Strong persistent sucidal thoughts / and feel emotionally heavy and drained

This is quite troubling for those on A2K who care about helping people...as you keep posting the same question .. posting the same serious issues. Your problems are far too serious to get any meaningful help you desperately need here. You need to be responsible for your getting the help you need and STAYING with it!

The type of help you seek can't come from here. This can only be a diversion.

I'd strongly recommend getting a therapist and keeping those appointments. I have no idea why you have no therapist...but it's not something you can do without. Why do you have no therapist right now? Did your therapist sever their ties with you for some reason?

What do you parents think about what is going on for you now?

{EDIT: I just read your last post that explains what happened to your last therapist. for those who are trying to follow this.}

This is what is actually going on:
http://able2know.org/topic/204551-2#post-5373155

Well,I think you should consult an psychologist. I too used to type of feelings. But I red a lot of story books,played football and did everything possible to keep me distracted. Finally, I got rid of them.

In your last post, you said:



That would have been yesterday. Did you keep the appointment for the physical yesterday? Did you meet with the medical care coordinator and the doctor?

What are you doing to obtain another therapist?



Have you been telling your family what is going on and how you are feeling? Are you being honest with them?

Yes i kept the Appt .
And certain extent i do

Im feeling so lost helpless powerless
Im not strong no hope for a future no hope no nothing nothing worth it to keep trudging through im scared lost as ever

Im in emotional pain i wanna give up im not sure i can handle life anymore no relieve or anything im in so much pain emotionally no one gets it im scared and lost hopeless heaven seems only way for peace. Nobody would give a damn if i die they would just move on.
.guess i just have to stay suffering in earth

Wonder girl, we love you, but your judgment is messy. Please contact you team.

I see my peer specialist today and told my team already they know

I was talking to a friend over Instant messaging feeling normal , when all of a sudden i hear a voice in my head all i could tell that it was male older then i and he was angry very and wanted to do me in , this male voice in my head yelled at me "kill yrself (me) now" /"hit yourself with a paddle again and again"/ "dump yourself in a lake"/ and "im going to get you " and then this male voice spoke very fast and garbled.

And then i heard pipes and something that sounded like metal inside pipes for half hour, then after that i saw a slender women about 6' something very very tall and no features or hair just her body and a white shawl in a window, after saw women everything stopped and i calmed a tad. While this all was happening i was having chest pain an pain behind my right eye all stopped after i saw the lady in the window mind you in the window not actual person an nothing caused that to happen in my room nor any objects caused it.

I might see someone from my act team to process tomorrow.
My psych nurse thought that i unknowably dissociated , but i feel i hallucinated unknowably.

My Mom died early this morning at around 11:15 am cst



Just need support and lots of of hugs an support . She was dealing with cancer and the cancer was making her suffer so much that she said that she hated the days .

May she rest in peace.

Thank you it just feels very rough and I'm sorta still in disbelief it had happened or whichever it hurts like crazy


I miss her verrrrrrrrrry much

I've been overdosing again three times as of late
A nurse told me I was lucky I didn't experience serious effects from the pills bur such nausea an slight confusion I only experienced .

Please, wonder, wherever you live, I hope you get help. I have a bias for university hospitals, but their emergency rooms can be stuffed. However, you get interviewed, and they will put you up in line if you explain. That would be at least a start.

I think there are suicide hot lines, whatever place you live, at least in the u.s. Just call the telephone operator.
I think the people who answer may know how to help.
Be honest with whomever you talk with.

I'll be ok

Promise?
Take care of yourself, please.

Really ,my team is gonna work with me on it

Good. Hang in there.

I don't know how to stop doing od's so much

I'm no expert, you need to talk to some people who can guide you.