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Sun 23 Dec, 2012 05:15 am
Im 16.ive been talking to him since i was 13. Hes really cool,and ive met him online,but hes alot older than me(he was22 then)...so is it wrong?
I met him on runescape.he and i talked alot,but not really in the way you would think.we got into a deep conversation about the meaning of life and everything.then i wanted to continue talking so i gave him my number and now we text.
Normally,when i tell people this,they say,' be careful he might be a rapist' or whatever.ive dealt with that danger before,so i wasnt going to chance it again.im not stupid,i know how these things go down.but he was sort of...different...
Im not going to say hes sweet and caring and all that jazz because he isnt.hes monochrome mostly,but he tells the truth and we joke every once in a while. I had been cautions for an extremely long time of him,dispite my me talking to him because we had an interest in each others minds.we found each other interesting.he never told me i was sweet or kind or that he loved me,but we had a mutual like for one another.he wasnt the expressive type,but he was decent.
He gave off a big brother vibe really.when we talked he was aloof,'emo-like' i should say,but never rude.he told me he would never say anything to make me dbout him because hes always blunt and truthful.i accepted it,but it took me a while to actually believe it.weve been talking for three years now.and its still the same,only hes a bit warmer now.(still pretty emo acting though.) Hes never said anything like: 'i bet youre beautiful' or 'have you ever had sex?' Or 'dont worry,i understand you,im here for you.' The way i talk to him,is like the way im talking to you now.for a long time i thought he was trying to rope me in by being distant,anything that seemed likely i accused him of in my mind.
But hes actually just...kinda plain.but i like his personality and he likes mine.we just talk.and we never sent pictures of how we look untill last month.he told me i was pretty,but thats about it.he didnt milk it,or asked to see more...actually it was my idea.hes very smart and if i have a decision to make he gives his opinon-which i ususally listen to because hes a pretty intelligent adult.
Basically,were friends.we like speaking to each other because we like each others personality.i never swapped anything with him but names and a photo.(approprate of course) and he never asked for anything more or less.but when i tell people how old he is and where i met him they just assume ill end up another statistic.trust me,ive met millons of guys online that i find and like.everyone has l,and i know the tricks.i wont be a victim again,i assured myself of that.in all the 3 years weve talked,ive had my guard up for 2 of them.i know now he isnt after anything,and yet i still know in my mind to have a small space for skeptisim,like everyone does.i never put full trust into anybody.
What im asking is,is it wrong to care about him?to be friends with him,since dont know him in person? Is it truly possible to just find a nice person online and be friends?
@magicstorm101,
I don't know that it's necessarily wrong, but you are very young, and as you get older, so will he. For now, one might say that it's unwise. It will not be until you are in your 30s and he is in his 40s that the difference in ages will not longer matter. By the time you are 20 years old, he'll be nearly 30. The age disparity doesn't make it wrong, just not a good idea.
@Setanta,
Well, i mean,we dont plan on getting into a relationship.....
he told me it wouldnt be a good idea because of our ages.
@magicstorm101,
Well, he's correct about that. I'm bemused that you're concerned about whether or not it's "right." What do you mean by right? Sure, it's OK to have friends, on line and in person. I find it hard to believe that you are not heavily, emotionally invested in this alleged non-relationship. Otherwise, how would you explain that you've gone to this trouble to discuss it? Are you being honest with yourself about how you feel?
@Setanta,
Oh no i never said id didnt have feelings for him! I just said we were friends,but I do feel alot for him.i like him alot.more than anyone else.its just that i dont want to act on the feelings that i feel.i told him how i felt(although i never said 'i love you' or anything,just that i have strong feelings)
Its just im not sure if what im feeling is ok or not.i dont plan on acting on it,its just that i know so many close friends who do crazy things that make me mad betray me and their excuse is that theyre in love or whatever.i wanna have a normal friendship with him, without liking him.especially since hes made it clear that im just his friend.
@magicstorm101,
Men should not pretend to be girls.
If I am wrong, it sounds to me like you have it all in hand.. I cannot really see your issue as a question worth asking.
He has maybe programmed you quite adequately?
@magicstorm101,
i believe that love is ageless (not saying you two are in love, or that i would want my 16 yr old daughter dating an older man)
after three years, and he has not said anything perverted to you, id say once u hit 18 u are good to give it a shot.
@nothingtodo,
What? What do you mean men should not pretend to be girls? He never pretended to be a girl to me.
Or were you suggesting that i was a man pretending to be a girl?
In any case,im not sure what you mean by him 'programming' me.
@magicstorm101,
There is nothing wrong if you are just friends and it stays that way. There is no law against talking with someone older or younger than yourself as long as things don't get inappropiate. I would not agree to exchanging any other info. than you already have.
@magicstorm101,
Really, perhaps I misread..
Have you looked back at your life lately?
I mean outside of your views.
I only ask because it is of interest to many, who would not dare ponder such notions.
@nothingtodo,
Im afraid i dont understand exactly what you mean...
Im sorry if im being difficult.. :/
@magicstorm101,
Never mind, you are who you are and you clearly cannot be classed as programmed until criminality is the eventuality... As the others stated, try to avoid the wrong and all will be well.
I am starting to see the light, in all its ignorant splendor.
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