Having affairs- What's wrong with me??!!

Have I stumbled into a pro-Christianity thread?

I better stumble off out quick.

No, you are so far from the truth that this is a "thrill ride" for me, or "speed affairs" as you put it. You have made your assumption about me already, so obviously nothing I can do can make you understand.

I never said any of this was right, quite the contrary...I know how dead wrong it is. You've made your point about me time and time again....I get it. Lay off.

Yes, you are right...it is SICK! He had the affair with her when I was 17, we had just had our oldest daughter. He went back to it about 12 years later. That's when our "relationship" came to a halt, and I could never get it back. Shortly after that was my first affair.

What am I still doing there? I don't know. Again, my only answer is my family. People really do think we are a great family, we have lots of friends we travel with, him and I go hiking in New England every 6 months, just us two. We go to Disney world as a family every 6 months...bbq's at the house every weekend. We all laugh, cut up...our house really is a happy home. I really am able to keep this private life of mine private. No it's not "real", I understand that.

He went outside the marriage before we were even in the marriage. Why he went back to her, I don't know.

I need to move on, I know. I need to make that step. I know this isn't fair to him. Thank you for thinking I'm not a slut..lol. Although I know I have deep, serious issues.

Sorry but you must be getting something out of having one affair after another and the only thing that such affairs can offer a person is the thrill of having 'secret' affairs.

You are no victim and seems to be in a relationship that meet your needs IE a home and finance security and a husband who actions you can tell yourself explained and justify your affairs.

Internet abbreviation Not Safe For Work.

Thank you! I would never have guessed.

I think you are afraid of standing alone. After all, you were just a kid when you got married, probably your husband was too, and you both had no chance of really making it. He let you down, and you were just a kid. Any woman would have left him then and there.

Now you are a woman. You keep waiting for the knight in shining armor to rescue you and when they don't (and they never do) you just stay in that miserable marriage, since it's better than being alone.

always here for ya

I feel for you. You are a full on affair addict getting high off all those endorphins and dopamine that you get at the beginning of relationships. They are there to make you bond, feel safe, fall in love. The problem is your relationships have no hope of moving to the next stage.

You have a very unhappy marriage by all accounts and affairs seem to be your coping mechanism, just like alcohol or other drugs can be for others. I really do think in this case there isn't much to salvage and you need to stop investing your time and energy in unhealthy relationships.

As for the kids; imagine what you could do with them if you weren't investing so much of yourself in a lost marriage and a bunch of affairs. They must know you're unhappy, they might even know you're cheating. That can't be could.

You need professional help. You are an addict and you are not thinking rationally. Good luck

Not certain about a divorce? Get yourself an attorney. He'll have you divorced in no time. Just mentioned that in passing because so many women need encouragement to make the divorce decision. No doubt in my mind, you need a divorce. The youngest child will do much better living with a happy Mom versus both miserable parents. Of course you looked outside your marriage for fulfillment. Keep looking for Mr Right and do file for divorce. You won't regret it.