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What if your boyfriend (or girlfriend) told you this

 
 
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 02:22 pm
Hello Smile

I'm almost 30 and been dating my boyfriend for 2 years.
He works for a huge company and has to travel a lot. Sometimes he has to spend three to four months away, and I mean very far away (most frequent destinations are China and Mozambique).
He's now in Mozambique and I haven't seen him in a month. Yesterday we talked on the phone (he calls me as much as he can but not everyday - too expensive - however sends me e-mails on a daily basis) and he said (with a sweet tone):

"It's been a month now...I miss you, I miss making love to you, I'm climbing up the walls... sometimes I get so needy...I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but... (silence)... I really don't want you to take this the wrong way, but sometimes I think, just as a thought and not as something that I've considered doing, that it would be so easy for me to meet someone else just for the pleasure and the sex...because I do get needy...but then I realise it's not the sex that I want...it's you, it's the sex with love, it's the smell of your skin, it's the way you make me feel and noone could ever replace that. Please don't take this the wrong way...when oportunity presents itself, I can't help but think that I don't want to go for it...I do, and at the same time I don't...because it's you, there could never be another...I don't know, it's strange for me to say this. I've never been like this in my life before. Please don't take this the wrong way...it's just that I catch myself thinking that this feeling for you is so strong...everything just reinforces the certainty of my love for you."

I appreciated his sincerity, but couldn't help wondering and feeling insecure - after all, he said he was climbing up the walls and that the thought of meeting someone else had crossed his mind (even if it just "crossed" - and we're not saints, we're bound to think of other possibilities, other people). Since he'd talked in a sweet tone, I said, in a joking tone (but deep down I wasn't) that now I was gonna get paranoid that he was gonna have sex with someone else since he was so needy...he said "no, what I was trying to tell you was exactly the opposite. That's why I was afraid that you could take this the wrong way".

After all, I guess what he said was sweet but, at the same time, left me a little shaky. Maybe I'm focusing on the wrong things, on being pessimistic, instead of focusing on what he really meant by that.

Your thoughts on this?
Thank you.


 
parados
 
  3  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 03:18 pm
@justwonderingdiana,
Quote:
I catch myself thinking that this feeling for you is so strong...everything just reinforces the certainty of my love for you."


Take him at his word.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 04:45 pm
@justwonderingdiana,
Diana,

Don't feel insecure, in fact feel the opposite, what a beautiful thing for him to say.

Sometimes a compliment has to have a negativity to it, in order for someone to clearly see, what is being said.

The biggest compliment a man can give a woman, is to state that no woman can replace her, and sex is sex, he would never consider it with another as he would lose the person he loves. He is professing his love to you.

Typically, a man has urges, a month is a long time.. When opportunity approaches him, he thinks of you and smiles in the knowing of what he has.

A very brave statement, he has made.

Don't be in-secure Wink
justwonderingdiana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 05:04 pm
@FOUND SOUL,
Thanks for your words. But I can't help thinking he's "climbing up walls", that we spend so many time far away, and that he may consider other options even if he says he doesn't want to (after all, nature is nature)... Or that he may be saying that just to keep me secure while he's up to no good (I know this is could be paranoia...)
Oh well, I'll just take his word. Nothing I can do from such a distance...

I really don't feel this urgent need for sex after just one month away Smile
contrex
 
  3  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 05:32 pm
@justwonderingdiana,
justwonderingdiana wrote:
But I can't help thinking he's "climbing up walls"


He's feeding you bullshit. A decent guy would purchase a copy of Playboy, or Rustler, and a jar of Vaseline, and some tissues, and have what we Brits call "a brisk wank". Be suspicious. This is a guy speaking here. Be suspicious, not just in this present situation, but generally. Review past situations. Anything come to mind?

"Opportunity presents itself" - like I said, bullshit. That type of "opportunity" does not "present" itself. It is sought out by someone desiring it.





Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 05:55 pm
@contrex,
I tend to agree.
0 Replies
 
justwonderingdiana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 06:07 pm
@contrex,
So basically, according to your opinion, he's just saying those things to keep me secure while he's up to no good.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 06:23 pm
@justwonderingdiana,
Well then, is there anything he could have said that wouldn't sound suspicious to you? Sounds like he is damned in your own mind whatever he says.

Who knows, he may only be inhibited by the incidence of aids in mozambique.

http://www.worldlifeexpectancy.com/mozambique-hiv-aids
justwonderingdiana
 
  1  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 06:29 pm
@roger,
Lol.
0 Replies
 
parados
 
  2  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 06:34 pm
@contrex,
So if a man says "every woman I see makes me think of you" they are feeding a line of ****? How sad for you to think so.
pedro7819
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 1 Jun, 2013 09:18 pm
@justwonderingdiana,
Your BF is very horny when he is away from you. Plus he is constantly exposed to very pretty women, or so I assume. This makes his blood pump, and he knows that he could easily cheat on you without you knowing, just as you could probably do the same while he is away.
I however, as a lifelong "dog", believe you have a loyal one. He is, in an almost kind of way, trying to ask your permission to ejaculate with another.
I would recommend allowing him a full body massage with hand release and hand release only. Chances are he will chicken out anyway. This guy is pretty honest, and likely won't be with another anytime soon.
You must take very good care of him. If you are thirty he is assumedly young also, while the fires are still burning this type of stuff can be expected.
Don't over-react with him. He sounds good.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Jun, 2013 04:32 pm
@justwonderingdiana,
Why bother to say it? Guilt? Assuming that he is sleeping with others and not using a tissue, so he tells you "bullshit" to cover his own guilt? IDK.. Given that he knew that you would think "like that" and get worried about those words, why say it? A smart guy would think of something where you go "aweee" and feel safe not the other way around.

That's just my opinion.
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Jun, 2013 10:56 am
@parados,
parados wrote:

So if a man says "every woman I see makes me think of you" they are feeding a line of ****? How sad for you to think so.


Not every man. This one, in the circumstances described.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 6 Jun, 2013 05:58 am
If he meant this as a compliment or expression of his love, he sure did it wrong.

Consider phone or cyber sex with him.

And let him know that a little thing "on the side" because he is so "needy" for you is out of the question.

0 Replies
 
Aldistar
 
  3  
Reply Sat 8 Jun, 2013 07:53 pm
If he wanted to cheat he could do so easily without ever having said any of this. Guys tend to be a lot more literal than us women. You are being a typical girl in over analyzing what he has said. I would take him at his word.

It seems that he was really trying to re-assure and affirm to you how he feels about you. I can definitely see the parts that would throw you (I would have had the same reaction to be honest), but it truly seems that he is trying to assure you he loves you and that even when he knows it would be easy to cheat he finds he doesn't even want too.
0 Replies
 
parados
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 07:20 am
@contrex,
contrex wrote:

parados wrote:

So if a man says "every woman I see makes me think of you" they are feeding a line of ****? How sad for you to think so.


Not every man. This one, in the circumstances described.


Because you slept with this guy? Or are you just making assumptions without knowing him?
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sun 9 Jun, 2013 08:25 am
@parados,
parados wrote:

Because you slept with this guy? Or are you just making assumptions without knowing him?


Because I know what I am talking about. Get off my goddam case, jerkweed.
parados
 
  2  
Reply Mon 10 Jun, 2013 09:14 am
@contrex,
Just because you have an opinion doesn't mean you know what you are talking about. You don't know the guy. You don't know the poster who asked about the guy.

Yet you KNOW the guy is cheating? Oh please. You have an opinion based on your limited experience. That doesn't mean all guys cheat.
0 Replies
 
 

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