I miss my 11 year old nephew so much, but i had fight with my brother's family. I am 20

My nephew has always been like my best friend perhaps as we don't have huge age difference (just 8-9). Always on good terms, whenever i came to my brother's home (especially for my nephew), he was running after me all time and we kind of become friends since he was 5.

Whenever he knew i was coming, he would make plans what to do, take me to places and we enjoyed a lot. My brother is really dry, arrogant, selfish and narcissist person and we have never been on very good terms.

Though it seems like my nephew is drifting away from me (he is getting 12) but at same time, he seems to be same person, we still spent loads of time when we met last (he was 11). I am a really introvert person by nature, had been betrayed by a lot of people so don't make close friends.

But as i said, i had got in fight with my narcissist brother and we are kinda broke now, it was limit i can tolerate his selfishness. But i am greatly missing my nephew.



I had almost forgotten him, but yesterday i got a dream having me with him. We are just sitting, talking like we always did and laughing. So from morning, i am thinking a lot about him.

Sometimes i think he just used me during his boredom for getting fun, as i was the only young adult. I always remember his birthday, always give him good time but he never say 'thanks' or phone me. I am like a used condom for my nephew, who was used and to be thrown away at last.

So now i have dual views about my nephew, and he is the only reason i can bend my head before my brother to call an end to fight.

Please help me, suggesting what i can do to make my life better.