23 and hysterectomy.

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I am 23 years old and I have to get a hysterectomy. I was blessed to of already had three children and because of this new news, I now feel there was definitely a reason I became a mother so young.
I have a bad case of endometriosis and my doctor feels this is the only solution to help me and to prevent it from coming back and from further issues down the line. I trust him completely.
However, I did have my tubes tied after my last baby but I have always regretted it. I always thought that 10 years down the road I could get it reversed as discussed with my doctor and that helped me cope. But now that I will be getting my woman-hood stripped from me, I am feeling very depressed. It's starting to take a toll on my relationship with my husband in several departments. There was already a wedge because we can't be intimate like before due to the pain, but now it's that plus more. I don't know how to get over this hump and just learn how to deal with the fact I will never be able to have another child. I also had plans on becoming a surrogate and helping other women gain their dream of becoming a mother and now that will be gone too. I go Tuesday to make all the definite surgery plans with my Obgyn but I can't wait that long to get feedback. What will it be like after a hysterectomy? What's the recovery like both physical and mental?

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Are your tubes and ovaries going to be removed? If not, then you will just get the uterus removed. Your hormones won't be affected at all.

If you get a total hysterectomy, then you may be placed on hormones. Work with your Dr. to know your baseline level so you know what you should aim for all along.

Yes, 23 is young for this to happen, But you will feel better.

I had a partial, then 3 years later had to have the tubes and ovaries out. I have alway felt very good all along.

Know your body, I say. But in NO WAY are you being stripped of your womanhood. You are not a baby making machine. You are a full, feeling woman and should look forward to developing your mind and body for the future.

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@PUNKEY,

He is going to try to keep both ovaries in but said most likely my right will have to come out as well.

I know I shouldn't feel like I am being stripped, but I do. I feel like I am going to be "less" of a woman after this. I can't help it. I don't know how to get around that.

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@Mkell1,

One of the risk factors of having endometriosis is impaired fertility and the inability to have children. So, you've got very few options. Ten years down the road, you'd be 33 years old, probably too old to have additional children. In addition to the endometriosis, the scarring from the tubal ligation would make it additionally difficult for you to become pregnant. You have 3 wonderful children. Love them and be happy.

You would have less chance of recurrence of the endometriosis if you have both ovaries removed. The estrogen in the remaining ovaries can still stimulate the endometriosis and cause you further pain and surgery. Leaving the ovaries can also lead to increased chance of ovarian cysts. Six years ago, I had a large ovarian cyst removed along with a total hysterectomy. I was not nearly as young as you, but I still remember the constant pain, awful bleeding and severe anemia from the cyst. It isn't something I'd want to go through again if I can avoid it.

Previous to this, has your doctor done any hormone therapy to see if it would help ease up the endometriosis with added hormones?

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@Mkell1,

Quote:

But now that I will be getting my woman-hood stripped from me, I am feeling very depressed.

You aren't getting your "womanhood" stripped from you. A medical procedure is being performed to improve your health and your life. Go hug your three children and remind yourself how much of a woman and mother you are and how much better your time with them will be when you are more healthy and feeling better.

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@Mkell1,

Don't trust your doctor completely. Educate yourself about endometriosis and what options you have. Ask questions. Get a second opinion. Make an informed choice to either live with the pain and complication or have a medical procedure performed to eliminate the pain and complications.

As to what it is like post-hysterectomy, it is a lot like what you would have experienced going through menopause when you are older.

I'll tell you one thing, I do not miss a single day of my painful menstrual cycles; not one single moment of it or the cost of the supplies.

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@Mkell1,

You seem to have been raised with thinking womanhood is birthing, a reason for being. I don't quite know what to say to that, except to acknowledge you think that is true.

A long time ago I had a friend who was in her late teens with endometriosis. We both worked at a good hospital essentially after school. She was dealing then with never being able to have children at all.

I'm way older now and I've had almost countless female friends who have had similar situations, of many varieties. All of them are still women, fully women.

Listen to Butrflynet, she knows what she is talking about.

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@Butrflynet,

He went over the other options with me and he explained that although they could help with the constant pain, they would only be temporary relief. Also, I hate taking medicine as it is, even tylenol. So the options of being on hormones or the other medications he has described would not work for me. I am definitely blessed and am thankful to already have the children I have. I am from a large family, one of 6 kids, and I love children. So because of that, I have the fear of not being able to have more and to bring more children into my life. I am aware that other women are not so lucky to even have one, and I feel for them.
What I am getting at is how do I cope with getting away from my feelings of being depressed that I can't have any more. I know that doing this procedure is what is best for me and my health, that is why I am going through with it. But how do I manage feeling sad?

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@Mkell1,

Well - there's always adoption. Just throwing that out there. Please don't think I am minimizing your feelings. But there are, of course, lots of ways to have a large family.

As for managing your feelings, have you spoken with your doctor about this? I am not suggesting medication (my mother is also not big on meds but sometimes, yanno, ya gotta take 'em). Rather, I am suggesting a referral to a therapist, to speak with an objective, impartial observer about how you are feeling.

I think it's also the transition, e. g. you're going through what is a lot like menopause but it's happening 2 1/2 decades (or so) earlier than expected. You have a new way to think about yourself, and look at yourself. But that new woman is just as wonderful, beautiful, thoughtful, kind, loving, funny, etc. as You, Version 1.0.

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23 and hysterectomy.

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