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Should I contact her myself?

 
 
Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2013 09:12 am
I met a girl at my friend's party. She was introduced to me as a girlfriend of my friend's friend. She is the one I've been looking for last 4,5 years. Cute and humble; the perfect combination. I'm pretty sure she was checking me out quite often. But few days later, I got aware of that they were broke up. Her parents wouldn't allow her to be friends with her boyfriend. So I asked from my friend that whether I should go for her, if they are completely done with it. But I noticed my friend is not very enthusiastic about it. He said they are still pretty much in love with each other. If so I don't wanna ruin things as a jackass. But at the same time I don't wanna lose her. I think my friend just trying not to have awkward relationships around himself.
 
View best answer, chosen by shelljon
Ragman
 
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Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2013 10:54 am
@shelljon,
I'm guessing you're from a different country and I'm perceiving that we might have some cultural differences. However, regardless of that, I'd advise letting some time go by while the dust settles with their relationship. Particularly because she cares about her ex and vice versa. The fact that she's in this tender emotional state AND her parents were the catalysts for the breakup .... this means you should keep out of it totally and just be friendly.

Your comment about you 'looking at her for 4.5 yrs.' and you think that she's been checking you is not relevant. It is unclear what these looks mean. What does matter more is being respectful of her feelings and her need to recover from the breakup.

You can't lose someone you never had...as her heart is already involved with someone else - no matter whether or not their relationship has been affected by parental intervention.

shelljon
 
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Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2013 11:05 am
@Ragman,
I miswrote that. She is the type of girl I've been looking for over those years. She was something else. You are right. She may still have feelings for him.
Ragman
  Selected Answer
 
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Reply Thu 25 Apr, 2013 03:52 pm
@shelljon,
My advice is be sympathetic and keep a friendly distance.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Fri 26 Apr, 2013 07:19 am
I disagree. Contact her and ask her for lunch - as a friend.

You will know for sure if 1) she is available and 2) if she is still trying to work things out with former BF.

Mame
 
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Reply Fri 26 Apr, 2013 07:30 am
@PUNKEY,
I disagree with you. I think Ragman's answer is both sensitive and rational. Usually people don't get over breakups that easily/quickly and it's healthier for all if she's able to process the breakup without outside influences (another suitor). It'd be crass for him to approach her now.
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Fri 26 Apr, 2013 05:47 pm
@Mame,
You guys are all younger than me. I can't wait around much any more.

I still say he can ask her out for lunch as a new friend. Her answer will let him know how she feels.

No sense in all of us trying to guess what's in her head.
Mame
 
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Reply Fri 26 Apr, 2013 11:48 pm
@PUNKEY,
How do you know we're younger than you?! How old are you anyway? Is your middle name Methuselah?
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