14 year boy AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!

That's not cotrolling him, that's making him feel controlled, which will make him more rebellious.

Maybe you're right. What she really needs to do is put him in a straightjacket and one of those hannibal lecter masks.

This 14 year old is not in charge. He is a child and children with their childish behavior must be controlled. His behavior at present is uncontrolled, out of bounds and unacceptable.

Notice that the school is anxious to cooperate?

Thanks for seeing it my way, kicky.

Personally, I wouldn't put up with that crap from my own kid, so I'll be damned if I'd put up with it from someone elses kid. The little brat should be grateful that he has people who were willing to take care of him since his mother obviously doesn't give a rats ass. I would set up a camera or recorder to get proof to show your husband, even though I think he should be taking your word for it. Then I would have a long talk with your husband.
You guys have a 4 year old who is watching everything this little **** is doing and you've already stated that it is having an effect on your child. Obviously, your husband pulls some weight with this kid and it's up to him to tell the kid that he either shapes up or ships out. If your husband continues to ignore what you're telling him and does nothing, then the issue is one that is with your husband. Either way, you need to remember that the main issue is that this kid is having a negative effect on your 4 year old and something needs to be done about that. It really bugs me that your husband doesn't believe you and I would think that he would have gotten a clue after the school meeting. If this kid is tripping teachers and such, then he is heading in a violent direction and you don't want yourself or your 4 year old to become victims. In my opinion, you need to put your foot down with your husband in dealing with this kid. If it was me, I would certainly give my husband an ultimatum in a situation like this. Not only is this kid disrespecting you and having a bad effect on your 4 year old, but your husband is disrespecting you as well by not believing you and ignoring the situation.

Just my 2 cents.

Montana, that was worth way more than 2 cents.

Who cares if the kid doesn't like it! Do you think she likes going to school to hear about all the crap he's doing. My son never pulled that stuff in school and he knew damn well that I wouldn't have hesitated to embarrass him to no end if he did. Don't you think it embarrasses her when she is called into school when this kid is tripping teachers?
Many times parents have to do things they don't like to do, but we do what's best for our kids. Sometimes the lessons are hard, but how else will they learn. Unacceptable behavior needs to be dealt with when it comes to both children and adults as well. I've had to do things that I didn't want to do to teach my son a lesson and in the end, he respects me for it and knows that everything I do is for his own good and is simply because I love him. My son has told me he hated me I can't count the times, but it didn't take long for him to tell me that he didn't mean it and then gives me a hug, a kiss on the cheek saying "I love you mom". That is when we sit down and have a long talk about whatever it is that went down. Things need to be talked about after the fact just so the child understands exactly where you're coming from and why you do what you have to do.
These people opened their hearts and their door to this kid and he should be extremely grateful for that. He's 14 years old and is old enough to know damn well that his actions will have an effect on the people who are responsible for him. This kids needs to be sat down and given some rules and told what will happen if he doesn't follow them. They need to explain their obligations as parents to him and assure him that their own child would get the same exact treatment. It's not easy being a parent, but it's important and our responsabilty to do what we have to do for the childs own good, whether we like it or not.

Get a tape recorder.

Scoates I really think with me going to his school with him will embarrass him more than damage a realationship that we dont have anyway. I want him to apologise to his teacher, he was wrong and if he cant act his age and do that on his own(knowing the concquences) then I will be glad to embarrass the **** out of him. All i can say to him is you did it to yourself. I am the bad guy anyway and at this point he is making my life miserable, I can do the same back if he cant learn to respect his teachers and parents... He can respect his friends????????????????? He can do the same to adults..... This is my house and my rules.... Do you have children?

Just one newborn. I'm not basing my opinion on experience with kids, I'm basing it on experience being a kid. If someone had done that to me when I was his age it would have made me madder, and more difficult.

SCoates
So, did you ever trip a teacher?

I offered a point of view. If no one agrees with it fine, but you're all blowing this out of proportion. I'm not opposed to taking action. Remember, my first suggestion involved lasers.

As I remember the problem, euchrelover is saddled with this kid because his crack-addicted mother neglects him and his father is just out of jail and trying to find his feet.

Probably one reason this 14-year-old house guess is indulging in antisocial behavior is he feels that nobody cares.

By enforcing house rules, euchrelover is proving that she cares enough to take the time and energy to set him straight.

Letting a kid run wild is not good for the kid--or for the wilderness.

Euchrelover--

Hold your dominion.

Sorry about that. I honestly didn't mean to offend you and if I did I appologize.

Noddy
I couldn't agree more.

"A child needs love the most when they deserve it the least"

A simplistic statement bu there's a bit of truth there.

Not an easy situation euchre and I wish you well and a load of patience. If you can achieve something with this boy you will have done something wonderful but don't let him bring you down. If you don't achieve anything at least you have made a better effort than anyone else to date.

I know your right about him getting more anger, but when my parents even threatened that to me at his age i straighten right up, I know what would happen in school the day after one of them showed up and i avoided that all by just doing what they asked it's not like they were telling me to jump off a bridge

So I guess the real answer is to find out what works. If the kid doesn't respond to loving caring nudges in the right direction, you have to try the badass approach. And if that doesn't work, don't rule out that punch in the nose thing I mentioned at the beginning of this thread.

Different kids respond to different things.

Thank you all again, for your support..

Another problem or not ?

Yesterday he got out of westleing practice and went up to his aunt placed his hand in his arm pit and wiped his hand on her face....... i was apaulled.
how do i deal with that one ?
any sugestions???????

One good solid surprise punch in the face when nobody's looking . . . I promise I won't tell anybody . . .

What did his aunt do? Right now I'd say, her face, her problem.

You will be busy dealing with his offenses against you, your child and your once-happy home.

What does your husband suggest?