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Would you date a girl who...

 
 
ippn1
 
Reply Mon 27 May, 2013 07:07 am
..cheated in the past (when she was 18 and is 22 now)

Her 1st BF of 2 years cheated on her so they broke up. After 1 month she started dating new BF and after a while she figured out she didt get over her 1st BF so she cheated her new BF with her 1st BF.
She said she will never forgive herself for what she did to her 2nd BF.

I figured out she isnt completely over her last bf since we have been dating - 1 month.
 
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2013 07:25 am
@ippn1,
So this happened 4 years ago?

This happened about 20% of her life ago?

What else has gone on in this persons life after 4 years? Perhaps gotten a full college education, been out in the workplace being a responsible person, taking on all sorts of life's duties and challenges?

What good has this person done, and what commitments is she holding to now?

What changes have you gone through from when you were 18, fast forward to being 22? Would you want to be held to some of the things you did at 18 years old?

Or is that different because it's you?

PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2013 04:04 pm
Just goes to show you that 18 year olds have no business being "committed" in any relationship. Heck, their brains haven't even developed yet.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  0  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2013 05:02 pm
What is this business called cheating?

Had you two signed up for living together forever (major dumb move in my view).
0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2013 05:06 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:

So this happened 4 years ago?

This happened about 20% of her life ago?

What else has gone on in this persons life after 4 years? Perhaps gotten a full college education, been out in the workplace being a responsible person, taking on all sorts of life's duties and challenges?

What good has this person done, and what commitments is she holding to now?

What changes have you gone through from when you were 18, fast forward to being 22? Would you want to be held to some of the things you did at 18 years old?

Or is that different because it's you?



All good points. If she as an individual experienced any level of emotional maturity then yes. She deserves a chance and have her past mistakes set aside for at least now.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  1  
Reply Mon 27 May, 2013 05:29 pm
@ippn1,
Quote:
I figured out she isnt completely over her last bf since we have been dating - 1 month.


Then stop dating her. I suspect she holds guilt regarding her last boyfriend and that her first boyfriend was exactly that. Her first, hence the confusion of whether it was final or not at that point in her life.

Until she doesn't need anyone but her self, she won't be able to let anyone into her life in a strong capacity. First loves for a young lady or man, is hard to let go of until someone better comes into their life and they are ready to accept that.
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 May, 2013 11:16 am
@ippn1,
ippn1 wrote:
Her 1st BF of 2 years cheated on her so they broke up. After 1 month she started dating new BF and after a while she figured out she didt get over her 1st BF so she cheated her new BF with her 1st BF.


If she told you about all this after just 1 month then there are a lot of things she isn't over.
0 Replies
 
 

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