My grandson is suicidal and blames me...

I need your help. My grandson is suicidal and I don't know what to do. He blames me. I need to know if you think I am responsible.

A few years ago, my grandson developed a mysterious pain problem following an injury to his feet. For three months, the pain was so intensive that he crawled around on the floor until he got a wheel chair. He became suicidal about it all and desperate and the whole family was desperate too. We now know that this strange problem can spread to new locations with new injuries and may have something to do with a metabolic issue. I live in Europe and he lived in the United States at the time.

About five months into the problem he could walk again and showed signs of improvement, but still occasionally talked about suicide because hanging his feet down resulted in explosive pain. He came to me and stayed in my home to see experts on the problem in Europe. When he came to stay with me, he had been to 30 doctors. After his tour of Europe to see University specialists who had published studies on the problem, he returned and felt that no one had helped him. This is where it gets complicated. I was worried about him, so without asking him, I set up an appointment at a local alternative medicine specialist. I did not tell my grandson I did this. The day of the appointment, I told him we were going to see this alternative medicine specialist. My grandson immediately said "no". I just kept getting ready. Then I stood in front of the door and said we were going. He said, "no" again and continued, "At best that will be a waste of our time and money." Then I stamped my foot, raised my voice and said, "Now you are going!" He grudgingly got off the couch and got in the car as I had ordered him to.

We got to the alternative medicine specialist and I went into the man's office with my grandson. The alternative medicine specialist said he would make injections on either side of my grandson's groin. Still not impressed and not wanting to be there, my grandson looked at me, but I didn't say anything and left the room. After that, the alternative medicine specialist injected something inches away from his pubic bone on both sides.

That night my grandson complained about discomfort in his groin. In fact, he never stopped saying there was pain in his groin after that. Over the next few years the pain in his feet went away as a result of a massive rehab program (he exercises two or more hours a day) but, the pain at the points of injection in his groin got worse and worse and worse. In spite of his exercises (often for hours each day) he could not get the pain in his groin under control. It had gotten to be so bad that he did not know if he could walk through cities with his Miss Germany finalist girlfriend anymore. And he started to hate sitting. My grandson had worked hard to put his life back together after the problem with his feet and was making $50,000 a year when the pain in his groin go to be so bad that he could not work anymore. He says he has been contemplating suicide for two years now because of this and spends 2 to 3 hours a day doing rehabilitation and has quit his work because he says when he works the blood flow drops and kills all of the dying cells more -- leading to even more explosive pain and even more disability. He is worried he cannot be loved anymore because at times he limps like a 95 year old man and doesn't have a full time job anymore. He is worried he will be reduced to begging at some point. He is considering hiking through Europe for six months to cure the problem so he can get back to work.

Now it gets really complicated. He blames me. He says that he has been to 80 or more doctors about his illness and none of them made him worse. Only the ONE person he was forced to see who was an alternative medicine specialist. He wishes he had never gone. And now he expects me submit to arbitration and pay for his: 1) 100% rehabilitation and medical costs, 2) 100% of lost income, 3) and a large part of his psychological damages associated with the problem in his groin. The problem is, that the studies he is quoting on psychological costs say that the pain in his groin and suicidal problems that have resulted have cost him almost $2.4 million in damages. That is a lot.

In two years I haven't apologized to him and I feel strongly that he had the problem before I took him to the specialist. I didn't want him to make injections. But my grandson blames me then for not having said this after I took him to the doctor against his will. He is in contact with suicide assistance organizations in Switzerland so that he won't have to kill himself by hanging or by train. Sometimes I am worried he wants to kill me. Though he has never said that to me.

Sometimes he blames the fact that he did what I ordered him to because he was beaten as a child by his mother who he said invented the art of screaming. And that I taught her how to do that with my many beatings of her and my (admittedly)bad behavior. And he can't stand having been brainwashed into doing what he was told to do and now he gets a kick in the butt for it all. He feels like he was only useful to the family as long as he was healthy and now that we have a responsibility to him, we would rather see him dead. But some people in the family think he is being rude for asking for financial compensation.

What should I do? What should the family do?