Is this an abusive and manipulating personality or I did wrong being too precaucious with my kids

I have divorced a year ago, and started this relationship with this very charming man, but slowly i started to see so many red flags. I am registered nurse and he is a fisherman. We met on a fishing trip in alaska where he works. We continued the long distance relationship for two months, then he came down to the lower 48 to visit me, and stayed for 3 months. As I was getting to know him, I did not want to introduce him to my kids yet. He agreed to respect this. However, I started to see behaviors that I did not want to care at the moment because I was blindly in love. He rented a room in a hotel next door to my apartment in town and I every night I cooked for him and took it to his room. At the beginning he said it was delicious, then started to say that it tasted like poop because it was farmed salmon, and not wild, then he said the tomato had a sticker so I was clumsy, then one morning I made him a full omelet, with everything, OJ, coffee, croissants, etc to his room, I took him to the city, rented a bike for him, payed his ticket in the train. I asked him if he liked his BF and he complained that he found a hair.
I felt bad but did not say anything. I don't have a job yet because I am waiting for my work permit, so I work as volunteer at the hospital, study and work out for triathlon. I had my schedule, but when he came he asked me to stop getting locked in in things because that is the reason he came and he wanted to spent time with me, i stopped swimming and biking because he wanted to try to make some money with me. He asked me to go storage auctions. I went to so many of them, and he asked me to work with him emptying the units full of junk, I did, I work as a monkey lifting boxes, carrying back and forth junk in my car. I did not like to go, but he said is teh way for us to be together an have an income and spend the day together. The he asked me to sell them, I started to sell them, but I did not have luck and I was scammed with some books. He was so mad at me because he said I told me to offer each one of the book and not as a bulk. I wanted to do some fun staff together, like go swimming together, or biking, or to the beach, but all he wanted was go to storage auctions and prove if he could work with me, He said he was looking for a partner and a woman with whom he could work and have as a girlfriend too. I tried so hard, I gave up everything, I stopped doing all what I was doing to go with him to the auctions, neglected my children teenagers, alone in the apartment after school, he said it was a trade off since I was not telling my kids about him, so I should spend most of my time with him. he said that i was stupid for selling the books to a scam. How would I have known?
He hoped that after he would come back from Ak again, would want me to tell my kids and come and stay living in an RV out of my place. He left for 4 months and we continued the long distance relationship talking every night. I went to visit him in Ak and stayed for a week. He did not take any time off, because he said he needed the money. He said he would try to find a place for us to stay, but then when I arrived he said he could not have time to do it and that he had not money. I stayed with him in his van and then I rented a cabin. I hoped he would like it, better than being in the van, but he said it was too rustic,
I went fishing at 4 am and working with him 5 days in a row, I actually worked and cut my hands with the hooks every day. He said that I was doing things wrong and that's why I cut my hands. I got a lot of tips from the passengers, but he said I should get more because i should smile more to the guys. I did not want to flirt to the passengers but he asked me to flirt them to get more money. I asked him if he cared, and he said is part of the business, I became seasick in the boat for the last two days, but I did no give up, I kept working to spend my time with him. The tips i got i gave them to him. Then he would separate three parts for the other workers and give me a fraction of theirs. I clean the boat afterwards everyday, prepared the rods, the reels, the bate. I felt good I was doing this to please him and show him I could work with him.
The last afternoon I could not take the seasickness anymore and I left the boat, stayed on land and rented a bike. He asked me not to rent the bike and stay with him on board the last afternoon. The sea was very rough and choppy, I told him that i wished I could, but I needed some time to rest and I will see him in three hours when he came back, He was upset when he came back from the boat, because he said I did not care what he said and did not listen to him.
I felt bad because I wanted him to be proud of me, for all I learned in the boat, to show him I could work with him and the extra tips I made.
When I left, he did not take me to the airport because had to work. I took a taxi I said I would wait for him to go back down, He said he hoped so, but did not know what the future hold.
We kept talking every night, but two weeks after he said he needed a break, because was tired that I made him feel bad without being able to talk anytime and being secretive since I did not tell my children, he also said that could not continue the relationship because I was broke still without a job.
It was so hurtful, he blame me for not being open with my family about him. I was just not ready to move forward, and scared me that he would be so invasive at home with my children telling them what to do.
. I am brokenhearted because he wanted a break,He wanted to take time, because he could not give me his love anymore until I fix my issues of not having a work permit and freedom to date in front of my children.I just don't feel ready to introduce him to them. It is a big deal to do something like that, I don't want to confuse them. During the time we took a break of talking on the diatnce, I went camping with my kids to sierra nevada. We did gold panning and found gold flakes.After two weeks he called me to know how I was doing and I told everything I did, including what we found in the river. He was so amazed about the finding that he asked me to claim the site. He said he would came back down from ak to stay with me and work together in the river. That he would wait until I feel ready with my kids. I did all the research and learn how to claim a mine site. He asked me to do it under his name because i don't have a SSN. I submit it to the state office, however it was denied because the site was private land. He changed his attitude that day and said he has just been offered a job in Ak and would not came back for a while.
We talked for a couple of days, then one day I was so tight on money that I could not register my daughter in after school sports so I had to sell my wedding ring. I told him about it, thinking he would be happy that I had not regrets on selling it because I am over that marriage. He got very mad, saying that I was inconsiderate, that I don't listen to him, that I don care about him, because he is looking for gold in slavation army stuff to build his equity. That I should have offered it to him first and he would have bought it from me, I said I would have never thought you wanted to have my wedding ring, for what it means, He said he does not mind, because he was going to melt it down.
I cant believe I am writing this.
He asked for a break that very same day, because I was not considerate to him. He said again that I need to fix my issues of speaking to my kids about him and get a visa to work, or keep doing the auctions on my own. I did not like the auctions, they are so ugly. He said if i did them, he would be with me together. I said that I will get my things together , speed up the divorce file, so I can tell my children and try harder to get my work permit , waiting for him to be with me.
It has passed 5 months and I called him for his birthday, he was very distant and surprised. he said he was getting ready to go out because he was dating somebody.
It was a killer.
He said that I wont believe him, but he was dating because he could not forget me and he is trying, but still loves me. I asked him how he can be with another woman and still say he loves me. He said he still thinks of me very much and is trying to forget me with this other person, because is so hard to be alone.
He said that he had hope that life will get us back together and asked me if I was ready to go back with him. He blamed me that we were not together because I did so many mistakes, being secretive and not listening to him on keep doing the storage sale auctions, not listening to him when he asked me not to go on my own one afternoon in alaska, that I took him for granted.
I said I was almost ready, that I would take him back, but still the visa is not ready and and the children did nit know about him, but I would tell them now.
After I answered him, he said he wants to take a chance with this person now, that he can not decide and maybe later if life wishes he hopes we can see if we can work things out again.
I felt so manipulated and abused, I still love him, but I said no. I feel he wants to keep me a possible chance always. I said I have been waiting for him to come back for 5 months and make me prove I can be with him with conditions, I take him the way he is, without a stable job, without a place to live. He said that made him feel so bad that I did not answer the phone during the day when he called, because I did not want to speak in front of my children. But I texted him to tell him I would call him later when the children were in bed. He said he needed me and was not there for him, that I only talk when is convenient to me.
Please tell me if this is a kind of narcissist personality behavior, abusive, manipulating, or I was wrong on being secretive with my children.