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I think my best friend is trying to make me fat (fattER at this point...)! What should I do??!!!

 
 
Reply Tue 16 Apr, 2013 09:21 pm
In about August,
I was telling my best friend about how I didn’t eat at lunch everyday and how I felt like crap. He told me to eat so I wouldn’t feel sick…he’s been reminding me to eat lunch everyday since then and he Has been right. However, in the weeks that have gone by, at least once a week he’s brought me something sweet and delicious to pretty much bribe me to eat. Like about the third week after all of that, he brought me a cupcake two days in a row. The following week, he brought me a muffin bigger than my hand! Whatever he brings me seems to get more and more fattening as the weeks go by, and he brings more each week too. A couple weekends after that, he was texting me to eat during the weekend. Well, I did, and that Sunday, I ate so much that I could barely move! It was then that I noticed my once small tummy was a bit bigger and softer! D: It’s been several months, and he’s still bringing me food every day! With my kind nature, I’ve not been able to refuse the food once! Well, plus he brings the tastiest (but unfortunately most fattening) food, and my appetite has gotten MUCH bigger! Before this whole thing, I was about 115 pounds…Now I’m teetering on the 200 pound mark, at 196 pounds to be precise, and still getting fatter! Sad As much as I’d love to stop this and lose all of the weight, my appetite is so big now that I can’t even control how much I eat anymore. Every time I eat, I become extremely greedy, eat everything I have, and then proceed to ask my friends or family members for anything they’re not going to finish. I probably could have stopped this earlier and stayed skinny, but I got lazy and now I'm fat. Sad I want to lose the weight, but my friend is the first issue here... I know my best friend has a "thing" for fat girls, so I’m wondering if my best friend is purposefully trying to fatten me up, or if it’s just coincidence and he doesn’t realize it. What should I do? And please, no stupid answers that are insulting either. If you’re going to be mean, don’t give me an answer, because I don’t want it. This is a legitimate question and issue that I’m having!
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 08:48 am
Stop blaming your friend for your behavior.

You acted like you wanted to be fattened up, and he did it.

If you don't like yourself now, you know how to reverse your weight.

jespah
 
  5  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 09:19 am
@Savhanna Millington,
One thing I have learned from years of dieting is that there are people who will, consciously or not, try to sabotage things.

Here are a few things you can do.
* Say no to whatever this guy brings you.
* Give it to someone else, or leave it in the break room for all to enjoy.
* Eat your own lunch in front of him and then tell him you're too full for whatever.
* Go out to eat and don't deal with him at all.
* Explain to him that you are eating just fine and don't need "help", and he should stop buying fattening crap for you. If he wants to buy you something, tell him to save the $$ he'd pay for the muffins and whatnot and save it in a jar. At the end of a month, have him cut a check for that amount to your favorite charity.
Savhanna Millington
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 10:01 am
@jespah,
While I appreciate the answer, keep in mind that I'm in High School...Still, I definitely appreciate the actual answer. Smile
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 10:03 am
@Savhanna Millington,
Then you can still tell him no.

And tell him no as many times as you need to. You need to be assertive about this; this is your body we are talking about, and your health. There is nothing about being in High School that says you cannot say no, or that you cannot have control over what happens to you. And I am not just talking about food.
0 Replies
 
Savhanna Millington
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 10:03 am
@PUNKEY,
Did you read my entire question? I'm not "blaming" my friend. I have fault in this too, but your answer did not answer my question at all. Furthermore, if I acted like I wanted to be fattened up, it was unintentional and I didn't want to be.
engineer
 
  4  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 10:07 am
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

One thing I have learned from years of dieting is that there are people who will, consciously or not, try to sabotage things.

This is a key point. The world in general doesn't care about your diet. There will be donuts at work, candy in dishes, desserts at meetings, seconds at dinner, etc. You have to have the ability to say no if that is what you want. You could also point out to your friend that giving you apples and oranges is better than giving you cupcakes and muffins.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 04:29 pm
@Savhanna Millington,
Which question? Is it that you wonder if your friend is doing this on purpose? Yes, he bloody well is, and you know it. He's bringing you fatty foods, so it's pretty obvious. As for why he's doing it, how the hell would we know?

Don't be so rude and dismissive when someone takes the time to give you a rational, well thought out answer, Missy.

You are responsible for the extra 80 lbs you've put on, and only you. If he'd brought me stuff like that, I'd have said No Thanks!!
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 05:46 pm
@Savhanna Millington,
You could aim for a healthy weight.

Diet is such a bad word :
- eat to be healthy (which means you need to know how much and what to eat to be healthy, and also that you know what a healthy weight is)
- exercise to help you achieve a healthy weight

One of the great things about food is that it is mathematical :
- if energy is is greater than energy out - you gain weight
- if energy out is greater than energy in - you lose weight

No amount of 'scientific excuses' will ever change that.

It's just a matter of remembering to do it in a healthy way.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 05:50 pm
@vikorr,
I'm not so interested in the little kind flower's taking of sweets over time as I am worried that she is so suggestible.

She sounds very protected from the world out there and needs to get a grasp on who she is, herself. Soon.
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Apr, 2013 10:53 pm
@ossobuco,
You did notice that I made no mention regarding eating sweets? Very Happy

There's nothing wrong with eating sweets - in moderation and balance.

She does sound rather suggestible. She's also blaming others for her eating habits (which integrates with being suggestible)...and younger people have always been more suggestible.
0 Replies
 
FOUND SOUL
 
  2  
Reply Thu 18 Apr, 2013 05:24 pm
@Savhanna Millington,
Quote:
I was telling my best friend about how I didn’t eat at lunch everyday and how I felt like crap. He told me to eat so I wouldn’t feel sick…he’s been reminding me to eat lunch everyday since then and he Has been right


Quote:
Whatever he brings me seems to get more and more fattening as the weeks go by, and he brings more each week too. A couple weekends after that, he was texting me to eat during the weekend.


Quote:
I know my best friend has a "thing" for fat girls


I'm trying to ascertain something... The guy is your best friend. You were comfortable with your weight, now you are not. Your best friend "loves bigger girls"...

Did you eat because you like him ? Did he give you fatenning food because he wanted you to look like the "girl" he wants, given he likes everything else about you?

Sounds that way to me.

Jespah has given excellent advice, this is now up to you...

0 Replies
 
lilydabest
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Dec, 2016 09:16 pm
@Savhanna Millington,
How are things looking for you now?

It's been a few years. Did you end up with your friend?

Did you lose the weight, stay the same, or get fatter?

I'm sure everyone is wondering.
0 Replies
 
Megantronus
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Dec, 2016 10:23 pm
@Savhanna Millington,
I don't think there's anything better you can do than to sit him down, have a serious talk, and gently ask him if he's aware of how fatty the food he's bringing you is, and how much that hurts you. Just have a heart-to-heart, and thank him for looking out for you (I think he's got good intentions, just may be a little unaware), but insist that if he wants to help you, he should bring you healthy food, or nothing at all. (Haha, once again, to not come across as too harsh, thank him for his thoughtfulness.)
0 Replies
 
KittyMeowMeow
 
  1  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 06:04 pm
@Savhanna Millington,
Refuse the food he's bringing you. Instead try bringing a salad or a heathy lunch. The stuff he's bringing you is going to give you health issues. If he really cares for you he'll be glad you're eating healthily instead of eating sweets or not at all.
ossobucotemp
 
  2  
Reply Fri 27 Jan, 2017 10:02 pm
@KittyMeowMeow,
Try reading the dates when posters posted.
0 Replies
 
 

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