My Insane Rants

It started about 9 years ago with a trip to Amsterdam.

I got off the plane and had a sip of coffee. My chest got all in a cramp and I knew something was wrong.

When I got back to the states I saw a doctor.

I had surgery.

It was quite major surgery. This surgery was the first time in my life I was saved by science. Had I not undergone this modern surgery I would have died. So I owe my life to the doctor that performed this.

The night before the surgery the Dr called me. He said, "You know we are going inside you blind." I said, "Just go inside and see what is wrong and fix it."

The surgeon put two stitches into my diaphragm.

I often talk of my mediocrity, because I outlived Shakespeare, Mozart and many other great artists. As if my longevity were due to me not living to such extremes. I assure you that modern medicine has had everything to do with my still being among the land of the living.

At no point is this "rant' to be directed towards any of my healthcare providers or doctors. As they seemed so helpless to fix me I know they tied and many succeeded.

It takes perseverance and courage to survive when you have several perplexing health issues at the same time happening.

The first health issue was my back (spine). My spine has bothered me as far back as I can remember.

When I was born I was allergic to milk. So I was weened on water.

The milk did not agree with my stomach and chemistry.

When I was three I ate cherry bomb. I had to get my stomach pumped. I also had my tonsils out.When I was four I cracked my head open on the marble top table.

I was in my stocking feet and jumped off the couch and slipped off the table and hit the back of my skull on it. I tend to think this is where my latent brilliance as a deep thinker has come from. Deep marbles... Where I hear colors and feel sounds. My brains got all jumbled.

Well as I got to be a few years older I felt the back pain in the upper center of my back. . I remember thinking when I was about ten years old if my body would be able to handle this bit of an ache for the rest of my life.

As my adult teeth grew in they were huge and very dense! For each tooth that grew in I got an abscess and an earache all in one. THIS WAS HORRIBLE! For years I suffered with my adult teeth growing in. I still have my wisdom teeth. No one ever called me names for my big teeth they just seemed to be very dense teeth. I remember once thinking about God and why I was never allowed a moment to not feel pain of some sort. There were growing pains where the very marrow of my bones seemed to be on fire and I was unable to relax my bones. Mild but apparent other allergies. Oh and being born gay. My mother was probably my first saving grace.

I did not get along well in school in sports so I was often exempt from sports. When I did play sports I was often too aggressive. My father made me work at home as a boy. Building rock walls and tilling gardens.

In my teens I met a private school sports coach who leveled with me. He said you are in pain now? If you do not build up your body now just think of how it will be in 20 years to have to build up your body then? His words were wise enough that I still remember them. He convinced me that being muscular and in pain was better than being weak and in pain. So I took to field labor. Hoping that doing very arduous labor would help me. When they would pay me at very low wage for working in the fields I would thank them for being my health spa. Yet the pain always lingered on. It always kept me on the edge. Always kept me crazy, and never still. Too occupied to really understand or see. Disconnected. Still in the field...

An Osteopathic Dr. who put my back in a few times and told me I had scoliosis. This particular Dr. was one of the very first Osteopathic Dr's of the entire profession.

I saw a chiropractor who told me it is Dr's jobs to keep me sick. I am sure he was trying to do good by me. He told me I was too worried all the time and kept my shoulders up too much out of nervousness. So this was pulling at the center of my spine.

So I learned a thing. If I kept my shoulders down I felt better.

(continued later )

I had colonoscopy while the nuns watched at mercy hospital. Then they stuck a camera down my throat to the deepest organs (the Marianas Trench). I actually felt safe there.

Let me rephrase that, while the nurses (nuns) assisted. I am sure it was as displeasing an experience for them as it was for me. They were trying to help me and I am very grateful.. The colonoscopy and the probe into my stomach did not turn up anything. So I was sent to back specialists and they took a slew of x-rays.

Their conclusion was that I did not have even a slight form of scoliosis.

In fact my spine did not even show normal aging. So the sports coach from the private school was right, the musculature helped keep my bones healthy.

There still was the issue of the back pain. So it was surmised the problem with my back was not caused by bones but it was muscle oriented.

So I was sent to physical therapy. My Dr wanted to put me on Fibromyalgia medications. I refused them because the side effects seemed worse than my pain.

So instead I started taking hydrocodone. I took small doses of hydrocodone for almost four years.

I was sent to another back specialist. He put me on a second medication Zanaflex yet I was till taking the hydrocodone also.

I was sent to physical therapy again.

I also suffer from Dupuytren's contracture, I have had about 6 surgeries on my knuckles and the palms of my hands.

My primary care Dr. sent me to a stomach surgeon. I had my stomach tied up around my esophagus and I had a torn diaphragm that required two stitches. Being a singer and getting your diaphragm sewn together is a trip. but I am sure this surgery saved my life.

After the surgery the chest pains were gone but the back pain was still there.

Why am I telling all of this? I am hoping it will help somebody who may be suffering in a similar way.

I was worried as a child that this pain would gradually get worse and that is what was happening.

The back specialist sent me to an osteopathic Dr. the Osteopathic Dr did a vitamin D test and found my vitamin D level was at 20%... For someone my age it should have been around 55% or even higher. So I was put on massive amounts of Vitamin D. At one point I was taking about 12000 IU a day and still my vitamin D level was not improving much. It took two years of massive doses of D to get my level up to 45%.

At the same time I was gaining weight. I had just had my stomach tied and I was still gaining weight?

I started breaking out with rashes in the winter months. This seemed to further indicate a vitamin D link because we get less sunshine in the winter.

I did not like always being on hydrocodone. Sometimes I would not take my pills and I would drink alcohol instead to give my body a rest. Well I could be quite inebriated and still the throbbing pain would go right through an alcohol buzz.

I was sent to another Dr. for a bone density test. She told me the alcohol was "eating up" the vitamin D in my body and this is why it was no help for my pain.

Finally my primary care physician (the second one) decided to take me off hydrocodone. I said what are you going to replace it with? He just looked at me and said you can't stay on this medication forever...

So I left with my pain and no medications. A strange thing happened that my Osteopathic Dr predicted. He said getting off the pain medication may actually lessen your pain. He was right by not taking the Tylenol and the opiates my liver was able to metabolize the Vitamin D better. The pain medication was actually taxing my liver.

So getting off the pain meds dropped my pain levels by a degree. I had one night of restless sleep and a four year bout with pain meds was over.

My overall health started to deteriorate rapidly.

My osteopathic Dr moved his office to another city so I no longer had him as a resource. I was still on massive doses of Vitamin D.

(I will continue this soon)

Here is were I inadvertently found the "internal allergy". It is ironic that with so many doctors that in the end I stumbled over what was wrong.

My health was on its last leg literally!

My feet were being afflicted by layers and layers of dead skin in the form of calluses on my heels and the entire pads of my feet. These took me hours to sand down. The veins were abnormally close to the skin on my ankles and calves.

I was getting splotches on my skin that would not go away for months on my body that looked like venereal disease but I tested negative for all disease. My doctor prescribes steroid cream that helped stave off the inevitable.

I had rashes all the way up and down my legs. I would get winded walking up stairs like I had led feet. I had 20/20 vision I lost 10% of my eyesight nearly overnight. I had to see an Optometrist and get prescription glasses.

My head was a mess, my brain was misfiring and I was easily brought to anger and even "rants" that I seemed incapable of not falling into.

I drove everyone who loved me away.

Although getting off the hydrocodone, mostly the Tylenol which was at toxic levels, this was an improvement but the disease was progressing faster then I was able to keep up with.

There was not only one thing wrong. There was at least three or four.

The Dr's attended to all of them but one.

The stomach surgery alone saved my life.

I am now disabled. The words ring back from the physical therapy trainer that said maybe you will never be able to get past the pain and have to just live with it. She said think about a rack of spare ribs. Try and stretch them and rip them apart and it is nearly impossible. My muscles were all tight and giving me horrible cramps in the morning right when I would first open my eyes. At that time a whole team of Dr's were trying to figure out what was my problem.

My disability pays for just about any major medical need other than dental.

I had a dead tooth. I mentioned it to nearly all of my doctors and they wrote it down but never said anything about it.

Here is were I get to the whole crux of why I am writing this seemingly overly personal story. (it feels that way to me)

Had medical and dental been a one stop shop I might not have lost 10% of my eyesight.

I noticed I had a discolored tooth next to my left front tooth.

The only dental coverage I had was extractions. The tooth did not even hurt or bother me. I was terrified about the tooth somehow just falling out and me being left with a hole there.

I never really seriously thought this tooth could be my "internal allergy"...

It was mostly to me a cosmetic concern because it did not hurt and was not even sore.

Just a slight darkness visible in the core of the tiny tooth.

I live in a modest income so I had to call a dental insurance company and pay my insurance out of pocket. I had to pay them a year before I could even have the root canal done. None of my doctors even suggested me seeing a dentist they just sent me to other doctors who fixed the symptoms and not the disease itself.

It was the decay in the tooth that was hitting my blood stream causing the rashes, dead skin, fevers and anxiety and eating the vitamin D and other nutrients out of my blood.

So I was over eating to compensate for being robbed of nutrition.

I waited a year I was almost literally dead. Being caught in it you just die without realizing why. I thought I was going to the dentist just to get a a root canal.

I first went to a regular dentist clinic, they sent me to an Endodontic dentist.

The dentist seem genuinely concerned about this tooth which actually surprised me. Once again honestly, this is not against my doctors the helped me too.

I am writing this so you will know the deep divide that lies between the medical and dental professions. I am here to say you can die if you do not realize this divide and do something about it.

If you don't have a discolored tooth then you are probably fine.

So the dentist drilled into my tooth.

The most vile and dark substance oozed out of my tooth. (gross, I know, sorry.)

My dentist went into his office and started dictating on the phone as if my case was quite unusual at the extent of the infection.

Like it kind a shocked him, almost supernatural ooze the dark demonic possessed tooth!

It turned out the tooth had done extensive damage to the bone above it.

The bone was nearly disintegrated and completely infected.

The link between vitamin D and my backache became evident.

He let my tooth drain for nearly 15 minutes then he shot antibiotics up into the bone cavity then put a temporary filling in the tooth.

No Novocaine was required because the tooth was already dead. The tooth had been dead for six years that I could remember and no telling if it was ever truly a healthy tooth.

I thanked the dentist and left his office. It was an hour walk to get to the dentist's office and I had to walk back home.

I got about three blocks away from his office and the first thing I noticed was my head itself. Like a veil had been lifted from it. I knew then something was radically changed. My brain was clear...

The second thing I noticed were my legs. Like a weight had been removed and they were easier to use. So the thing plaguing my muscles was now revealed. I found out what was "eating the vitamin D" in my body.

The cramps, anger fits and loss of personal stamina.

Had I not become strong in my youth I would never have sustained this huge trauma to my entire body.

The drama is not over yet, this tooth is still in my head.

Every three months he takes out the temporary filling, drains the tooth then packs the tooth roots and all the way up into the bone with paper type stuff and antibiotics.

So instead of a pouch of toxins I have a pouch of antibiotics up there. If this does not work he may need to cut the gums above the root of the tooth and put antibiotics in that way too.

I feel a serenity that I have not felt in years. My back still hurts but more like the levels like when I was a young child.

This is a plea to the US congress to break the divide between the medical and dental and there should only be one insurance that fits all...

Honest and gracious thanks to the many doctors that made this post possible and thanks to those who have read this and maybe take away something to think about.

Did you know...
15 of 16 Maine counties are federally designated dental shortage areas.

How? Angel...

transitions

'The Devils Ride' sneak peek: Rival biker gangs clash in violent face off
http://theclicker.today.com/_news/2013/02/15/16976489-the-devils-ride-sneak-peek-rival-biker-gangs-clash-in-violent-face-off?lite

Are shows like this really necessary? I am tired of sick low life scum bag producers deciding what entertainment is in this country. I go to the supermarket and they got blaring on the speakers trance music as if I would need to be shopping on ecstasy to actually enjoy the music...

And Fox broadcasting, the supposed "conservatives" are usually the vilest offenders.

The squeaky wheel sometimes gets replaced...

I got back from the dentist today, he filled my tooth with cement and a temporary filling. He said the tooth is still creating toxins... The moment he drained the tooth I felt 20 years younger. It it amazing how severe these toxins are and the effect they have on overall physical health and energy levels. I am now taking more antibiotics as of today. Hopefully the tooth will not respond unfavorably to being filled with cement.