help me check a thank-you letter

Dear Sir or Madam:
Zia this is confusing because it seems to imply that Susie is two people. I might have writ: My sincere thanks to Susan Smith


I had booked two tickets for December 31: your flight 222 to Hongkong and English air flight 333 from there to Bombay. Due to bad weather (Okay but why even mention the reason), however, the first was delayed two hours and so I would miss my flight to Bombay


When I explained my problem to Ms Smith she switched me to an earlier flight so I arrived at Hongkong in time for that second boarding. Please convey my appreciation

The praise phrase is tautological while the reward request is presumptive. I'd have bleeped 'em both

In our collo has religious conno

I'd have "Yours truly", "Yours with many thanks", or just "Yours"

Forgive the alliterations, couldn't resist

San
Pale Dale

Hi Dal,
I am writing a paper in English. Could you proofread it for me and make it more natural and native-like?

The following is my abstract section:
Over the past three decades, many experts and scholars abroad and at home have conducted numerous researches into college students’ use of vocabulary learning strategies.This study used a questionnaire to investigate 27 excellent pupils’ use of the vocabulary learning strategies in a primary school in Wuhan to learn words in PEP Textbook 5A. The results revealed that the rank of most-to-least frequently used strategies were cognitive, social, memory, determimation, and metacognitive strategies. In cognitive strategy category, verbal and written repetition strategies were used most frequently and taking notes in class was least frequently used. In social strategy category, asking classmates most and teacher’s checking least. In memory strategy category, studing the spelling or sound most and connecting a word with personal experience least.
The following is my introduction section:
Given the significance of vocabulary to learning a language, research into vocabulary learning strategies has been of considerable value since 1970s (Brown, Thomas S. ＆ Fred L. Perry, JR.,1991: 656), and from then on, numerous studies concerning this subject sprang up (Crow, J. T., & Quigley, J. R, 1985; Oxford, R., 1990; 吴霞, 王蔷, 1998).
In China, English studying is compulsory through Grade Three to Grade Six in primary schools, and it is paid full attention by teachers and most of parents, even the pupils themselves. Some pupils not only learn English at school, but also attend some English courses after school to improve English speaking ability or develop vocabulary. They have to do a lot of homework every night and go to sleep very late.
One of our teaching goals is to assist students in learning to learn in which learning strategies play an important role. By learning the strategies, students can learn more effectively and autonomically, and do not need to register for many English courses after school.
In light of this, this study aims to find out the most frequently used strategies used by 27 excellent pupils in Grade 3 in a primary school in Wuhan, and to suggest the useful and effective strategies in vocabulary learning for more pupils.
Answers to the following questions will be addressed in this study:
1) Of the all of the strategies, which strategies are most frequently used among the 27 pupils?
2) In each strategy category, which strategies are most frequently used among the 27 pupils?
3) What strategies do the 27 pupils use to learn new words in PEP Textbook 5A?
The results, on the one hand, can be employed by pupils to learn words, and on the other hand, the results can facilitate EFL teachers to develop pupils’ consciousness of strategies when they are young .

My abject apologies Zia but I have to bow out. Getting involved with a job of that length would take a week, while at 82 I'm advised by my nephrologist that at 82-1/2 I have only 4-1/2 years left

Compared to typical esl your composition is of excellent quality, while I'm impressed by your determination

If you don't achieve further response it's because most of us resent any request that would seem to suggest someone's homework assignment. However it might help ever-so-slightly, if you were to insert a carriage return between paras

For what it's worth however, almost all esl tends overly wordy



=

In China, English is compulsory in grades 3-6, acknowledged (sanctioned, endorsed, welcomed) by teachers and most parents, even the pupils themselves, some of whom also attend English courses after school.

Thank you for your kind help.
I am sorry to hear you are in poor health, and I did not know you were 82. Sorry again.
I want to publis this paper in an international journal, if it is published, I will add your name to it definitely. But as an ESL learner, I think my language maybe Chinglish. You are kind and reply my post every time, so I send it to you for polishing.
Sorry for bothering you.

Not at all, for what it's worth, not an awful lot

Thank you for your sympathy but forgive me, I was being facetious. At my age I'm in magnificent health

I feel honored

To the contrary, your efforts are outstanding

No apologies required

If there's another passage you'd particularly like to address please let us know