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Please edit it:

 
 
Reply Tue 5 Feb, 2013 07:25 am


Looming Lunar New Year Firework to Check out Chinese Rationality
January has witnessed thick smog dominated 1.3 million square kilometres of China. In less than a week will come Chinese New Year Eve - at that time, traditionally a nationwide firework display will be staged. Now the question is: will Chinese people ignore the warning of NATURE and continue to worsen the murky skies of their country by the highly air-polluting spectacle?

The approaching New Year will be an important test stone for the sense of reason in Chinese people. For my part, I hope the poeple will find an alternative way to celebrate the festival. I also hope that you people around the world will keep an eye on China to remind them to reform the tradition. A China with clean air is what we expect. We're living in a global village, after all.
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View best answer, chosen by oristarA
XXSpadeMasterXX
 
  0  
Reply Tue 5 Feb, 2013 10:49 pm
@oristarA,
This article is basically saying that there is a mysterious smog covering China right now, that will impact their New Year celebration with the fireworks celebrations...and the author of the article is saying he or she is interested in how the Chinese will handle this dilemma with conjunction to their beliefs and desires...And in a reasonable way...Meaning making a nicely thought out alternative...
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Feb, 2013 01:58 am
@XXSpadeMasterXX,
XXSpadeMasterXX wrote:

This article is basically saying that there is a mysterious smog covering China right now, that will impact their New Year celebration with the fireworks celebrations...and the author of the article is saying he or she is interested in how the Chinese will handle this dilemma with conjunction to their beliefs and desires...And in a reasonable way...Meaning making a nicely thought out alternative...


Thanks.

Does the article sound natural (in grammar and rhetoric)? If there is anything unnatural, please edit it.

For example:

Better use "traditionally a firework display will be staged nationwide" instead of "traditionally a nationwide firework display will be staged"?
0 Replies
 
roger
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Reply Wed 6 Feb, 2013 02:24 am
@oristarA,
oristarA wrote:



Looming Lunar New Year Firework to Check out Chinese Rationality
January has witnessed a thick smog that dominated 1.3 million square kilometres of China. In less than a week it will be the Chinese New Year's Eve. At that time, traditionally a nationwide firework display will be staged. Now the question is: will the Chinese people ignore the warning of NATURE (if it's Nature Magazine, say so. If not, use lower case) and continue to worsen the murky skies of their country by the highly (delete air -) polluting spectacle?

The approaching New Year will be an important test stone (test stone?) for the sense of reason in Chinese people. For my part, I hope the poeple will find an alternative way to celebrate the festival. I also hope that (delete "you") people around the world will keep an eye on China to remind them to reform the tradition. A China with clean air is what we expect. We're living in a global village, after all.


I think my notes might be an improvement. Your call, of course. You seem to like hyphens more than most of us.
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Feb, 2013 02:40 am
@roger,
roger wrote:

oristarA wrote:



Looming Lunar New Year Firework to Check out Chinese Rationality
January has witnessed a thick smog that dominated 1.3 million square kilometres of China. In less than a week it will be the Chinese New Year's Eve. At that time, traditionally a nationwide firework display will be staged. Now the question is: will the Chinese people ignore the warning of NATURE (if it's Nature Magazine, say so. If not, use lower case) and continue to worsen the murky skies of their country by the highly (delete air -) polluting spectacle?

The approaching New Year will be an important test stone (test stone?) for the sense of reason in Chinese people. For my part, I hope the poeple will find an alternative way to celebrate the festival. I also hope that (delete "you") people around the world will keep an eye on China to remind them to reform the tradition. A China with clean air is what we expect. We're living in a global village, after all.


I think my notes might be an improvement. Your call, of course. You seem to like hyphens more than most of us.


Thanks.
If we try to emphasize the greatness of mother nature, can't we use NATURE?

test stone - touchstone.
XXSpadeMasterXX
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Feb, 2013 02:44 am
@oristarA,
This is how I would word it.

Quote:
January has witnessed thick smog dominated 1.3 million square kilometres of China. In less than a week will come Chinese New Year Eve - at that time, traditionally a nationwide firework display will be staged. Now the question is: will Chinese people ignore the warning of NATURE and continue to worsen the murky skies of their country by the highly air-polluting spectacle?

In January alone, China has witnessed thick smog dominating 1.3 million square kilometers of China. It is less than one week before the Chinese New Years Eve. During the Chinese New Year celebrations, traditionally, a nationwide fireworks display is staged. But with this new dilemma, The citizens of China now have to decide if they plan to have the celebration, anyways, and worsen the already murky skies caused by this natural phenomena with the highly, air-polluting spectacle, that happens with the nationwide fireworks display.

Quote:
The approaching New Year will be an important test stone for the sense of reason in Chinese people. For my part, I hope the poeple will find an alternative way to celebrate the festival. I also hope that you people around the world will keep an eye on China to remind them to reform the tradition. A China with clean air is what we expect. We're living in a global village, after all.

The approaching New Year will be an important test of rationality for the Chinese citizens. In my own opinions, I hope that the citizens will come together and find an alternative way to celebrate the Chinese New Year. Rather than having the fireworks spectacle. I also hope that everyone around the world would join me in support to have China reform this tradition. And lets China understand that others feel the same ways as I do about reforming these traditions. After all, a nation with clean, unpolluted air is more important for the health of our citizens, and the world. Then to have a spectacle, when nature is not cooperating anyways.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Feb, 2013 03:25 am
@oristarA,
If you want to treat nature as an entity, such as Mother Nature, capitalize the first letter only.
0 Replies
 
oristarA
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Feb, 2013 04:35 am
@XXSpadeMasterXX,
XXSpadeMasterXX wrote:

This is how I would word it.

Quote:
January has witnessed thick smog dominated 1.3 million square kilometres of China. In less than a week will come Chinese New Year Eve - at that time, traditionally a nationwide firework display will be staged. Now the question is: will Chinese people ignore the warning of NATURE and continue to worsen the murky skies of their country by the highly air-polluting spectacle?

In January alone, China has witnessed thick smog dominating 1.3 million square kilometers of China. It is less than one week before the Chinese New Years Eve. During the Chinese New Year celebrations, traditionally, a nationwide fireworks display is staged. But with this new dilemma, The citizens of China now have to decide if they plan to have the celebration, anyways, and worsen the already murky skies caused by this natural phenomena with the highly, air-polluting spectacle, that happens with the nationwide fireworks display.

Quote:
The approaching New Year will be an important test stone for the sense of reason in Chinese people. For my part, I hope the poeple will find an alternative way to celebrate the festival. I also hope that you people around the world will keep an eye on China to remind them to reform the tradition. A China with clean air is what we expect. We're living in a global village, after all.

The approaching New Year will be an important test of rationality for the Chinese citizens. In my own opinions, I hope that the citizens will come together and find an alternative way to celebrate the Chinese New Year. Rather than having the fireworks spectacle. I also hope that everyone around the world would join me in support to have China reform this tradition. And lets China understand that others feel the same ways as I do about reforming these traditions. After all, a nation with clean, unpolluted air is more important for the health of our citizens, and the world. Then to have a spectacle, when nature is not cooperating anyways.


Thank you for rewriting.
You've made it very clear. But I wonder whether we can make it a bit shorter.
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