I am so afraid!!!

Some guys don't beg, even when they want you back. Either because of ego issues, or they feel it will make them seem desperate and hurt their chances of getting you back, or other reasons. But not all guys will beg.

Update
*sigh* well I did stick it out but I guess I would have saved myself alot of pain if I had ended it then but .... Bottom line is that now its over .. just now ... today and I can't believe how much it hurts .. yes I know I am better off .. that doesn't stop it from hurting. My mother told me she had never loved as much as I love him. I guess it just doesn't matter if the bottom line is that he doesn't love me that much.

He is a bit more honest but no I still don't think he is telling me all of what is going on with "her". What was the final staw was that he told her he loved her, wanted to be with her and practically marry her. He won't acknowledge that to me. It doesn't matter now anyway does it. Anyway I forced the issue by confronting this and now I am here.

I made the decision to stay knowing that this was the most probable outcome so .. I will hurt and cry and maybe someday I will feel better and go on.

"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." - good quote for what I am hoping I will feel eventually. Due to work I will still be with him everyday so I really have to let it go. He is a good caring person and has been nothing but sorry he has hurt me and understanding of my pain and anger.. well NOW he is anyway. We care about each other enough that we are going to try. I can leave whenever I want. It would be hard on the job but he would figure it out. Right now I am going to stay. I can work from home when I need to so that will give me some of the space I need.

I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out in a better way, adamanta.

Re: Update

I'm sorry to belabor this for you, but I think I might have some good advice for you on this topic. Did you stay together in some form, besides the working together, or is it over and you are trying to move on?

I do ramble a bit when upset .. yes we are broken up and our relationship will be friendship with caring so that we can continue to run the business we run. I will be able to leave the job when and if I want to .. or not. Right now I chose to stay as this is my choosen career and really can't face looking for a job .. not this month anyway.

Do you co-own your business? If so, is your name on documation establishing this?
On your emotional side, I need to think a bit...will definately get back to you.

No he is the sole owner. And yes emotionally I know this is NOT good for me however I cannot, will not abandon someone just becaues they can't love me like I want them to. We do care enough for each other to not hurt each other anymore. To be perfectly frank, he is a much better co-worker and boss than boyfriend/fiance. Its just that I love him so much that didn't matter. Anyway I cannot leave without a replacement as my role is too vital and he couldn't do it himself. For now .. I will stay and if its too hard then I shall help him find someone and train them then leave.

My mother and I (who I live with now) have decided to move to another town close by for a fresh start and so I can meet people more like me etc. We will have to wait for a bit to save some money but I think that would be good for me.

I think most of us have experienced the same kind of pain; of having lost somebody we loved. Sometimes it's beyond our control, and there isn't much we can do about it. My girlfriend married somebody when I shipped overseas while I was in the US Air Force. But, you know what? I met somebody that I love today more than any girl I could ever love in this world. She's my wife. c.i.

I can only hope that I shall find the same someday. Glad you did.

I know this is a little off the topic, but I must relate what happened to me when I was stationed in Morocco for one year. I got my dear john letter, and another guy in my squadron got a dear john letter too. We used to go to the beer hall and drink ourself silly, and cry in our beer. Jerry has been one of my longest/oldest friend after we met in Morocco. We have exchanged christmas cards since the late fifties. When I got out of the service, I visited him in Kansas City, KS. When he owned a bar in Omaha, I visited him a couple of times there. He even treated me to a college football game in Lincoln. That must've been over 35 years ago, but I can still remember that experience like it was last year. The local pub was crowded with everybody drinking and enjoying themselves while a marching band walked through the place. When we got into the stadium, tha place was packed with people wearing red. He now lives in Texas not too far from Dallas-Ft Worth. He's been married a little longer than I have, but he has a children, grandchldren, and great-grandchildren. He's been on the wagon for a few years now, but he seems to be enjoying his life to the fullest.

You will. I've PM'd you.

I look forward to getting it jacquie .. thank you so much.

hmm well I think the PM thing doesn't like us jacquie .. anyway feel free to email me at [email protected]

Just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you