Married Man in another country - any sense?

This could be the classic story of the affair with the married man ... maybe it is, I don't know.

(having said that, leave the judgamental cr*ap out please...)

I met him in October 2011. We live in different continents (it's a ten hour flight). He came on vacation (alone) and we ended up getting involved. I knew he was married, but I thought I would never see or talk to him again...after all, it was just a 8 day vacation. I was wrong.

So he returned to his country,and since then we've been talking everyday (we exchanged contacts but I NEVER thought he'd keep in touch). I was initially very cold and wouldn't reply his e-mails, because in addition to living so far away, he is married and it needed to stop because we wouldn't get anywhere and I would only end up getting hurt. But then I fell for it. He insisted and insisted that he loved me and would prove me wrong. (I got the feeling that he felt very alone and disconected in this marriage, as opposed to the caring and loving way I treated him).

The truth is that it's been a year and seven months and he continues to call almost daily (of course, when she's not around), e-mailing and has come to my country 5 times in a year just to see me.

Having said that, the excuse of "he's using you for sex, having his cake and eating it too" does not seem to fit this story. This is what makes me think there's something "different in this story" (some may think I believe what I want to believe, but it's not that at all). We're not talking average phone calls or journeys to see me, he actually has to spend often more that he can afford (the benefits and disadvantages of credit cards...) to keep in touch with me, to see me. I think he really loves me, but doesn't seem to be able to end a marriage of 17 years with a 16 year old son, because there are bonds, feelings, friendship, sense of security, etc. He has always told me he doesn't love her, but tells me he cares for her and they're friends.

When they married she was 16 and he married her because she was pregnant and felt it was the right thing to do. I'm not trying to make excuses for him, nor saying I completely believe that it's just out of pity that he's with her, but I get the feeling that she is emotionally dependent on him and he worries about her almost like a father would, but says he does not love her. I know he has cheated on her several times, he told me himself, and that once he almost left her for another woman, but then she begged for him to return home and he felt guilty so he did. He also says there are things that keep him with her, mainly financial issues (I know they all say so, but I have good reasons to believe it's true) and his son. Whenever he comes to see me, he has to pay the trip in 10 parcels and halfway through the days he's already out of money and I pay the expenses). Also seems to me that he feels very responsible for her and he is the kind of person who always wants to be on good terms with everyone, he cannot handle situations that might end up in confrontation. He avoids it and he feels responsible for everyone's happiness. He accompanies her everywhere, but when he goes somewhere, she doesn't care and he always goes alone (I know this for a fact). She seems not to care much as long as he comes home.

He's saying since the beggining he will separate and keeps saying so, but in such a convincing way - and I'm not an idiot to believe any crap) that, difficult as this may seem to believe, I truly do - I don't know if he'll go through, but I know he wants to.

So he decided he would leave by the end of August 2012. He left his job.

In August he came, but told me he hadn't been able to finish the marriage. She had a minor health probem and he couldn't end it (I know, it's not a good enough excuse, in spite of being true), also because of what his son would think of him and fears and insecurity. He came and stayed for a month, he only went back when she told him the date of the surgery, as he had promised he would be there. I went to the airport with him to arrange a flight to fit those dates.

I do not know what he said to his wife about leaving home for so long (a month) without a date to go back, but sure she didn't mind (or didn't show it) because one day I was sitting next to him and saw an e-mail from her saying "hi sweety, missing you! Love you a lot" that is not normal ... if your husband leaves for a month you sure will suspect something: he had his phone turned off ALL THE TIME he was here...she could only contact him by email.

The question is: will he ever leave her? He has travelled here twice since August, and I went there once. The calls and e-mails continue, keeps saying and insists on saying he's doing what he can to get finantially independent, that he wants to stay with me and will be with me. But he still lives there. Says he's trapped because since he left his job, he hasn't got up on his feet yet and depends on her financially. I know it's not just this, and I know it's not easy to leave your whole life behind, specially when you get along with your spouse (even in a superficial way), when you've built a life, and simply trade it for something so uncertain - even though we love each other.

Thing is, I torture him and pressure him so much (I really do) that he could have ended this thing already. He doesn't. We live 10.000 km apart. Who would go through such trouble for someone so far away if they didn't love them?

Sex...well, he can have plenty without having to cross an ocean.

Also: we are friends on facebook and he posts songs on my wall regardless of who may see it (note I'm also friends with his son and other family members on facebook. And sometimes when we're on the phone he will tell me to talk to his son just to say hi, I think he's trying to build a bridge between us, but still has failed to do what he should do).

Sorry if this is confusing. Not easy to resume almost 2 years and everything that comes with this situation. Thanks in advance