Dating Schizophrenia: Am I imagining his disdain for me?

I'm in conference now -please take a number and have a seat.

20 whole minutes? Good lord, is that the standard now? You got wayyyy too much time on your hands if you're actually counting that.

Chillax.

a) Have you not had occasions where the dreaded 20 minute mark passed between texts? People get caught in traffic, need to charge their phones, have homework, are in the midst of other conversations or whatever all the time and it does not mean squat. Get over this rather arbitrary and draconian time limit. Oh, and BTW, it keeps you hanging on and keeps you interested when he does this. Why the hell would he ever want to stop?

b) As for him not suggesting anything beyond hanging out, there are plenty of people who do not have a lot of money but also do not have a lot of imagination when it comes to dating ideas. And here's a radical idea - in one of your many texts, how about suggesting an outing? The earth will not crumble if you take the initiative here.

c) Not everyone consumes social media the exact same way. Maybe he doesn't have instagram; maybe he keeps them separate. Maybe he's not interested in your amazing tweets and images. Maybe he wants his tweets to remain separate or macho or look like he's not dating anyone or whatever. That's a lot of drama over 140 characters.

d) Same thing as (b) with the phone calls. No wonder you're obsessed with the texts and their timings. So pick up the telephone and call. And leave a message if he does not answer (hey, he could be in the middle of driving somewhere, etc.) and relax if you are not called back within that all-important 20 minute window.

e) Compliments? Christ on a cracker, do you compliment him at all? Or do you find it lame, strange and forced? Then how might he feel? Do not expect compliments any more than you should expect Champagne. Consider them to be special treats and not your automatic due just because you're dating.

f) See (b) and (d) above. Instead of waiting around, with some timer that goes off when the 20 minutes are up, suggest dates and the like if this guy really interests you.

Oh and (g) get a hobby. Srsly. You are beyond obsessed and need to step back and think about something else. I suggest something where you do something for the less fortunate. Reading to a blind person or volunteering at a center for the disabled or serving at a soup kitchen will show you just where the 20 minute time limit exists in the grand scheme of things.

Classic sign of overly attached girl friend.

Ayup.

Yeah, I don't think he's all that into you so move on.

Why do you use words like 'schizophrenia' and "disdain" to describe him?

I see "immature' and 'impatient' to describe you.

First and foremost, look up disdain in the dictionary. If he truly disdained you he would never contact you again and never consider a friendship with you. Disdain is one of the highest forms of hate as I interpret the word. He doesn't seem to hate you but it does seem he's not attracted to you the way you are to him.


This isn't a valid point unless you know he texts other people with a quicker response time. Maybe texting isn't his favorite method of communication.


This is pretty much all the proof that is needed to indicate he's not romantically inclined towards you.


NEVER NEVER NEVER assume that people know every little important detail about your life. One more time! Never assume he knows how important this is to you.


Sorry but this is further proof that he's holding you in a not so close friendship zone.


You need to be more proactive in this department if you are so sure this relationship needs to evolve into something stronger then casual friendships.



You just might have answered your own thread here. So terribly sorry to point that out.


Further proof he doesn't hate you but considers you a casual friend.


Never assume anything.


Sigh... the hypocrisy in this statement kind of stings.


Psychotic? Unlikely. A tad too melodramatic and needing to step back for a proper bit of perspective ... most definitely.


The most likeliest of answers is that he's isn't that INTO you in the way that you are into him. Who knows ... maybe if you give him his space then perhaps he'll learn to appreciate and become fonder towards you. (On a personal level that irony of that statement in my own life is a bit painful. I too need to learn from that bit of advice myself )

okay thank you to all who replied. I need to learn how to relax a little, I realize that... We aren't dating and he doesn't know I think this way, I just needed someone to tell me that I need to calm down and stop overthinking things. I think from now on I'll just be more nonchalant towards him and if he decides he wants to step it up a notch he can do so.

Tsarstepan, I would just like to acknowledge you for that introspective moment. I am sure it was not an easy look in the mirror!

Good luck.

I think most of us have been there.

I plead guilty...by reasons of insanity. Hurts like hell...and "just giving space" is so much easier to say and advise than to actually do!!!

It is not a crime, nor is it crazy, to want someone a lot. It can take up all your thoughts. How awful if nobody ever felt like that.

How awful when they DO feel that way - and it ends.

Gals call it the "Breakup 15" - either gain or lose 15 pounds after a breakup.

When it comes to a) Are you texting him at work? because his boss could be there or he could be working or driving so he can only respond when it's convient.

But I would just ask him directly just to clear the air, " do you like me?" Because it does sound like he may not, and you could be wasting your time with him. So if he does great, if he doesn't lets not waste your precious time on him. Good luck.