Pregnant relationship help

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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 13 months. He's 2 years younger than me. When we started dating he was very needy and clingy to me. Always needed me to remind him how much I loved him. When we'd been together for 6 months I got pregnant. I had just graduated high school so I had left all my friends. I finished my first semester of college and then my family decided it'd be easier for me to take a semester off for the end of my pregnancy. I'm now almost 8 months pregnant and since becoming pregnant I've gotten really attached to my boyfriend. I think mostly because I'm not around any of my friends anymore and because I'm pregnant I don't go out to do much! My boyfriend loves me a lot. He tells me and he loves our son. But told me he needs some space from me texting him all the time. So I try to just text him once in the morning to say have a good day and then at night before bed. He's going through a lot I know with the pressure of being a father and school and his parents always on him he was getting very depressed. He had started smoking pot and when I found out he wrote me a long letter saying how he didn't want to do it anymore. And would stop for his son and me. And I believe him but I do have some trust issues. But I need help on giving him space. It's hard to not talk to him all day long. Plus all my friends are gone because they're still in college. I've tried staying around family, and getting more involved with church, but my mind keeps going back to him. "Where is he? What is he doing? Is he forgetting me?" What should I do?

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 1,218 • Replies: 8

[+3] - Butrflynet - 04/18/2013Why not use your time preparing for the arrival of your child? Do you have a nursery area set up? Have you been stocking up on diapers and supplies you'll need? Have you had any photos taken...

@hannxxx,

Why not use your time preparing for the arrival of your child?

Do you have a nursery area set up? Have you been stocking up on diapers and supplies you'll need? Have you had any photos taken to document the progress of your pregnancy?

Are you two talking about getting married in the future? If so, you could start making plans for that.

You've got a lot of decisions and plans to make for your immediate future. Now would be a good time to put some energy into thinking about your options.

Have you been going to any birthing classes? If not, now would be a good time for that.

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@Butrflynet,

Plus there should be visits to the doctor - every week at this point in time, yes?

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@jespah,

Yes I'm going to the doctor more often now. We just broke up this morning. And so this time I guess no matter how hard it is I'm just going to leave him alone. He says he just wants to be alone for a while without a girl. And that if he wanted a girl it would be me. I know his family is telling him his life is over and he's tied down so I'm sure that scares him. But I have to back off no matter how hard it is, or any chance of us ever getting back together will be doomed!!
Wish I would have realized this 2 months ago.

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@hannxxx,

or seven?

growing up is hard to do.

good luck to you and your son...

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Why have you stopped going to school? Surely there are some community colleges or on-line classes that you could be taking during this time.

Your situation is a lot what I went through (many years ago) . I found out I was PG my second semester of college, first year. I went to college year round, for 6 years to get my BA degree. I had children during that time. I took two classes per semester and also worked part time.

My folks helped when I was PG with the first one, my boyfriend was in the Marines. He got home and we married and I had another child two years later.

The big difference was that the baby's father stepped up, helped me to get settled in an apartment, and then we got married, even though he was in another state finishing the Marine Corps commitment.

It does not sound like this is true with your boyfriend. Otherwise, he would be by your side or working to establish a home for you and his child.

I am sorry to tell you this, but you need to turn to yourself and get yourself ready for the future. He doesn't sound like he is ready to do what he should. He is probably just too young and not ready to be a father and husband. It even sounds like his own family is not able to convince him of his responsibilities.

Look inward, and then get a plan for YOUR future. If he comes around, then you can decide if that's the kind of man you want to be with. Right now, he has abandoned you at your highest time of need.

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@PUNKEY,

I stopped going to college because I was in a Christian college and wasn't allowed to return. But I took a nursing class a month or so ago and after I have my son I'm going to stay home with him for a semester and then start nursing school the second semester.
He broke up with me and won't really give me a clear reason, do you think it's because he's scared of being a father? Or maybe being around him scares him a little bit?

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@hannxxx,

That's a tough one. You feel alone and pregnant, not to mention all of the hormones. But it does sound like your boyfriend has been through a lot, maybe you should cut him some slack and focus on the baby instead. Read a few parenting books, go to some classes, try and five your bf some space and he will come back to you when he can.

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@hannxxx,

Like Punkey said, you could take online classes or perhaps community college. There are ways to assure that your education isn't delayed, despite what your college has decided should happen in this instance.

Whatever reason he broke up with you - does it really, truly matter right now?

Your focus should be your baby and your future. And, BTW, just because you're broken up does not mean that your boyfriend is off the hook financially. Babies still need food, medicine and diapers, regardless of whether their parents are together romantically.

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