Well - there's always adoption. Just throwing that out there. Please don't think I am minimizing your feelings. But there are, of course, lots of ways to have a large family.
As for managing your feelings, have you spoken with your doctor about this? I am not suggesting medication (my mother is also not big on meds but sometimes, yanno, ya gotta take 'em). Rather, I am suggesting a referral to a therapist, to speak with an objective, impartial observer about how you are feeling.
I think it's also the transition, e. g. you're going through what is a lot like menopause but it's happening 2 1/2 decades (or so) earlier than expected. You have a new way to think about yourself, and look at yourself. But that new woman is just as wonderful, beautiful, thoughtful, kind, loving, funny, etc. as You, Version 1.0.