@farmerman,
I was simply trying to be amusing fm but I do understand why you might not consider me to have succeeded in your own case.
I got into an argument once with the wife of a friend of mine who indulged her to the extent of allowing her to play at having a fashion shop. In the course of the argument I offered to loan her a paperback of The Theory of the Leisure Class. (It can now be read online.)
I had been trying to explain to her that frocks were sacks to cover up the dirty bits and that they were useful in the service of keeping husbands skint because husbands who are not skint attract rivals.
A month or two later I was a passenger in my pal's Mk 10 Jaguar and I chanced to ask him whether Veronica had finished my book. He looked a little sheepish and told me she had and that it was in the rear window of the car. When I came to get it I found it had been torn to shreds to the extent she was capable of tearing a book to shreds. By which I mean vertically often enough to allow her to tear it horizontally as well.
My friend informed me that she took this action due to something on page 3. So you can imagine the impress your strictures have on me.