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I am so old that I was raised a woman should obey her husband

 
 
Falco
 
  3  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:09 pm
@edgarblythe,
I have worked in Kenya for a year on a project.
But is that relevant to the discussion?
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:10 pm
@Falco,
You tell me. You brought it up.
Falco
 
  3  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:12 pm
@edgarblythe,
Nope.
You asked me first though.
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:18 pm
@Falco,
By telling osso that if she has not been there, she can't really know, you made it a part of the conversation. I was establishing whether you had qualification for saying that.
Falco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:19 pm
@edgarblythe,
I did.

ossobuco wrote:
So, in light of all that background on my own part, I'll say I can start to understand women in other places.

This story got to me:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2013/02/will-the-pistorius-case-change-south-africa.html
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:25 pm
@Falco,
My relative did have a clitoridectomy done, not by her choice. She was from a small tribal village.

You could be more careful who you tell that they don't understand anything.
Falco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:25 pm
@ossobuco,
Indeed it is. And don't take my writing on this thread as an attack. I just think it's understating what women are going through in some other places on a daily basis, when contrasting with the American life like that. But it's just my opinion.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:30 pm
@Falco,
I agree that some of our complaints here are from a different zone of concern.
There is a kind of continuum to it all though.
0 Replies
 
Falco
 
  3  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:30 pm
@ossobuco,
I've been to Africa and even I can't say I understand what these women go through because I have not experienced it first hand. Saying that I do is just taking the weight away from the situation, and just undermining what these women go through. That's all I mean.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:38 pm
@Falco,
I think EdgarB and I reacted to your assertion the continent is a hellhole, and you were in a position to know it (implied). Of course I can see how you could say that because of what you know about from being there a year, and how you felt about it all.

History, though - lot of blame to go around re the continent's troubles.

Which brings me back to the US, we have ourselves to fix on a variety of matters.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:43 pm
Falco - by the way, welcome to a2k.
No, I'm not kidding - stick around, eh?
0 Replies
 
Falco
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 Feb, 2013 05:57 pm
@ossobuco,
Of course, each nation has its fair share of injustices and inequalities, even present day America. We'll get it right someday. :-)

Thank you for welcoming me. I'll try to stick around, but I can't guarantee anything.
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Feb, 2013 05:21 am
@ossobuco,
I can hardly think of any of my friends where the parents had the idea of having to obey a husband. Respect one another yes, be fathful yes, but obey in a negative sence - no.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 21 Feb, 2013 01:15 pm
@saab,
That is one of the reasons I've appreciated Scandinavia, as far as I know about it.
I was raised in a different place than you, and in the beginning I was quite sure, from my intense religious training in my particular schooling, that women should obey their husbands - which is why it was such a confusion to me to figure out how I could possibly obey anyone while still believing I had to.

In the meantime, I had the nuns telling me that to be a doctor, I would have to be a Single Woman in the World (one of the choices on Vocation Day, the convent, marriage next, then single woman in world) and then recruiting me to be a missionary nun (I almost did it). I also had medical schools not accepting women (women would just go off and marry and quit, it was opined). Of, say, sixty or seventy medical schools listed in the 1962 MCAT, or was it '63 (medical school admissions test) catalog, perhaps nine - or was it less - accepted any women at all, and most of those nine took one or two, the rest of the schools accepting zero women. There was a women's med school in Philadelphia. The MCAT was related to US and Canadian and a couple of other schools, at least at that time.

That was over fifty years ago. Things changed, maybe because of civil rights legislation or the times just changing - I don't have data on that.

I've changed, and medical schools have changed. And the obey thing is well out the window for a lot of us.

The obey thing is not quite out the window though, in a lot of homes on earth.
saab
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Feb, 2013 02:29 am
This is nothing I can proove with sietific numbers, only what I have heard from friends and relatives with German background.
Father always got the best part of meat and the children only getting meat if some was left.
We Scandinaian kids always got meat first when it was scarce and parents went without.
The same thing I more or less heard about Americans - but of course the ones I mostly have had contact with are of Scandinavian decendent.

Religious background:
I have relatives, who went to Catholic school run by nuns - and it was no different than normal school except the teachers usually cared more about the children and the kids had to wear a uniform
When I went to school in Sweden it was very strict and every morning started with 15 minutes devotion. That was in the state run schools.
We had 2 hours a week of religious instructions and on the grade sheet Christianity was the first subject and afterwards came Swedish.
At that time 95% were members in the Swedish church - 5% were Catholics or Jews.
Now I think it is something like 80-85% which does not mean that we are fanatics running to church.
Up to 2000 one was born into the Swedish Lutheran Church. Since then you are baptized into the church.

I caught the dry humor in your expression, but for me it is a sign of someone trying to be chick and modern. If I would say ...there are some good books written by women....I would see it as discrimination against us women.
If I would say ...there are some good books written by Muslims ....I would be called racist.
See how different cultures are?
saab
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Feb, 2013 03:46 am
@saab,
P.S

Some American Institution interviewed Swedes and came to the result we are not at all religious.
The question was "Are you religious"? translated "Är du religös"?
Religös has a negativ tone to it in Swedish - I would not even use the word in connection with a serious priest or pastor. Probably in connection with a sectarian preacher.
Here a word was translated direct without the correct meaning.
Which caused an American relative of mine to more than often to
point out that I am not a good Christian.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Feb, 2013 03:57 am
@ossobuco,
Vicky Pryce is relying on that defence to keep out of jail.

Quote:
It is alleged that between 12 March and 21 May 2003, Ms Pryce falsely informed police that she had been the driver of the car so that Huhne, then an MEP with hopes of becoming an MP, could avoid a driving ban.

During her trial, Ms Pryce accepted that she had taken Huhne's points, but she adopted a defence of marital coercion, claiming he had made her sign a form he had already completed in her name.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21516473
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Feb, 2013 07:50 pm
@saab,
You seem not to understand others experience.
saab
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 02:43 am
@ossobuco,
You wrote that you thought well about Sweden so I was happy someoe likes my coutry and I thought it would be just plain fun to tell you about how life was there. and to great extent still is.

I beg you pardon that me telling about Sweden did hurt you and gave the impression I do not understand your and others experience.
0 Replies
 
tiki-tak
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 05:43 pm
Obedience consists of fear and pathetic disposition.
On the contrary, loving someone consists of understanding, caring and creating happiness and beautiful feelings of pleasure and excitement every moment.
 

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