A friend tried to tell me tonight that my bf is controlling....

This is a letter I wrote, but haven't sent....

Hey, I don't know what exactly to think about tonight.

What you told me is kinda like one of Paul's buddies saying to him, "Hey, I think your girlfriend is a bitch and you should re-think being with her."

I know what he said upset you and he's sorry, yes I talked to him tonight even though you didn't want me to.

But the fact that you think he's controlling, but couldn't give me examples. I thought of some for you and can explain them, even though I shouldn't have to.

So I didn't want to watch Magic Mike at my house. I wasn't really comfortable watching the movie in the first place, I know...seems ironic since I watch porn occasionally, but to watch it with all you girls here and then have Paul come in and see what we were watching.....well we get crazy enough at it is, I didn't feel comfortable with the idea. Plus, I'm not really into those movies or guys or whatever in general. If I think a guys is good looking or hot, I usually just think it to myself and move on. I only have eyes for Paul now.

So seeing the movie once was enough for me. I didn't want to watch it again or in my house. It wasn't because he would be upset or whatever.

Or when I asked you and Chloe not to say anything when we went snowboarding and I spent most of the day with the guys because you and Chloe were taking lessons all day.

I'm very athletic and social and love snowboarding. Paul is not as athletic and would think I should be able to just go snowboarding on my own without needing company probably because he's jealous (regardless of if one was Chloe's husband and the other a friend of theirs).

I'm sure you can understand some jealously from a significant other.....in fact I know you understand it.

And honestly, I'm just as bad as he is! I've been jealous of you because of some of the things he's said! I should have just told him who I spent most of the day with, even though it wasn't like that, and even if it upset him.....I should've explained that we were just having fun snowboarding, but like I said, he's not athletic and wouldn't really get that and probably would have thought I should have hung out with you and Chloe at your lessons or snowboarded alone.

But again, it's my business if I want to tell him or not.

Yes, he is jealous and wants me to himself (like having a guy as a best friend like you do, that would not fly with him and honestly, I don't expect it to. I don't know many guys that could handle that).

Or the fact that I haven't told him I watch porn sometimes. My business. And I haven't for awhile and never plan to again.

Our sex life is great and I recently started being able to get off (that has not been an easy thing for me).

And I hope you understand that I am not nearly as outspoken as you are and maybe you see that as I'm being repressed or my man walks all over me, but honestly....I am very happy with my life and I guess I shouldn't keep little, stupid stuff from him just to avoid a fight, but I have.

I've gotten most of my skeletons out of the closet, you might think I don't have any, but it's my business whether I bring the little ones out and whether he and I choose to fight about it.

Yes, I suppose I'm keeping them secrets because I see them as potential fights.

Call it controlling, but I feel protected.

He wants me to be his and to be safe.

I hate to say it, but maybe if you toned down some things (I'm not saying your outspokenness or personality), but lifestyle you would attract the kind of guy you are looking for.

It was like you told me tonight....basically, "I'm jealous of your relationship so when Paul said you were better than me (which you said he should think I'm amazing, but he did hurt your feelings in the process of complimenting me....which he apologized for), but I don't know if you should be with him because he's controlling" it feels like you are happy for what we have, jealous of what we have, but also trying to ruin it....??? Or just looking out for me??? I don't know.

All I know is I am happy and we are happy, we both feel so luck to have one another and I can't imagine my life without him.

Call it controlling if you want, but I know what boundaries I have that make me feel safe and that we are both comfortable with, we make decisions together and talk things though.

Yes, he has changed my views/opinions of things before, but I feel it's for the better. Maybe you think boundaries are a bad thing and that is the "controlling" part, but I see it as healthy.

What do you think reader?

I realize I don't have to answer to anyone and she was over stepping her bounds.