I can’t tell if I’m scared or comfortable

Reply Thu 1 Nov, 2018 06:05 pm
Here’s the low-down:

Context: I’ve been with a man for about 6-7 months.

Myself: I’m a very passionate individual (and highly creative) with many passions and hobbies, who loves to learn and explore. Extroverted, very active, animated, spunky with a zest for life. I’m still exploring my options for my career and solving life’s basic but heavy questions.

Him: He’s always consistent, doesn’t mind trying new things but more so introverted and prefers to stay in. He loves traveling and his work. Has 1-2 hobbies but he doesn’t show much passion for it. Or more so doesn’t express it as much as I do. So it’s hard for me to be convinced...He has already established himself in his work, quite comfortable where he is and a very left-brained individual.

There was never a honeymoon period, I don’t think. All the mushy, affectionate, wanting to spend more time with each other, can’t keep each other off of the other. It was always a slow simmer. There was no sexy talk (I’m very open with my sexuality and comfortable with such topics - mind you, he’s not and was quite inexperienced with women), and not much affectionate conversing - least when I read through our conversations from the beginning. It was safe, just getting to know someone as a friend.

I don’t know if I’m happy or if I’m scared or comfortable.

when I’m with him, I’m carpe diem - I live in the moment and I’m quite happy. He’s affectionate, has a bad tendency to ruin mushy moments (I had talked to him about this and he’s working on it) and he makes me feel like I’m taken care of.

But when I’m not with him, I wonder if I’m compromising my standards. I’ve dealt with my fair share of unfortunate relationships, but have learned from them.

This gentleman treats me very well, and his love language is much more about actions - purchases, behind the scene kind of guy, not so much the sentimental.

Whereas I like the PDA, I like the small gestures of affection, sentimental things, not so much the big purchases.

He had admitted he sucks in the regard - he’s not good with DIY or sentimental gifts or ideas. And I crave that.

Maybe it’s because he has his life together already I find that very appealing and fundamentally safe? Since he doesn’t have to search for who he is, his purpose, etc. Whereas I’m still in the midst of mine.

I’m confused on how I feel about him. I’m not looking for anyone else, nor am I distracted by anyone else, but I don’t feel I’m as happy as I could be. I’m happy, but not the happiest.

What should I do? What questions do I ask myself? How do I approach this? And should I talk to him about this?

Anything would l help immensely! Thanks.

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Reply Mon 10 Dec, 2018 07:50 am
Confusing situation
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