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I don't know how she sees me

 
 
Idklol
 
Reply Fri 5 Oct, 2012 12:32 pm
Hi
I'm 16 and I'm talking and texting with a girl in the same age which I really like for about 3 weeks. I also asked her if she would be my date for winterformal and she said yes. The problem is that we have never done something together but we'll do something if we find a day.
I have no idea how she sees me, just as a good friend or as a potential boyfriend. It almost kills me not to know that, because i definitely don't wanna be just a good friend.
Now my question: Shall I just ask her how she sees me or that I more than just like her or shall I wait until we have done something together?
Thanks for help
And yeah, she looks good and I know that I'm not the only one who thinks that.
PS. I ******* hate it to have to ask this question here but I hope it helps something.
 
sozobe
 
  3  
Reply Fri 5 Oct, 2012 12:39 pm
@Idklol,
Wait!

You've gotten a really important first step out of the way. You like her, you asked her to a dance, she said yes. That's great progress.

Spend some time with her before you go any further. Don't be too needy or pressure-y, just hang out, see where things go.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Oct, 2012 02:44 am
@Idklol,
Err...how can she see you as a good friend if you have never done anything together?

She obviously likes you - otherwise she wouldn't say yes.

Accepting date doesn't mean she wants you to be her boyfriend...nor does it mean she doesn't. It's simply best to go on the date, show interest (not needy interest), make jokes, compliment her just the once on something that is unusual but likeable about her (or that she's wearing), give her a little bit of space occasionally to let her move towards you (creating a vacuum occasionally - so to speak, for her to fill)....and see what signals she gives off before deciding where things will go from there.

A note on compliments - they should always come across as genuine. Genuine compliments do not need her to become flighty / greatful / starry eyed etc. They just are, and are said because you think so - not because you seek any reward. IF she is insecure (a large percentage of young women are), it's best to make the compliment, followed by you immediately commenting on something unrelated (ie it doesn't give her reason to object to the compliment, which then creates awkwardness)
0 Replies
 
NicolasRoss
 
  0  
Reply Tue 30 Oct, 2012 08:33 pm
@Idklol,
Man, you are right to come here. Getting updates from guys who've been there will help you out.
First thing is: asking yourself how she sees you is a passive process. Girls like "active" guys. You need to be pro-active and step up things. Ask her to do something, spend time with her. If it goes well, escalate things.
Girls will respond to how you behave. I can expand on this but stop being passive and make yourself attractive. This way you are sure she will be keen and will never "friendzone" you.
0 Replies
 
 

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