this is really long, i just need to know what is up with this guy i had a brief fling with

first off, i would like to say that i have a general idea: he's just not that into me.

this is a fine answer, there are just some "chick things" that he's been doing so i'm naturally reading into them a little. there is going to be a TON of detail because i am interested in an analysis. i do NOT want to date this guy, i was interested, but now i am curious about what his deal is, why he acted this way, etc.

i got out of a 5 year relationship at the beginning of may and my ex and i were still living together until he found another place. i was hanging out with a guy (let's call him bob) who worked at my job after i did, but we never worked with each other, just met through mutual friends. i met his roommates and hung out there all the time with one of my girlfriends. eventually things with bob (just making out) stopped because he was still seeing his ex and i didn't want to get involved.

my ex was a horrible alcoholic and after an argument i went to the boys' house to get away. the roommates had a friend (let's call him jack) visiting from another state and i was immediately attracted to him. my ex got a dui the next day and i bailed him out and dropped him off at home. i had quit smoking for a few months, but foolishly bought a pack out of stress. after i got back to the boys' house, the ex calls and says he's locked out. jack went with me because i didn't want to go alone and we really got along on the drive. we didn't talk about sex, he just shared a cigarette with me and let me vent about my relationship and was really decent. later that night all of us were drunk on one roommate's bed and he had his arm around me, totally flirting, blah blah, tried to kiss me and i resisted, but just that first night.

from there, jack and i hung out in group settings and he was very interested. when we were watching movies together he stole people's seats to sit next to me and when i got to the house he'd open my car door, etc. eventually we started going to his room and make out. i was very adamant about not being ready to sleep with someone else and he said he understood but very clearly wanted to have sex with me. this continued for a few days, one time not even leading to kissing, just watching a show and sleeping together. i never stayed in his room. when the night was "over" i always went out to the couch to sleep and he always tried to get me to stay with him.

my birthday was that week, and i met up with them downtown at one point. jack bought me a drink, but they didn't follow me around (which was fine). i ended up meeting them again later that night as the bars were closing. i was sitting on a pool table with one of the roommates who had his arm over my shoulder. jack was sort of behind me, had his arm around my waist and was resting his head on my shoulder. from the beginning jack struck me as a player, and i wasn't sure if this kind of behavior was normal for players. i thought they avoided cuddly physical affection but i may be wrong.

two days after my birthday i met up with them downtown again and jack was talking to another girl in their group, didn't acknowledge me, so i was ready to leave. as i get up, jack grabs my arm and says "you're not even going to say hi to me?" totally friendly. he was definitely flirting with the other girl, so i was wary. she ended up back at their house but, from what i heard, slept in one of the roommates beds. i do not think this happened. i used this later to defend me not wanting to have sex, something immature like "you could just call chelsea again" with a smile. he said he didn't, and then said, also smiling "that really bothers you that she was over here doesnt it?" to which i replied "no, you can do your own thing, i just don't sleep with guys like you." or something to that effect. i remember he seemed to take some offense but still wanted me to sleep in his bed that night.

the last time we did anything was the day before he started a temp job. he asked if i could give him a ride in the morning which i agreed to (i was promised "undying love and respect" in compensation which i found amusing), and later that night i went over to hang out with him but he was really tired and not up for anything. he just wanted me to sleep with him but i decided to leave. he texted me as i was leaving telling me a few times to not go but i said i'd just be back in the morning.

we got along during the drive (it was about 20 minutes) and ended up being early so we wasted some time getting food. i didn't kiss him or anything when he got out of the car and if i remember correctly he didn't really attempt to either. this is where everything started to get weird.

1) later that day my girlfriend and i went over to hang out, i texted the guy asking if he wanted to go to his room and he responded "lol not now" which i assumed was because people were around, which is still weird. why would he care?
2) someone had mentioned previously that i messed around with bob (he was never home or even friends with them) and jack showed surprise ("you hooked up with BOB?"). he often brought it up when we were in his room, which was next to bob's. if bob had music playing too loudly, jack would say something like "oh you can ask him to turn it down, you guys are friends." i didn't know if he was messing around or actually jealous
3) he and the other guys were reading the "50 shades" series. i asked jack if i could read it and he said "no i have some pages tabbed in there." i said "so what"and he said he didn't want me reading it. of course when he wasn't home and i was there, i flipped through the book. the only page i remember was on that was talking about the main girl's inexperience (i've only been with that one boyfriend for 5 years) and how she belonged to the main guy or something. didn't read into it, maybe i should have.
4) he started hardly talking to me at all. i went outside to smoke twice in a ten minute period and he walked by and said "chain-smoking tonight, huh?" and then ignored me the rest of the night. another time we were all testing some fancy beers, he and i both went to get glasses, and when he got his he turned to face the other boys and was right up against me with his hand resting on my hip to talk to them. didn't say a thing to me the rest of the night.
5) completely started ignoring me. wouldn't look at me, wouldn't talk to me. i had met up with some work people for a drink and offered to give bob a ride home. i suggested we all play a video game on the big living room tv. jack responded "there's a tv in bob's room" and that's all. i still wasn't having sex with anyone, and i definitely wasn't doing anything with bob, so i'm not sure why he had an attitude with me suddenly.
6) a week ago (this all happened in june) i decided to add him on facebook for the hell of it. i figured he'd either add me or delete me and that would be it. when i checked a day or two later, he had been on there, added 18 other people and completely ignored mine. i don't do this, and i certainly don't think guys do. with the way he was treating me, i figured he'd just say "nope, screw this chick" and decline it.
7) last night i went to a bar to meet some friends and ran into one of the roommates who i am still close with. jack had gone back home in september but was there that night. i wasn't aware of any talking or eye contact but the roommate loudly said my name when he saw me and he was sitting next to jack. when they left later, the roommate came back again to say goodbye and chat for a minute. jack had gone outside with the rest of them, but came back inside right up to the roommate to say they were heading outside. i was thinking "of course you're going outside, you're all leaving together." that is something i would do, maybe other girls too. purposely put yourself in the line of sight of someone you want to notice you, but don't say anything to them. let them see you and then walk off.

i'd like to conclude this by saying this is obviously not a guy i want to date. i'm strictly curious with the behavior. if this guy is such a player or gets so many girls, shouldn't he be smoother? what was any of his motivation? guys always seem straightforward but this one left me confused. i want to know what the hell this is so i can recognize it in the future.