@oralloy,
Quote:You cannot provide any motivation for trying to outlaw pistol grips
It's possible that he's read a story in the Reader's Digest that I recall seeing some time ago. Here's an excerpt:
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"Whoa, slow down there, MJ. Why the hell you out of breath?"
"I just came from the other side of the hill, and he's found our trail. We've gotta move."
"Are you sure it's him?"
"Yeah, I was close enough to see his face with the binoculars. It's him alright. And he has a rifle. We gotta move!"
"Not so fast, MJ. Maybe he does have a rifle, but so do we."
"Yeah, but . . ."
"But what? Spit it out man."
"But his rifle has a--it has a--"
"Just fuckin' say it."
"It's got a goddam pistol grip!"
InfraBlue spit the coffee in his mouth out onto the ground, and without wiping his chin, turned and locked eyes with MJ. "****!" he said, the word echoing off the distant canyon wall. "Are you absolutely certain it has a pistol grip?"
"I'm telling you I saw it. It was as clear as that pimple on your forehead." An awkward silence followed. "Aw InfraBlue, I didn't mean to--"
"Didn't mean to what, MJ?"
"I just spoke without thinking, man. I'm sorry. That was just the stress talking."
"Still hurtful, MJ, and totally uncalled for."
"You're right. You're right. Hell, the truth is, it doesn't look even half as big as it did yesterday."
"Thanks. I've been drinking lots of water and I think that's what's making the difference. Anyway, what the hell we gonna do?"
"We could just run like hell."
"Nope. I heard tell that anyone carrying a rifle with a pistol grip can run faster and jump higher than people without one."
"I thought that was only true about PF Flyers."
"It was, until some son of a bitch invented the pistol grip."
After a half minute of silence, InfraBlue said, "Okay, first thing we do is not panic."
"Not panic?" MJ said, not believing what he had just heard. "Did you not just say that his rifle has a pistol grip? And what if that ******'s wearing PF Flyers, too?"
"Yeah I heard ya, but just hear me out. I'm sure that if I can get close enough to his camp, I can get a shot at his rifle and take out the pistol grip. Then the odds would be even."
"Say, that's not a bad idea. Okay then, why don't you--hey, wait a minute. If you can get close enough to take out the rifle's pistol grip, why don't you just put a bullet in the guy's head?"
"Hmmm. Ya know, that sounds crazy enough that it might just work."
"I know, right? I mean, that rifle of his sure ain't gonna get up and shoot at us all by itself. Right?"
"I wouldn't think so. But then again, it does have a pistol grip, and that being the case, there's just no tellin'. I've heard things."
"Alright then, shoot him in the head, and if that rifle of his gives us any trouble after that, well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
"Hey! I got a better idea. I'll put a bullet in his head, AND take out that rifle's pistol grip."
"Goddam, MJ, you're a fuckin' genius."
"Well I certainly do have my moments."