i need to get this off my chest!any comment?please help!

i feel a bit stupid writing this but i've gotta get it off my chest i don't know why i can't stop thinking about him maybe it's because he's really successeful and i look up to him,maybe because we share the same point of view about many issues, maybe because we have a very strong, maybe because he knows way more than i do or maybe it's just chemistry.Today we were in class and our professor asked about the name of the instructor of a certain suject (the name of this professor i kinda like) it never happened to me when mentioning him but today my hart was beating really fast when mentioning his name.Surprisingly when i got out of class i glanced at him. i didn't even know he works today! he's no oil painting but today he looked stunning( i thought he looked very good but my heart wasn't beating fast or anything except from that i didn't want him to see me cuz i wasn't looking good at al.l well...that's what i always think about myself :p ).i'm sure he didn't see me but i did.point is that i hate feeling this way about him.i know i'm not supposed to do this but i can't help it.when we meet i feel nothing towards him. i act very professionally but once the course's done i just can't help but think about him not in a physical way but he's always on my mine. i always have so much to do but he's always on my mind :/ .Tbh at first i used to hate him and he didn't like me too because he thought i was arrogant,and that i think i'm very smart... but when he found out that i'm not like that he started treating me in a really nice way and that is what makes it even worse.Nothing happens in class unless i agree on it otherwise he'll change it and he always gives me what i want(for ex if i and another student choose to work on the same topic he neglects the other student and gives me what i want),he always asks me to work on topics even though i never volounteer while there are many others who wanna do it and keep raising their hands but he always picks me.sometimes i'm like : well...maybe i'm his fav student that's why but even if i were his fav student why would he always neglect others and give me what i want?I forgot to mention sth : at first he used to always look at me while explaining,right after he cracks a joke or make a suggestion but one day he started totallty ignoring me,he didn't look at me even once but kept giving me what i want.i dunno i'm confused but it would be flattering if he has a crush on me even though i know i can't have a relationship with him...i believe that's it for this story i just wanted to get these words/thoughts off my chest cuz i have nobody who would listen to and not judge me.