Hello
I'm almost 30 and been dating my boyfriend for 2 years.
He works for a huge company and has to travel a lot. Sometimes he has to spend three to four months away, and I mean very far away (most frequent destinations are China and Mozambique).
He's now in Mozambique and I haven't seen him in a month. Yesterday we talked on the phone (he calls me as much as he can but not everyday - too expensive - however sends me e-mails on a daily basis) and he said (with a sweet tone):
"It's been a month now...I miss you, I miss making love to you, I'm climbing up the walls... sometimes I get so needy...I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but... (silence)... I really don't want you to take this the wrong way, but sometimes I think, just as a thought and not as something that I've considered doing, that it would be so easy for me to meet someone else just for the pleasure and the sex...because I do get needy...but then I realise it's not the sex that I want...it's you, it's the sex with love, it's the smell of your skin, it's the way you make me feel and noone could ever replace that. Please don't take this the wrong way...when oportunity presents itself, I can't help but think that I don't want to go for it...I do, and at the same time I don't...because it's you, there could never be another...I don't know, it's strange for me to say this. I've never been like this in my life before. Please don't take this the wrong way...it's just that I catch myself thinking that this feeling for you is so strong...everything just reinforces the certainty of my love for you."
I appreciated his sincerity, but couldn't help wondering and feeling insecure - after all, he said he was climbing up the walls and that the thought of meeting someone else had crossed his mind (even if it just "crossed" - and we're not saints, we're bound to think of other possibilities, other people). Since he'd talked in a sweet tone, I said, in a joking tone (but deep down I wasn't) that now I was gonna get paranoid that he was gonna have sex with someone else since he was so needy...he said "no, what I was trying to tell you was exactly the opposite. That's why I was afraid that you could take this the wrong way".
After all, I guess what he said was sweet but, at the same time, left me a little shaky. Maybe I'm focusing on the wrong things, on being pessimistic, instead of focusing on what he really meant by that.
Your thoughts on this?
Thank you.