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How can I overcome my shyness around guys?

 
 
Reply Sun 21 Apr, 2013 11:02 am
I was always really tall in elementary school. Taller than all the guys and I was a bit of a tomboy so I only wore baggy jeans and sweaters. I would always read the Garfield comics in school library and people thought I was weird. I was skinny and awkward and EXTREMELY shy. I couldn’t talk to boys if my life depended on it. Later I found out the boys used to call me buck tooth girl behind my back.

I’m 18 now. I’ve started working out, got braces, I’ve grown into my height (5’7” :]), have curves, wear makeup, do my hair, changed my wardrobe and everything changes. Guys stare at me but I don’t know if they’re thinking I’m cute or if they can tell I’m just pretending to be a pretty girl when in reality I’m not. I never believe a cute guy would want anything to do with me because he can have any girl he wants. Why would he settle for someone like me? I’m scared when they start talking to me they are going to realize how weird and awkward I am and leave. I come across as a very different girl in public and at home.

I can’t talk to guys clearly and I feel like I come across as rude or judgmental when in actuality I’m so embarrassed I practically run away. I don’t have a single guy friend and haven’t had a boyfriend before. Everyone says it should be easy for me to talk to guys because I play video games and we’d have something in common, but I can’t get past my insecurities.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I’m tired of running away.
 
Ceili
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Apr, 2013 11:33 am
You know guys are just people with deeper voices. They either love or hate pizza. Don't define yourself by your past, but rather who you are today. If you like yourself, people will be drawn to you. Conversations are easier with some people than they are with others, so don't beat yourself up if you can't find anything to say. Find things you enjoy and people who enjoy those activities or interests and you will naturally start talking. Quit worrying about what other people think about you. If they like you they'll show interest, if they don't C'est la vie. Life goes on. There are a couple billion other persons out there who you might click with.
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jespah
 
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Reply Sun 21 Apr, 2013 11:34 am
@SilentlyFading,
I remember 18 as being awkward, too (I'm 50). So understand that some of that is kinda normal.

A few ways to get more confidence -
* do things you're good at. Whatever they are. Can you bake? Paint? Square dance? Jump rope? I dunno. But positive experiences help.
* consider a class in either acting or public speaking. These can help with shyness and confidence issues. You will likely never be on Broadway or address an audience of 100,000, but you may find it's easier to talk to people.
* take the initiative in relationships and friendships. Waiting around for a guy to notice or be interested is so nineteenth century. If you approach people, you will know what they are thinking, yes? And BTW, there may be guys who you think are awesome who are a bit shy around you.

Go and be awesome.
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PUNKEY
 
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Reply Sun 21 Apr, 2013 01:39 pm
There's nothing wrong with being shy or standing back. Some guys even like that.

I am guessing you don't have brothers. So you just haven't had the practice of being around guys.

I suggest that you join a club or group where you can talk with just a few guys and build up a friendship, first. Then you won't be so uncomfortable around them.

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Region Philbis
 
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Reply Sun 21 Apr, 2013 04:54 pm
@SilentlyFading,
Quote:
Guys stare at me but I don’t know if they’re thinking I’m cute
they think you're cute...
Quote:
or if they can tell I’m just pretending to be a pretty girl when in reality I’m not.
no guy has ever done this in the history of guys checking out girls...
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yashi
 
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Reply Thu 27 Jun, 2013 07:37 am
@SilentlyFading,
It's not good of you to think like this. Everybody has his own personality. Why are you underestimating yourself this much? Past is gone so just forget that. Talk to people because without talking how can you judge what they are thinking about you? Meet people and be confident because you are a beautiful girl with pure heart. No matter what others say just believe in yourself and things will be alright.
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