Regaining emotional stability in a foreign country after threatened by relatives during fracture

Hi,

I am an Indian student, 23 years old in US, who had a severe fracture 3.5 months back and was mistreated by close relatives in US when i decided to stay with them for sometime and initially they agreed. They abused me, insulted me and gave life threats before coming over there and i eventually cancelled the plan. More details can be found on the link below, but my question is not related to that incident again:

http://able2know.org/topic/208816-1

Even my cousin who came here for studies too did not came to see me during my surgeries and after which hurt me as i had always helped him a lot (he just lives at 4 hours drive!).


Now here is where my initial pain starts. They relatives which i mentioned earlier consists of a nasty cousin of mine, who has a 12 year old son (supposed to be my nephew). Me and my nephew had been really close (at least me).

************************ 1 ***************
When he was 8, he visited India for first time with his family and was too much fond of me and always used to jump around me. He requested a lot to his parents to take me on their 10 days family tour, and i agreed after a lot of persuasion even when i had work.

During that time, i developed a lot of affection for the boy. Mainly because i was a little introvert by nature, little depressed due to some reasons and he was jumping around me all the time. I started to cry when he left (i know male don't cry but i did

************ 2 *****************

I came to US for studies in Jan 2012 and met him again in Summer 2012 when he was 11. I stayed at my aunt's house when i came to his city and he came to stay with me for that duration. He really gave me a good time, played games with me, pranks, jokes, we talked a lot, he took me for tour of some places and had a good time. On my last day, when his parents wanted to take back home to his cousin's B'day party, he started to cry and said he wanted to stay with me and didn't go.

My happy life changed in January 2013 when i fell and i badly broke my ankle. Everyone deserted me, friends, relatives in a foreign country where i cannot call anyone my own and cannot travel back home due to medical condition.

The boy's mother insulted me and my relation completely broke up with their family. But i don't feel bad about others but this 12 year old boy. He never cared to call me up and ask how was I. I never forgot his birthday, i always called him. I am not hurt deeply of how all people i knew treated me like scum in this difficult time, but hurt deeply thinking of him.

Sometimes i feel their entire family is like that, who can take our favors and love but cannot return it (including him). The boy always used me as a tool of entertainment, fun whenever he was alone and bored and disposed me when he had friends of his own. Then i think of ** 1 ** and ** 2 ** (see above) and forced to re-think if what i think is true or not. What is reality? If his parents even told him that something happened to me?


Sometimes i think he is still a kid (but isn't 12 a little old?) and might not know my condition. But i terribly loved him and cared for him, and now i feel heartbroken and as if i should never love or care for anyone in this world? I had even seen him 3-4 times in my dreams, growing up as i don't think i would ever seen my most affectionate kid again.

I do not want to keep any relation with him, as i had lot of expectation from my family and myself, and i don't want emotions to mess my life at least for 2-3 years. But i don't know how to break the thread of this seemingly one side affection.

With all my relatives and friends shown their true color, i feel completely alone in this world. I am really ambitious student, but all these unfortunate events have extinguished the spark in me.

Please help by commenting on it.

Thank You