Can you remain friends after an affair?

Reply Fri 7 Nov, 2014 01:50 pm
Germlat wrote:

It's not a matter of Americanism in my opinion. Maybe Canadian unfaithful men know how to weather the storm. But--there's nothing wrong with creating a distance when what you need is to dissociate to obtain clarity. I had no idea clarity was granted with nationality .
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Reply Wed 20 May, 2015 01:49 pm
I am facing the end of a 3 year affair with a married man that has one grown child that is married with children. He has been married for 44 years. I am unmarried and 16 years younger than he is. He is a good and kind person and I trust that he loves me as he has always not only said so, but shown me in many ways. I am deeply in love with him. Even being told by him that it would one day end, as he would retire and stop commuting to the town I live in, I never truly grasped that this would happen. It's five months away and due to my emotional outburst about this upcoming date, he decided it was best to end it now. I'm devastated, feel empty and don't quite know what to do with my heart. Men out there.....why did he choose his wife over me? Why did he get involved in the first place? I have never know of him to lie to me, I find him to be quite honest and upfront....he says that I am the only woman he has ever had an affair with....that I am truly the love of his life. WHY THEN?
Reply Wed 20 May, 2015 02:01 pm
Because I get the feeling he was lying before.

And it'll likely be easier for you if you start thinking that way.

At least he was upfront enough with you to tell you it would not be forever, and he did you a kindness to end it early.

You need counseling. Seriously. You need to talk to an impartial professional about how this is making you feel. And, in time, talk about why you spent 3 years tilting at windmills with someone you could never be with. Why you settled for being second best and part-time. Why you didn't or couldn't or were afraid of going out into the dating world and finding someone who could be yours 24/7.
Reply Wed 20 May, 2015 02:09 pm
We were only friends the first year....things changed, we both fell in love with each other. We were just the perfect fit, with of course the exception of his status. I guess, in the back of my mind, over time, I thought he would want me 24/7.
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Reply Mon 4 Sep, 2017 09:26 pm
Hi I've been going through hell. My boyfriend laid to me for 3 years. After almost 2 years he told me his ex lives in his basement. Then we went on vacation and she called me. She harassed me. He kept telling me he was divorced! I guess I wanted to believe him especially since we work together. Anyhow, on our 3rd anniversary I told him I couldn't take it anymore since he told me they were going on a family vacation. He agreed that it's maybe for the best. It's been 1 month since the breakup and he's still texts me every day. We still do things together. He is presently on vacation with his family and texts me every single day. I don't understand why I still answer and I still find it so hard to let go. I am hurting so bad but I'm scared not to have him in my life.
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Reply Fri 19 Jan, 2018 03:26 pm
I am the wife having to deal with women like you... It hurts deeply and why not find an unmarried man.
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