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When I get nervous, I feel sick. How can I control this?

 
 
Reply Fri 4 Jan, 2013 08:27 pm
Hello everyone,

I never really noticed this until a few months ago, but it seems that whenever I get nervous about something, I start to feel really sick. For example, during finals last year, I got so nervous before taking them that my stomach got so worked up and got such bad cramps that I had diarrhea for 5 days straight (this was coupled with a stomach bug from the day before, so it was even worse). I believe part of this is because of my mom, who would yell at me if I got bad grades (anything lower than a B), so I was always dreading doing bad and having to come home to her reaction. On a report card, I could understand, but I would get yelled at for getting a 2/5 on a 5 point quiz. That's a little extreme if you ask me. I recently told her how it made me feel and she felt bad/understood and made it her new year's resolution not to blow up on me anymore if I get bad grades, which I really appreciated.

One thing I notice is that I'd get myself all worked up before the test, but then once I actually get in the room and start taking the test, I feel fine. The pains go away and I feel normal again.

However, though that helped a bit, the problem still occurs. The other situation it is present in is with the girl I like (who I've asked questions about on here before). For instance, if I decide, let's say Wednesday night, that at a specific time on Thursday in school I would finally just ask her out, I feel fine going to bed. I wake up ok, but then immediately after I start to get out of sleepy-mode, I get a raging stomach-ache yet again. I get to school and it kind of goes away, but then the appointed time gets closer and closer and I start to feel sicker and sicker and usually end up feeling so sick that I can't bring myself to ask.

This really bothers me, so I'm wondering if anyone has any tips to help control this unfortunate nervous habit of mine.

It's bad enough that it happens with tests and girls in 10th grade at 16 years old, but I can't even imagine what it will be like when I'm in college taking finals, applying for jobs/being interviewed, and in other big social situations (parties or more serious dating, for example).

Breathing deeply in and out doesn't seem to help... Does anyone have any other suggestions or remedies?

I'd really like to resolve this problem before it gets any worse and further interferes with my life.

Thanks in advance for any and all responses, it is much appreciated.
 
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Jan, 2013 07:20 am
@fallenkingdom896,
I read your posts here and in the past. What your experiencing is/are anxiety attacks. Your reactions are becoming more of a problem and could develop into a long term problem. Clearly you can't control this YET without either learning more relaxation techniques or learning new coping skills from that come from getting professional help.

Ordinarily, I'd suggest you learn some relaxation techniques like breathing techniques ..breathe control (diaphragmatic breathing). Meditation often can moderate the distress you feel when you're facing such conflicts. This is what many people have used successfully for managing their stress and distress.

But when you wrote about your mom yelling at you about test marks and grades. These pains/stomach distress you get from the pressure put upon you internally and externally (from mom)... I feel this has taken a bigger toll than garden-variety distress from taking tests or romantic issues, etc.

What makes me feel that it's no longer garden variety distress has to do with your reactions to video games. Also your physical reactions are getting troubling. You wrote that you cry when you see your fave character die off in a video game. This is a red flag. You should be able to differentiate here and not have such an extreme reaction. You're not a crazy or a bad person...but it's a sign that you need to learn how to moderate your emotions a bit better.

My suggestion is for you to see a counselor. Perhaps you and your mom should see one together. It's probably not enough that your mom made a resolution to not blow up at you for your tests and grades. More effort to learn new ways has / have to be learned .

It was exceptional that you spoke up for yourself and asked her not to over-react as she had been before. However, for a long time she has been adding big time to your anxiety. People in that kind of situation can end up wth ulcers or more serious anxiety issues.

She and you need a new way to deal with these conflicts. A counselor might help you BOTH.
fallenkingdom896
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Jan, 2013 08:48 pm
@Ragman,
Hm, I didn't really it was this serious. That's rather unfortunate.

Though, I forgot to mention, there are some things that calm me down. Breathing is just not one of them. Talking a walk, particularly outside in the fresh air, especially if it's cold out, helps immensely. Listening to music also distracts me from the issue on hand and allows me to calm down. While they both do help, I unfortunately can not just leave school to take a walk or listen to music (in school) whenever I want.

I was just talking to my mom about this; she said we will see how I am doing at the end of the month. I have midterms in 2 weeks, which are worth 10% of our grade, so if I am still having these anxiety attacks/nervous reactions, then she is making me an appointment with a counselor.

In addition, I said in my original post: "One thing I notice is that I'd get myself all worked up before the test, but then once I actually get in the room and start taking the test, I feel fine. The pains go away and I feel normal again."
-This is not just the case with tests. With literally every single thing I get nervous over, once I actually begin the activity, I feel fine. So, in addition to tests, I'd get worked up before my first roller coaster with loops but then felt fine when I actually sat down on it, and get very nervous before talking to the girl I like but then when I actually start talking to her the feeling goes away, etc.
Just to add some more insight.

I didn't realize that crying over a death in a video game had anything to do with this though. I always just assumed I was rather sensitive. Though I would agree it is slightly strange, as someone's death in real life does not faze me (unless it is a relative or friend), while a fantasy one does. This crying over a video game/movie has only occurred three times though. And it wasn't necessarily crying; one of the three was, but the other two were just 20 seconds of silent tears before I stopped.

Though, in the end, I agree. If this problem continues through the end of the month, chances are that I will visit with a counselor.

Thanks a lot for the response, it is much appreciated.
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Jan, 2013 12:16 am
@fallenkingdom896,
It sounds like you're a thoughtful, sensitive person. You mom sounds like she has the right approach to helping you with your anxiety attacks. I wish you the best of luck.
fallenkingdom896
 
  1  
Reply Sun 6 Jan, 2013 08:12 pm
@Ragman,
Allright, great. Thanks again for all the help, I really, really appreciate it.
0 Replies
 
fallenkingdom896
 
  3  
Reply Mon 28 Jan, 2013 04:58 pm
@Ragman,
Hey Ragman,

Just wanted to give you an update. I successfully controlled the anxiety attacks during my midterm week and took all tests without having any problems whasoever. On friday after taking the test for the class we share, I asked the girl I've liked out, she said yes, and we went to the movies on saturday.

I think I'm in a pretty good position now, so I just wanted to thank you for the thoughtful and helpful responses you gave me on here.

THANK YOU. I really, really, really, really appreciate it.

fallenkingdom896
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Mon 28 Jan, 2013 05:16 pm
@fallenkingdom896,
That's so great. Congrats! That's the way to do it. Keep at it.

Thanks for the feedback, too.
0 Replies
 
ale9173
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Jun, 2015 11:02 pm
@fallenkingdom896,
Hello my friend, I am currently having the same issues you used to have. I feel sick every time I'm nervous and I can't do anything about it. I don't know how to control my anxiety and I was wondering if you could give me some tips on how to do it and also what you did to beat this thing.
I would really appreciate a reply.
Take care!
0 Replies
 
sierraB
 
  1  
Reply Fri 26 Jun, 2015 04:57 am
@fallenkingdom896,
These are signs of anxiety attacks for sure as I also suffered from this. I used to feel scared and my heart just used to beat so fast when someone shout or something bad happened. I used to dread and then become normal after sometime but used to revolve in my mind. It became fine after sometime by itself, never took any medication. What mostly helped me that I started confronting it and gained a lot of information about my condition. It will get better just be positive and strong. And yes seeing doctor can ease out your anxiety. Cure is the information.
0 Replies
 
 

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