) would be. "If you're willing to offer me X now, why weren't you prepared and willing to offer it to me when the opportunity first presented itself?" It isn't setting a good precedent to blow someone off as unimportant or not worth it, then reversing when you realize this is someone who will actually act in their own self interest.

My firm belief is if I was offered and accept an increase, my performance, behavior, basically the essence of me will always be in question with them. I don't want to get up every morning knowing I wasn't considered "good enough" to work out a compromise in the first place.

While I'm too far along to be much of a fighter (There are damn few things I've fought for in my life that were truly worth it, looking back. The only battles I've taken on that were worth the fight had to do with personal issues, not work) I still do have my version of self respect (not false pride), which includes knowing my worth. I'm worth more than this, my peace of mind will remain intact. That's worth more than all the kingdoms on earth.

Oh!

Here is an actually question for ya'll

My resume (and yes it is up to date, revised, all that stuff)

Question is, it runs a span of 30 years, including 6 place of employment. Now, that of course means I've got 15 good years left in me, but to a recruiter scanning resumes, that career span may be longer than he/she has been alive.

The only reason there's as many as 6 jobs was that it was a period where I married, divorced, moved, had a job that lasted only a year, another one 2 years, due to the moving to get married, moving again after divorce.

If I cut off the earliest 10 years of my work, it does not change my experience level as far as skills and responsibility.
It shows that in 20 years I've held 3 positions, one of which was 13 years, the one before that 3. Gaps can be legitimately explained.

I question cutting of the oldest job there, which brings my resume to 15 years, which would leave me with only 2 jobs, the current position, and the 13 year one. Firstly, the long term one isn't one that one would have just jumped into, with no previous life/work experience. Secondly, I don't think 2 positions accurately represents growth in what I've done.

If I cut off 10 years, I can later explain those earlier positions at or after an interview (after I've dazzled them with my presence).
However, and even though it isn't right or fair, recruiters/employers might look more closely as someone they initial think is in their mid forties, not mid fifties.

Cut off 10 years until they've met me or leave it whole?

Here's the link to the "over 50 and out of work" site....100 stories....

http://www.overfiftyandoutofwork.com/videos/100-stories/


for good, bad or indifferent.

Well, as to your resume question, I would leave off the earlier 10 years. When I hired people, I didn't want to read a tome on each applicant. I have whittled my resume down to two pages; if they're interested, they can ask me about my earlier work, but no one has ever bothered. Likewise the education info - nobody has ever asked to see my university or college or high school transcripts so I eventually threw them away. It's too long ago to matter.

As to your previous conundrum - it sounds like you had an issue with them not sticking to their word, which was the pay increase, and you didn't want to work for an organization who didn't honour their commitments, is that right? What I think is that the VP (who was representing the organization) was a bad hire. If I had been the VP and we (typist, OM, whoever) had made that error, I would have stuck by what was signed and I would never have even let you know about it. He is trying to save the org some $ (and small money at that), but he lost a valued employee by doing so.

If I had enjoyed the job and the environment as much as you indicated you had, I might have just shaken my head at the bad management but stayed where I liked working. The issue was not that you were not worth the extra $, but that the raise may not have been approved for that position. So it wasn't personal - it could have happened to any of the employees. I just think it was handled badly.

Thanks mame for the advice on the resume. I think I'll make a version that takes out the earliest 10 years.

I do include the education, since the jobs I'm applying for always ask for a certain level, and the resume states what I have.
In fact, and this has only happened once, I actually have been asked to produce transcripts to interview for a certain job. Which was a royal pain in the ass, but I got them.

As far as the environment, well, there are environments, and sub environments. I'm in a sub environment right now that I don't want to be in, although I like the larger environment of the people I interact with daily or at least several times a week.

I've been watching some of these videos, albeit so far just the women, picking the one's that look like women about my age.

What I'm seeing, and it reflects in some of the points on the list about hiring people over 50, are as follows...

Here are people that are well spoken, not out of touch with the world. They aren't dottering old crones or dinosaurs. They are not all about being cut throat and taking someone elses job, and/or constantly looking for the next best thing.

I get in the world of 20 somethings, even 30 somethings, depending on your environment, you have to market/network put yourself forward.

However, if I was hiring someone, I'd always be battling with the fact I'd have to be constantly looking for replacements, training new people. I'd rather have someone who was going to do the job, take pride in their work, not be worried about "that's not my duty" and I knew they were going to be around for years.

These aren't people looking for the fancy title that you can't even figure out what they do. The title's not nearly has important as the fact we show up, do great work, and I think tend not to brings nearly as much drama to the job.

I'll admit, you have to be in the proper mood to watch these videos, or it's too depressing. But I actually think younger people in management, in the position of hiring, need to watch these.

People of a certain age aren't about to keel over dead, and we actually know what you do as far as technology (as far as work applications), because guess what, we were the generation that invented it.

I really like this woman.....

http://www.overfiftyandoutofwork.com/100stories/alice-seifert/

I can't wait to hear how your Monday meeting works out. It will be interesting how he explains 'ignoring the terms of a contract' as if it was something you cheerfully accepted. They didn't make a $20000 per hour flub, a $2 increase is not an unheard of notion when you accept a new position. It's a trust issue, at least for me.

yep