He wants kids and I'm not sure

Ah, the child question.

It often is a dealbreaker, so recognize that.

Adoption and fostering are noble and wonderful sentiments, but IMO they shouldn't be done for the sake of compromising with a mate or a future mate. That's not fair to the child(ren).

Interesting that he essentially made the creation of biological children a more or less requirement. I assume you convinced him that, well, biology doesn't always work. After all, would he leave you if cancer treatments left you without ovaries, or without a uterus? That happens, and it can happen to women as young as you are. Would he find it impossible to live in a world where, maybe, he has a low sperm count or such a delicate vas deferens blockage that the issue would be on his end? I doubt it.

Hence adoption is on the table. Good. I think.

Adoption these days means a LONG process. It is not likely to mean a tiny infant, nor is it likely to mean a child who is not of mixed race, and it might mean a child with special needs, which is anything from deafness to autism to fetal alcohol syndrome to cerebral palsy or a thousand other things. Or it means heading out of the country, to China, or the Ukraine, etc. Big $$ no matter what. And if that is what you want, and you are both into it, then that's wonderful, and I wish you all the luck and joy in the world.

If it's half-hearted, if it's a compromise you both hate, well, I think you might know where I'm going with this.

So ask yourself - how do I really feel about this? What's my real motivation here?

Oh, and one other thing - there are men out there who don't want children. I married one.