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Please advice me what to do?

 
 
sanam
 
Reply Wed 23 Jan, 2013 04:17 am
I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 22 we are in relationship from last 4 years we often have sex..we are totally different i am well educated and he even dont know abcd,i belong from Honorable family and he is just opposite of it,and he have a bad habit of gambling we always fight on that i am trying from 4 years to make him my Mr.right but i am failed:-(... now i want to break up but the thing that i have lost my virginity is not allowing me to do break up...is it right to breakup after physical relationship??will it affect my future life like marriage?
 
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Jan, 2013 04:56 am
Where do you live? What's the cultural environment?
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Wed 23 Jan, 2013 05:31 am
@sanam,
You don't need to tie yourself to this jerk forever. Leave him.

As for future marriage, you have a few options.
1) Tell your future husband that you're not a virgin. When in the relationship should you do this? When things are serious and you are talking marriage. If it's important to him, he might just walk. Personally, I find that shallow and stupid on someone's part, but there are people who do that, and there is the culture of thinking a virginal woman is all-important and that may be the case where you live.
2) Have sex with your future husband and thereby avoid the virginity issue at time of marriage. Do you tell him you're not a virgin before the first time you have sex? I don't honestly know; play it by ear.
3) Lie. I don't normally advocate lying in relationships but I find the whole idea of promoting female virginity to the exclusion of women's happiness to be incredibly backward and unrealistic.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Jan, 2013 03:26 pm
You don't have to stay with a man because you had sex with him.

I tell you this, even when I know that your culture tells you that you must stay.

He is not a good man for you. Now you know that.

0 Replies
 
Binary175
 
  1  
Reply Sun 27 Jan, 2013 02:48 pm
@sanam,
Just break up with him. You will have other relationships. He's a loser.
0 Replies
 
bob the brave
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Feb, 2013 02:14 am
@FBM,
The guy is a bum. Trust your instincts. Get rid of him as fast as you can. Your culture may tell you your virginity is important, but believe me, it has nothing to do with it. You are a woman now, an adult and you must trust in yourself and let no one disrespect you.
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 2 Feb, 2013 04:22 am
@bob the brave,
I was asking about the culture because in some places she could be endangered by initiating a break-up with a guy who doesn't want to break up. I wasn't about to advise her to stick with him, I was just thinking it's best to suggest safe ways to do so.
0 Replies
 
 

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