Fri 23 Nov, 2012 05:30 pm
Let me just start out by saying that I have a problem that could turn massive if I don't get proper advice.
So I've recently met (what I think) is the man of my dreams. He's 26, I'm 21. I know the age difference sounds immature but we are both full time students pursuing our careers. This guy is everything I want: He's handsome, charming, likable, suave, treats me decent, and the sex is out of this world. We go on dates from time to time, each have our own apartment, spend nights together, and watch lots of movies and TV with great conversations. I really like him and we have been going like this for three months nearly. The problem is, a big number of people in his life recently passed. I've been there for him, given him space, been supportive and patient. The people he lost happened in the past 6 months range sporadically. A few nights ago, I confessed that I would like to potentially be his girlfriend and be with him some day. I also told him that if we were in a relationship, I wouldn't be bothered about the time limits since we are both in college and working. He told me he is suffering from depression and not emotionally available for a relationship right now. He also said he might be moving to another state in a year and half, (coincidentally one of the top five states I plan to maybe finish my masters degree in.) I did not tell him that though because I didn't want to scare him off. After the talk, I told him I respect him and asked him if he wanted to still see me. He said definitely. The rest of the night we cuddled on and off and watched movies with pizza. He paid. It seems like we are everything but the girlfriend/boyfriend label. Does a label matter nowadays? Should I drop this guy or keep living my life to the fullest? I'm a published author, own my own coffee shop, and work for the college newspaper. I'm a very independent woman and he likes that about me. I'm just asking if you think I should continue seeing him. We hang out at college, see each other and have sleepovers and great sex and dates. After what he told me, I am perfectly content with no label..right now. I don't plan to confront him for a while. I want to see if he will fall for me on his own terms. He also says he only plans to see me and I felt the same. (I turned down a lot of guys who recently asked me out.) The only thing I was concerned about was him saying to me "My biggest fear would be hurting you," "I've never been good in relationships." and "It wouldn't be fair to you to not give my whole self away." Those lines shiver me but I'm so content without the label after he told me everything. Am I being too nice or does his reasons sound legitimate? I know I am anyone's dream girl. I changed a lot from being a once depressed person. I take care of myself, have a wonderful clean image, am very bubble and sweet, am quiet when the time needs to be, I cook and clean for him too. It's like we're everything but the label. Thoughts and opinions? I just know many women face the situation of getting involved with a guy who is "emotionally unavailable". Thanks so much for your time!!!
is he into huge paragraphs as well?
I think you mebbe think too much...
I don't talk like this in real life. I am a writer so i give the play by play of the story. My story. This is how I wrote it so people could see what I am involved with. Is there a limit for writing here?
Also mebbe is spelled "maybe"
Can I have proper advice please?
you already do all the things a girlfriend might do. mebbe more.
why should he commit?
why do you want a label?
(I'll spell my words the way I like 'em)
I think it odd that you haven't held hands, but the sex is awesome.
there is something screwy about that in my world...
you sound more like a ****-buddy with cleaning skills to me.
Yeah it is weird. Like it's everything but the hand holding yet he takes me out like a gentlemen? :/
I wonder if some guys are intimidated by successful women. This has happened a few times before from guys telling me up front I'm too good for them or I'm too precious to be messed with. (I didn't sleep with those guys.)
also what does NSFW mean.
some guys are wacko.
same for some girls.
be yourself, respect yourself and have fun.
love will find you.
NSFW is for folks surfing the web when they are supposed to be working.
so it isn't my fault they lose the job they are supposed to be doing...
I'm even a woman, and I don't see where any "potential problems" are.
I think Rocky and I have mebbe given you the best advice t here is.
wait...so you think what i am going through is normal? with the no label thing? i'm just not used to it but if this happens a lot that is fine. I've been used to ex boyfriends wanting me as their girlfriend after 5 or 6 dates.
I respect maybe some people go slow.
I don't see that you're going through anything.
okay. well then in that case i will just continue the way everything is. i do want to know has anyone ever had a guy say "i am emotionally unavailable". I feel like I have heard this line before. lol
if he still wants to boink you over pizza, most likely he is unavailable because he is emotionally barren or stunted.
some people just won't or can't commit.
yeah that makes sense. plus he has been screwed over by ex fiances and ex girlfriends before. im going to be delicate and understanding.
Great. Mission accomplished.
You've asked for advice from total strangers and have made up your mind to do whatever it is we said. Which I didn't say to do anything or not.
In other words, the responsibility is off your shoulders, and if something goes wrong it's not your fault.
I really don't understand people who come onto forums and ask for relationship advice from people they don't know from a cake of soap.
You might be asking two people who have never held onto something beyond a one night stand, and you're just going along.
Mebbe you should ask yourself why you're asking us, people you know less about than the person standing next to you at the car wash, while your car goes through the brushes.
I think it's best you don't call me on my psychic hotline, chai...
(and please don't tell her my girlfriend is make believe, and I live in an abandoned trailer in the woods)
i dont agree with rockhead saying he thinks of me as a **** buddy but i agree with the live your life part.....theres a few things i dont agree with. i was just posting this because i was bored and wanted feedback. im sure that advise wouldnt hurt and i could always think about it. i dont mind getting advice from strangers for fun. this advice was better than my friends.
i have girlfriends telling me to screw a lot of guys to find the right one and im pretty old fashioned.
I should really start a psychic website.
I'll tell people their auras are not working in synergy.