5
   

A little humor to start the day off right!

 
 
Reply Fri 25 Jan, 2013 08:08 am
Here is a snippet of conversation between two people on a first date:

Lady: " Do you drink?"

Man: "Yes."

Lady: "How much?

Man: "Three six packs a day."

Lady: "Three six packs! My goodness. How much does a six pack cost?"

Man: "About $10.00."

Lady: "And how long have you been drinking?"

Man: "Oh, fifteen years."

Lady (on a roll): "So three six packs a day at $10 per six pack is $30 a day--that's about $900 a month. In one year, that would be almost $11,000, correct?"

Man (playing the game): "Yeah."

Lady: "So at $11,000 per year for 15 years, not accounting for inflation, that means you've spent about $165,000 on beer during that time.

Man: "Yup."

Lady: "Do you realize that if you had saved that money rather than spending it on beer, you could have bought a top-of-the-line Ferrari and had money left over, right?"

The guy smiles and asks: "Do you drink?"

Lady: "No!"

Man: "So where's your ******* Ferrari?"

  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 5 • Views: 1,644 • Replies: 11
No top replies

 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jan, 2013 08:56 am
@Frank Apisa,
Love it.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Fri 25 Jan, 2013 09:10 am
@chai2,
Actually Frank, this reminds me of another joke I heard, in off all places, an AA meeting (don't get me started on AA)

A man was down on his luck, and going door to door to businesses looking for a job. Being uneducated he was having no luck. Finally he went into a whore house and asked if there was any type of work he could do. The madam said "Actually, we're looking for a bookkeeper" The man replied. "I can't do that, you see, I can't read, and I can't write"
The madam didn't have any other jobs for him, so sent him on his way, giving him an apple for his trouble.

The man stood on the corner, shining the apple on his lapel, and was about to take a bite, when another man walked by and said, "I'm really hungry, I'll give you a dollar for the apple.
Our man took the dollar, thought about it, and went down to a fruit stand, bought a bucks worth of fruit and little by slowly at first built up his fledgling business.

20 years later, he was the largest purveyor of fruits and vegetables in the western half of the country, and was going to be interviewed by a magazine. Before the interview, he was asked to look over and sign some releases.

He said "I'm sorry, I can read, and I can't write"

The interviewer, shocked said "You've made millions and you can read or write? Just imagine where you'd be if you had that education."

Yeah.....I would have been a bookkeeper at a whorehouse.
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jan, 2013 09:12 am
@chai2,
Great one, Chai! Loved it.
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Fri 25 Jan, 2013 04:37 pm
@Frank Apisa,
ditto
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Sat 26 Jan, 2013 07:29 pm
@chai2,
That's a famous short story, the title of which eludes me. McTag or Contrex would likely know.
izzythepush
 
  0  
Reply Sun 27 Jan, 2013 07:40 am
@JTT,
Sounds like a more risque version of The Verger by Somerset Maugham.

http://www.sinden.org/verger.html
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Jan, 2013 08:17 am
@izzythepush,
That's the one, Izzy.
0 Replies
 
Frank Apisa
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Jan, 2013 08:30 am
Izzy...JTT...

Good find! That was cute...and I had never read it before.
0 Replies
 
Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Jan, 2013 09:09 am
@izzythepush,
Good one, Iz.
JTT
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 27 Jan, 2013 09:15 am
@Joe Nation,
Ya figure that this was just a case of ignorant colonials, Joe(bad case of cognitive dissonance)Nation?
izzythepush
 
  0  
Reply Sun 27 Jan, 2013 10:12 am
@JTT,
I think it might have been doing the rounds as a shaggy dog story before Maugham put pen to paper. It might easily have originated in America.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

Oddities and Humor - Discussion by edgarblythe
Let's play "Caption the Photo" II - Discussion by gustavratzenhofer
JIM NABORS WAS GOY? - Question by farmerman
Funny Pictures ***Slow Loading*** - Discussion by JerryR
Caption The Cartoon - Discussion by panzade
Geek and Nerd Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
Caption The Cartoon Part Deux - Discussion by panzade
IS IT OK FOR ME TO CHEAT? - Question by Setanta
2008 Election: Political Humor - Discussion by Robert Gentel
 
  1. Forums
  2. » A little humor to start the day off right!
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.04 seconds on 10/14/2019 at 12:39:51