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Divorce Problems Bipolar Attitude of Ex

 
 
Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 01:20 pm
I was in a 7 yr relationship when I decided to marry. We had a kid and in less than a year of our marriage, she left me for another man. She talked to me about her plans on getting divorce so that we can all move on and have our own lives but unfortunately, 6 six have passed and the divorce was still not taken cared of. Until she and her boyfriend broke up. Now that I am doing a follow up regarding the divorce, she always gets mad or hangs up. All the time! I dont understand why she gets mad when in fact it was long overdue. Im in a stable relationship now and I want to have a family but we cannot do for now since I am still tied in the previous marriage. I tried to send an email to my ex since she cannot be tamed each time I call her phone but she ignores me. Im aware that she has a new boyfriend now. I dont understand why she is behaving that way. Can someone help me understand why she is like that? Its causing me and partner a terrible delay. She is the only one capable of filing the divorce since she is an american citizen. (Fil-Am) and im a filipino. Annullment here is way more expensive and longer. I was advised by my lawyer that its easier if divorce will be filed in US where she lives then I will process the recognition here. I forgot the legal term for that. Apologies. I hope someone can help us analyze why she is like that. And what are our other options. Thank u so much.
 
jespah
 
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Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 05:01 pm
@iamclueless,
It kinda doesn't matter why she's like that. She's got you by the short hairs. Who cares what the reason is.

In the meantime, work with your lawyer to file the annulment, so that at least some progress is being made. And have him/her contact an American lawyer to see if there is anything that can be done. At a certain amount of time, in some jurisdictions (and the time varies), it can be considered constructive abandonment. Plus she has a boyfriend - in states where there is no no-fault divorce (actually, perhaps in all of them - check!) you might be able to get the marriage broken on grounds of adultery, but recognize that you are also committing adultery in the eyes of the law. In states where divorce is solely by fault, you'll find yourself with little to no $$ at the end of it. If you don't want any of the property, that could be a way to go, just to get out of things.

But have your lawyer connect up with someone in your ex's jurisdiction who practices divorce law, and see what your options are.
iamclueless
 
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Reply Sun 10 Mar, 2013 07:49 pm
@jespah,
@jespah thank you so much for the inputs. We truly appreciate it. I am not after her properties or anything. I just want to have the divorce or annullment so i can re-marry. Are you saying whether she has a new bf in the US, its non bearing to our marriage or it could not be grounds for annullment here if it case she really wont file the divorce in Vegas where she resides? As per my lawyer, only she can file the divorce since she is the American Citizen. I can only file for the anullment here. Again thank u for your inputs. @jespah
PUNKEY
 
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Reply Mon 11 Mar, 2013 01:10 pm
@iamclueless,
Is annulment a legal term where you live?

Do you have a friend in the states who could advocate for you?

They could find you a lawyer and get this done very quickly.

I don't understand why she would not end this ASAP. Have you given her child support? If not, maybe she's angry and wants to screw up your life.

iamclueless
 
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Reply Mon 11 Mar, 2013 04:57 pm
@PUNKEY,
@punkey yes annullment is the legal term here since we dont have divorce yet. If I could talk to my friend who lives in San Diego, how can she help us? The ex lives in Vegas. The child support was never really discussed. Since she cheated and she took my son without really telling the truth that she had no plans on returning him here, she never really imposed on the child support on a monthly basis. She finished her school here in the philippines also so all this time the child was in the US. It was only last year when she had our son from her parents and from what i know they live together now in vegas. In the early years of our break up, she was the one eager to talk me out about the divorce because she is having an affair with her fellow med student. That time i was single and maybe i could call myself miserable. After two years, thats when i met my present gf and we are happily together for four yrs. but since we are getting along well, we cant deny it, marriage is becoming an issue. We want to have our relationsip to be legal and tie the knot as soon as we can since we are not getting any younger. The problem is, my ex had a drastic change of mood. Divorce is no longer her priority. She gets really mad. As in mad each time I raise that topic. She would put her phone on voicemail or would yell at me. She said if we cant wait for the divorce, we process it here. But annullment is longer and more expensive. She tool everything away from me and now that i am starting to live my life, she screws up? My gf and i also find it unfair that she will have no participation to nullify our maariage. She got out first for another man anyway. Thank you so much for giving time to answer our post. My gf and I feel that we have no other option but to wait. And time is precious. I told my ex 6 yrs is patient enough for me to take. Why cant she allow me to be happy now. She ignores my mails.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Mon 11 Mar, 2013 05:00 pm
@iamclueless,
You need to get your lawyer involved considerably more aggressively. I don't mean that in the sense of nastiness; I mean that in the sense of working harder.
iamclueless
 
  1  
Reply Mon 11 Mar, 2013 05:05 pm
@jespah,
@jespah our lawyer advised to talk it out with my ex since divorce is way easier and faster. If she wont file the divorce abroad, lawyer said we have no choice but to resort to annullment which is longer and way expensive. My gf and I joined here hoping to get more knowledge if there are other options on my situation. It seems that my ex have the world in her hands. She is doing everything favorable to her. If we process annullment here, she gets out of the marriage without sharing anything. I dont have much here. I value every single peso i have and work hard for it. Thank you for taking time in answering our posts. They are really appreciated.
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