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Sun 21 Jul, 2013 08:04 am
i apologize for length, but im stuck and im not sure about her :/
so im a 17 year old guy and our singer is 16 and
i like her alot. she flirts with me, we both love rock
and metal, she plays guitar, as do i. shes teaching
me to sing and im showing her tips on guitar.
she flirts with our bassist. hes 21 and he
doesnt like it. but he blows her off. It can be
seen as hard to get from her point of view.
she tickles him bites him. always sitting on him. and
he knows i like her and doesnt want jailbait. he wants
a girl 18 or older.
she does the same stuff with me.
she flirts, tickles, says flirtatious things to me and
says she loves me and is always give me and our
bassist hugs before practice is over and we leave.
well our leader in the band went missing for 18
hours and hes going through marraige problems and
what not. so we were all worried.
i cried a little and so did the bassist. we werent
gonna lose a best friend.
she came over to me and hugged me tight for 5
minutes straight and had her head buried in my
shoulder. she was rubbing her fingers through my
hair and then kissed my neck. telling me to stop shaking and that im going to be fine.
she went to the bassist and did the same thing.
well the band told me to text her and ask her out
over text message so she can have time to think for a week
until i go to her friends b-day party with her on saturday.
i sent her a text that said:
Hey look i dont know if you have known but I like You and I
was wondering if we could probably take things slow and
maybe try things
then she said
I don't know... cause I know Rob likes me a lot
too... and I don't wanna hurt him with that... plus it
wouldn't be good for the band... cause what if we
ended up getting in a fight and break up... that
would make things awkward in the band and junk....
I don't really want that... /:
i then said:
This is how I feel, if something were to work, I
wouldn't allow awkwardness or bad endings, I'm not
the the kinda person that ends things with people
I'm close with...
Plus the band sorta encouraged it too because they
said they had a good feeling about this
then she said
I dunno... ill think about it..
rob, our bassist, doesnt like her like that. so he said
hes gonna sit her down and tell her straight up he
dont like her like that and that im worth it.
shes straight forward with what she says, and theyre
telling me to let her think about it and let her text
me or vox me when shes ready and that i need to
play hard to get.
what do i do? rob says we connect well and we flirt
well and would make a smashingly cute couple as he
says.
i planned on telling her this if the topic comes up
again:
"look, im not a lucky guy, or at least i feel it at times,
but what i do know is when i see something good
come along, i take the shot and seize the
opportunity and make the most out of it. i will NOT
burn bridges, as long as the other person did not do
something really outrageously stupid, i will still be
there, so you dont need to worry about problems"
and honestly im not an asshole. i do not burn
bridges, i havent ended a single friendship yet. i havent
ended things harshly and people say im easy to
fogrive cause of who i am.
i need to tell her that though if it comes up.
so what do you guys think? i feel the connection
between me and her and i know wed be great.
i dont get many opportunities with girls and when one
comes along that i really connect with i really hope that it works.
again sorry for the length of this please bare through the text :/
@stepp5150,
this is why most bands don't have a girl...
@Rockhead,
i know. we wanted a mixture of female vocals and male. like skillet. but i told the rest of the band id only pursue her if i know it wont end badly. like everyone tells me, im very easy to like and get close to and people get over being mad at me quick.
so, thats pretty much how i feel. lol, i just dont know how to make it work. im bad with girls. the band has been giving me tons of support.
@stepp5150,
stepp5150 wrote:
the band has been giving me tons of support.
They are probably doing that because they want material for sad songs.
@contrex,
ive known everybody in the band for roughly a decade now. were like family. with the exception of the girl. we all met her a month ago.
@stepp5150,
"I'll think about it" is usually a girls way of saying 'no' without saying no. Just as the other things she said can be.
I'd just drop any thought of asking, and just keep doing the flirting stuff, humour, having fun etc. If it's meant to be it'll happen.
And I'd keep your eyes open for other possibilities too (because she has basically said 'no', you shouldn't just focus on her)
@vikorr,
vikorr wrote:"I'll think about it" is usually a girls way of saying 'no' without saying no.
This is the bottom line. If she wanted to go out with you, you would know about it.
Of course you "connect" - you are in the band and making music together. All the band members should be "connecting" with each other. She just connects differently, as a flirty girl.
So - guess what? - she is flirting with everyone and probably could never be true to you. So you really have to figure out if you want to even try to have a romantic relationship with her.
It usually doesn't work out in a band. It's better to look outside of the band for a gf.
@stepp5150,
stepp5150 wrote: but i told the rest of the band id only pursue her if i know it wont end badly.
she's 16, you're 17. there pretty much is no alternative to things ending badly
don't mess with the band dynamics. look for a girlfriend outside of the band.
@stepp5150,
Trust me buddy, its not a good idea at all...
U'll end up messing it up with the band.
Now you don't have any problem with that girl doing the same stuff to Rob as she does to you, but once you are seeing each other, it is gna be a prblm. For you and for her too. Things change, and sometimes they go out of control. You n ur band members are like a family since years, I would really suggest don't even risk it. You maybe mature enough to understand the dynamics, but the girl might not be.
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