It kinda doesn't matter why she's like that. She's got you by the short hairs. Who cares what the reason is.
In the meantime, work with your lawyer to file the annulment, so that at least some progress is being made. And have him/her contact an American lawyer to see if there is anything that can be done. At a certain amount of time, in some jurisdictions (and the time varies), it can be considered constructive abandonment. Plus she has a boyfriend - in states where there is no no-fault divorce (actually, perhaps in all of them - check!) you might be able to get the marriage broken on grounds of adultery, but recognize that you are also committing adultery in the eyes of the law. In states where divorce is solely by fault, you'll find yourself with little to no $$ at the end of it. If you don't want any of the property, that could be a way to go, just to get out of things.
But have your lawyer connect up with someone in your ex's jurisdiction who practices divorce law, and see what your options are.