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Relationship advice please!! (It's long but I really need the help)

 
 
KayT
 
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 07:27 am
I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and for those 3 years I have always gotten butterflies just looking at him and thinking about him but 2 days ago we got into a fight and now that's changed. 2 days ago we got into a fight and he threatened to kick me out, so, I left. (Note: when we fight we always do and say things we don't mean which I know isn't great but ill get to that later) I brought all my stuff to my friends house and am now staying here. We got together yesterday to discus getting back together and setting some ground rules while promising to communicate better. So we are now back together (I am at my friends right now so I can bring my stuff home tomorrow) but all the excitement and happiness I get looking at him isn't there. I noticed it last night and had an anxiety attack about it and woke him up and talked to him about it. He said he's willing to stay with me and try to work it out. I don't want to leave him, I want to be with him forever. Is it possible I'm just feeling this way because subconsciously I'm more mad than I think I am? This has happened once before earlier in our relationship when we hit a rough patch and I had left him for another person. But after a few days all the butterflies came back and I felt like an idiot for even feeling that way. Do you think the butterflies will come back? Please please please help me. I know I still love him.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 07:30 am
@KayT,
Is that how you are measuring this relationship?? With butterflies??

How about trust, reliability, maturity, love?

You need to settle down and take a good look at this relationship.

Eventually, butterflies take off, you know. Then what's left?
KayT
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 07:39 am
@PUNKEY,
No no no haha I still love him, trust him and respect him. I still want to be with him it's just that literally these feelings vanished overnight after that fight. I still get happy looking at him but it's not as intense as it was before. I think I just realised that I CAN live without him (which I always thought was impossible) & since I never thought that way I guess it kind of scared me. Is that possible ? (I'm really attached .... Like a lot )
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Apr, 2013 09:18 am
@KayT,
You said:
Quote:
trust him and respect him


Why would you still trust him? He booted you out. You're not even admitting that the relationship is causing you too much pain. Gather up your self-esteem.

Frankly, you both sound a bit too immature to handle living together. Find a different living situation that is more secure...and not with him.
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