What did she do?

I wouldn't sit around wondering, I would ask her.

What immediately comes to my mind is what did she say when you asked her?

Of course, you asked her, right?

And I would ask myself why I had been so unconscious ....

Joe(Excuse me, he said, I think I used to know you.)Nation

i'd ask her politely rather than spculating..

I did ask her. At first she said she did nothing. After I didn't buy that she said she drank, which I already knew. A few days later she said she smoked and drank, a few days later she said she smoked, drank, and gambled. I already knew this. So the question is, what did you do that I DONT know about? I told her I didn't believe her and said I thought she probably crossed the line sexually with someone. She didn't see how I could think that. What I am looking for here is what other people would think given the same situation. I have a hard time believing her because when I confronted her the first time she said she did 'nothing', each time after that she said more. So not only the hiding stuff from me, but the bold lie to my face when she knew she was busted.

My wife and I were in Venice sitting on a hotel balcony overlooking the Grand Canal. We were joined by 2 girls in their mid 20s and a boy about the same age. Conversation let to what our favorite city was. When my wife's turn came she stated her favorite city of all time is Las Vegas. That answer surprised me.

We have been all over the US, Seattle, Colorado, California, Big Sur,caribbean, and now Italy. She had been to many European countries as well. In our 6 years together I had not gone to Vegas with her as she goes for conferences and once with a friend of hers.

At some point during the evening I get up to use the restroom. As I am walking away into the darkness I hear my wife ask one of the girls for a drag of her cigarette. My wife is a nursing professor at a major college and specializes in asthma. This comment made me stop in my tracks. The girl gives her the cigarette and asks says, 'Your husband doesn't know you smoke?'. My wifes answer is 'No, and he doesn't know what I do when I go to Vegas either'.

I was in shock. Not only to hear this, but to hear it in the middle of a 2 week vacation in Italy. Venice is one of the most romantic cities in the world. Needless to say, for me, I didn't leave Venice in a romantic frame of mind.

I am asking, in your opinion, with just the above information. If this happened to you with your spouse, what would you think he/she is hiding from you? I know what I think and I believe the majority of people will agree with me. I jsut want to make sure I am not way off base with my thought.

~~~

You are a high school student in College Prep courses.
This is either part of an assignment or just a lark on your part.
Based on your use of numbers instead of words, you are female, white, and you live in California or somewhere on the West Coast.
You have never been to Venice.
You smoke. Bad girl.

Thanks for playing.

Joe(omigod he's right)Nation

Sorry Joe. I live in FL, am 47, male. Just really bewildered at this whole situation. Trying to figure out if I am being taken advantage of by my wife. We went to Italy Sept 1st. Rome, Naples, Isle of Capri, Venice, Florence, Siena, Montapolciano, Rome. We had a one day stop over in Lisbon Portugal on the way back.

Women and men in their mid-twenties usually don't like to be called girls and boys. (irrelevant, I know)

Depending on her tone of voice, or even with a certain possibly questionable tone, she could have been semi joking, in that she knew you wouldn't appreciate drinking, gambling, and, egads, smoking, and got a kick out of telling someone else about it.

Whether this thread post is legit or not (hey, I sometimes use numbers), we don't own each other, including in marriage.

Your suspicious mind might be correct, but if it isn't, and it well might not be, her responses make sense. (I'm a woman)

if she said "I smoke, drink, gamble, get stoned and have sex with Negroes", I'd say "Whoa! It's 1953 and I must be Ernest Hemingway!"

I like to think that is the case. The part that throws me is that when I asked her about it she just lied and said she did nothing in Vegas. Slowly after that she came out with the drinking, gambling, things I already knew.

Presumably she thought all that was nothing.


Or, of course, maybe not. Maybe she thought you'd go into lecture mode, with hyper concern, and didn't want to hear it. None of your business anyway. (Probably her thinking, why she likes the city, she could have fun as herself)
It might even be that her picking Las Vegas was a way to open that conversation.

Or she felt guilty re your expectations, and was seeing a guilt trip escalating.

Or she was seeking escorts for one of our bot spammers on a2k. (sorry, a joke)

Or she had a flirtation. People do flirt in that atmosphere.

Or she slept with five colleagues. Doesn't sound like it.


You two need to talk more, and you need to listen to her opinions as well as give yours.

I think she relaxed and had fun without someone looking over her shoulder questioning her every action and comment and getting all suspicious about what she might have done.

Since you and she had the funds to travel around the world and you do not rightly or wrongly trust your wife word when it come to her conduct in Las Vegas I would suggest having a private investigator check her conduct out the next time she visit sin city.

Thank god that I do not have that problem even when my wife is spending a few months in that town without me.

See the results of a fast google search.

7251 West Lake Mead Boulevard
Las Vegas
(702) 562-4226
Izon Investigationswww.izoninvestigations.com/You +1'd this publicly. Undo
1 Google review 4535 West Sahara Avenue
L
as Vegas
(702) 257-3885
Dorothy Williams-Jamal Ltdwww.williams-jamal.com/You +1'd this publicly. Undo

Google+ page 11700 West Charleston Boulevard #170
Las Vegas
(702) 203-3130

Sin City Private Investigatorswww.sincitypi.com/You +1'd this publicly. Undo
1 Google review 2915 West Charleston Boulevard
Las Vegas
(702) 870-5131

Griffin Investigations Incwww.griffininvestigations.com/You +1'd this publicly. Undo
Google+ page Las Vegas
(702) 380-3801

De Becker Investigations, Inc. - Private Investigator Las Vegaswww.debeckerinvestigations.com/You +1'd this publicly. Undo
As Las Vegas private investigators, Exclusive Investigations offers Domestic/ Spousal Surveillance, Background Checks and Utility Searches. Call Us Today for ...

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Oh one last comment no one on this system know her or you or anything about your history and relationship so asking us our opinion if you had reason to be concern over her short statement to others and her explaining that statement is not likely to get you any worthwhile results.

Whether she is cheating or not cheating you have serious problems in your marriage as you do not have the trust levels that is assume in any health marriage.

Being in your shoes and not having trust in my wife I would first find out if my lack of trust have any foundation in the real universe and even if the report clear her I would get both of us into married counseling.

A casual comment to strangers that you had overheard should not had trigger your questioning in a health relationship.

It could be nothing... just a comment from one woman to another, you know, the way some men do.

You could be making a mountain out of a molehill, but really, you should be talking to her, not us.

Even if some of us jumped to the same conclusion you did, it doesn't mean we're right.

The only way out of this is to discuss it with her.

Are you for real?

Yes, I am for real now what do you not like, that I suggested he get married counseling as he does no seems to have the trust level in his partner that is needed for a marriage or that if he feel that way he might wish to spend the funds needed to check if his lack of trust had any foundation in facts?

That lack of trust might not have any foundation in real life however he does know her and so there might be some real reasons for his lack of trust that he had picked up beyond a casual comment to strangers and it would be helpful to know for sure and put that issue to bed as a first step.

This is what I think. Your wife is a good girl. Her idea of a wild weekend is a few too many drinks, a few stupid flirts, a few smokes and a wicked hangover.
What goes on in Vegas, may be a secret but it's a to cover a stupid, wasted weekend. Your wife was having a dick contest with the 20 yr old chippie, who's prettier, carefree and young. Mostly young.
Your wife was drunk after a few glasses of chianti and she was feeling her age and talking herself up.
Get over it.
Stop making her feel guilty for wanting to feel human, younger, more desirable, livin' in the glory days.. yada yada.
Let it go. Don't embarrass her, just love her.

There it is in a nutshell.
Way to go, Ceili.

~I still don't buy it. Let's review.

He's over forty, he says.
The two of them have been together only six years, so this is either his first foray into the world of monogamous relationships rather late in life or this is a second, third (been there, done that) coupling for him (who knows about her?) and he's been thunderstruck by a silly comment his wife made to a stranger.

It makes good fiction IF he can conjure up a, before undetected, secret life for his spouse.

If I was writing this, I'd slowly reveal his own proclivities.

They would be duller than anything he imagines happened in Vegas.

Thus beginning his long spiral.

Joe(and the beginning of her wondering just what the hell happened.)Nation