7
   

Two "treatments" used in a row

 
 
Reply Sat 18 May, 2013 09:04 am

Of " its treatments, and the professionals who provide the treatments" is very clear. But two "treatments" have been used in a row and the writing looks not very good.
If I rewrite it as " its treatments, and the professionals who provide the them", it would look a bit ambiguous.
How to solve the dilemma?

Context:

Introduction by the column editors:

The current political controversy over parity for insurance coverage
of mental disorders is a consequence of the long-standing stigma against mental illness, its treatments, and the professionals who provide the treatments. Psychiatrists have traditionally been viewed by their colleagues in other fields of medicine as lacking the full credentials and abilities of other
practicing physicians. Psychiatric disorders have been caught up in the “mind” segment of the “mind-body” dualism still subscribed to by
most citizens, many physicians, and even many in the mental health
field itself. Few policy makers and
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 743 • Replies: 14
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View best answer, chosen by oristarA
BillRM
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Reply Sat 18 May, 2013 09:33 am
@oristarA,
"who provide the care" might be a way to go.
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 May, 2013 09:55 am
@BillRM,
BillRM wrote:

"who provide the care" might be a way to go.


Quite cool.
Thank you.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 May, 2013 01:28 pm
@oristarA,
Your two examples and Bill's are all good. There's a general feeling that we should not keep using the same word over and over and over, but I know of no such rule, and sometimes the repetition is to good effect. If the treatment you are speaking of involves a hair salon, and the professional is a professional hair dresser, you might very well keep hammering in the word professional.

Sometimes the repetition is good, and sometimes just tedious.
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 May, 2013 02:21 pm
Quote:
its treatments, and the professionals who provide the them


Just remove the incorrect 'the' and the wording is fine, and not at all ambiguous. 'Them' clearly refers to 'its treatments'.

its treatments, and the professionals who provide them.

You are correct to wish to avoid excessive repetition, and in this case, are justified.

My photographs, and the people who appear in them.

Its wheels, and the tyres on them. ("tires" is US spelling)

Your parents, and the gifts for them.



McTag
 
  1  
Reply Sat 18 May, 2013 03:24 pm
@contrex,

Agreeing with contrex

Quote:
...its treatments, and the professionals who provide them.


is the logical way to go.
0 Replies
 
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 May, 2013 12:44 am
@contrex,
contrex wrote:

Quote:
its treatments, and the professionals who provide the them


Just remove the incorrect 'the' and the wording is fine, and not at all ambiguous. 'Them' clearly refers to 'its treatments'.

its treatments, and the professionals who provide them.



Of course "the" was a typo. I was stunned as well to find such mistake there. Sometimes there is a ghost who occasionally comes out to haunt when we type.
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sun 19 May, 2013 01:06 am
@oristarA,
oristarA wrote:

there is a ghost who occasionally comes out to haunt when we type.


He visits me often, especially when I try to correct other people.
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 May, 2013 11:35 am
@contrex,
Quote:
You are correct to wish to avoid excessive repetition, and in this case, are justified.


The writer's intent is not something that you would be able to judge in this case, C. It's is not at all "correct" to avoid repetition. While English makes great, and common use of pronouns to avoid repetition, you have completely ignored Roger's comments, which point up that repetition is used for effect.

There's a general feeling that we should not keep using the same word over and over and over, but I know of no such rule, and sometimes the repetition is to good effect.

Yes, there is that knee jerk "general feeling". But there is that same knee jerk general feeling about a lot of English. That's what the silly peeves threads were all about.
Ticomaya
 
  2  
Reply Mon 20 May, 2013 11:47 am
@oristarA,
A lawyer might rewrite it by replacing "the treatments" with "same." ("... its treatments, and the professionals who provide same.")

That doesn't mean you should, of course. Who wants to sound like a lawyer?
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 May, 2013 12:46 pm
@JTT,
JTT wrote:
It's is not at all "correct" to avoid repetition.


It is always correct to avoid excessive repetition, which is what I wrote.

Quote:
you have completely ignored Roger's comments, which point up that repetition is used for effect.


I have not ignored them. This is not Churchill's "fight them on the beaches" speech, it's a bit of science journalism. It does not need any "effect".

Quote:
There's a general feeling that we should not keep using the same word over and over and over


There is a widespread feeling that writing should not tire the reader.

Quote:
but I know of no such rule


That's because there is no such 'rule'. Nobody said there was. Don't set up a straw man.

Quote:
sometimes the repetition is to good effect.


This is not one of those times.





roger
 
  2  
Reply Mon 20 May, 2013 01:34 pm
@contrex,
Swell. I think you've quoted everything but this.

roger wrote:

Sometimes the repetition is good, and sometimes just tedious.
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 May, 2013 01:41 pm
@contrex,
Quote:
It is always correct to avoid excessive repetition, which is what I wrote.


"excessive repetition" does not apply to this situation.

Quote:
This is not Churchill's "fight them on the beaches" speech, it's a bit of science journalism. It does not need any "effect".


That's hardly your choice to make given that you didn't write the article.

Quote:
There is a widespread feeling that writing should not tire the reader.


I know. There's also a widespread feeling about split infinitives and restrictive vs nonrestrictive pronouns and the subjunctive and can vs may and ... .

Quote:
That's because there is no such 'rule'. Nobody said there was. Don't set up a straw man.


Quote:
There is a widespread feeling that writing should not tire the reader.


What was that you were saying about a straw man?
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Mon 20 May, 2013 01:42 pm
@roger,
roger wrote:

Swell. I think you've quoted everything but this.

roger wrote:

Sometimes the repetition is good, and sometimes just tedious.



Roger, I would say that we are in complete accord. JTT is just spouting his ADD inspired bullshit, as usual.


JTT
 
  0  
Reply Mon 20 May, 2013 02:21 pm
@contrex,
Being in complete accord with Roger is hardly a good thing, C. He shows flashes of brilliance WHEN he actually takes time to think.

I have to note, aaaaagain, your great reluctance to actually address the specific language issues.
0 Replies
 
 

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