A random guy called me beautiful?

Thanks Thomas.

I did that just this morning.
I started a new job last week, and so far so good.

There's one person that, while quite nice, just has one of those faces/demeanors that looks like she's not happy. I get it that that is just how her face is built. When I first arrived at work, I made a stop in the ladies, and she was there washing her hands.
First thing I noticed was that the color she was wearing really suited her, and I directly told her so.

It was nice to see how her face softened. She just gave a simple "thanks" but it seemed obvious "to me at least" that this was a color she too liked, and felt good that someone else noticed it.

I don't get at all why someone would hold a compliment back. Of course you don't want to say it in such a way that would lead the person to believe you meant more, but I cannot see the harm in someone telling anyone else something nice.

Ooooooo....wait a minute, I just thought of another compliment, even better.

During my orientation, I've gone out with several people in the field. Today I went with someone to a nursing home. While waiting in the lobby, this very elderly woman was slowly traveling in her w/c in our general direction. Now, if someone was just going on looks, you might have thought she was very unhappy. I knew better, having worked for so long with the geriatric population. Several times when I looked over at her, she was looking back, but would look away. I knew she was just curious about a person she'd never seen before, or if she was more confused, I was just something to look at.

When she came closer, I raised my hand and said "hi there" and she got a small smile, as in hello back at me.
Then I said "You sure got a sweet smile there" and she just looked off with a wonderful look on her face, smiling wider, with a happy look in her eye. I don't know if she remembered that 30 seconds later, but she was pleased at how sweet her smile was at that moment.

When we were leaving I said to the co-worker I was with "When she smiled, I could see the 17 year old girl in her, and she sure was beautiful.

He said "she must have been a hottie"
I said "She still is. You're a hottie until you say you're not."

If you're afraid one person out of a dozen, or a hundred, will take your saying something nice to them wrong....You're missing out on making the other 11, or 99 feel good.

When did we give up on saying someone's hair looks good, or that the color they're wearing suits them?

I'll bet a hundred bucks it WAS bitch!

I hope that a few of the people who put off saying something nice to someone else are inspired by this.

Okay, but if I get a black eye, you'll be the first to hear about it.

I hope so too ehbeth.

I'll even do this one better.

Where I've gotten a job is at a hospice. Even though I'm working in the office, for the first 2 weeks they have all new people spend a few mornings or afternoons shadowing a nurse, social worker, aide, etc.

Last week I went out with an RN, and one of the visits was to a really wonderful ladies home.

She came to the door, the nurse introduced me as we came in. As we shook hand the woman said "My! You've got lovely dimples!"

I burst out laughing and thanked her, because honestly, I'd forgotten I had dimples. We were there about half an hour, and we both really enjoyed our conversation while the nurse did her thing.

Now....if someone who knows they are going to be dead probably within the year can take a moment to say something nice to a stranger.....what's holding you back?

Life's too short, and I don't want to be on my death bed wishing I'd told someone they had pretty eyes, for fear they'd take it the wrong way.

I've found folks viewing their own mortality to be some of the most genuinely friendly people there are...

I never gave up on that, I still like to do it when it fits - I notice and say. I'm very visual in my attention. I met EdgarBlythe for something like fifteen minutes. He knows I liked his shirt, and it was true, I definitely liked his shirt, and him. I never ever ever do that as a manipulation thing, I can't stand manipulation - not saying you do Chai, as I don't think you do.

There was a woman in front of me in a grocery line a few years ago that clearly was going through chemo. She had worked a scarf in an excellent way, she was looking strong and good (that particular time). I said I liked her scarf do. I was glad I did and she was too.

The guy in the thread post? It's not clear to me (or the poster) what was going on.

I don't think I know how to manipulate someone with compliments. That would be too weird.

My compliments are off the cuff, and don't involve any gushing or prolonged discussion after I'd said whatever I said.

IMO, saying something nice should be dropped on someone as you're moving through their aura. Then you just keep moving. Otherwise it might turn into some big thing that you've got to go online and discuss and question.

Some of the best compliments are when you drop them on someone you're passing in the opposite direction, in a parking lot or something, without breaking stride.

is it manipulating if you are just trying to help that person feel better about themselves?

I think you might have a forest and trees thing going on with respect to human interaction...

I think this lol cat is being manipulative




but....he's so darn suavecito!

it's the code of the jedi to only use the power of suggestion for good.

cats get that...

True.

Reasonable question, and I guess I see that as sort of middle. Honestly, I'm not sure, as it's getting there. I think people going around complimenting, trying to make people happy, have a mode going on that points to their own needs. On the other hand, Chai noticing the woman and commenting, she saw her eyes, was attuned to the woman. It was a function of Chai's noticing.

I think it's more about not stepping back from saying something nice.

I guess it's a variant of OSDavid dropping money off on random people.

I think I agree with you, if I understand you. I'm no saint, we all know that, but I say something nice spontaneously, because it just comes out, because I mean it. I don't do it as a mode to happy up the world, or in OSD's situation, to be beneficent.

Falsity can come into this. Manipulation and falsity, pah.

On the other hand, when I have worked with elderly patients .. I'm trying to remember. Basically I try to engage. I didn't usually start that with how they are looking in bed.

Apropos of nothing, my husband just came in, and was reading behind my shoulder.

He just about bust a gut laughing over my signature line.

Especially if you were a 12 year old boy and this guy was a coach.