Need some feedback on my situation

This is an old post, but here goes.

He said:

"I've always seen myself as someone lesser than those around me,"

I think that's his problem. Not that he's a nice guy.

Hi Armstro,

I realise that you don't want to 'be a dick'...and this post will in no way suggest that you should be...I think the problem may be that, because you don't want to 'be a dick', that you completely avoid chasing women overtly...that you avoid showing that you desire women?

I'm guessing this is the case, because it's quite a common reaction in courteous people...in terms of women, they don't want to offend women, and they want to be nice to women.

The thing is - if you are afraid of offending others, how are you ever going to be yourself? How are you ever going to show a woman that you desire her? How is she ever going to know that you find her desirable? Should she for some reason desire you when you don't desire her first?

Other aspects of that question include :
- how genuine are you if you hide your emotions and desires?
- how weak is your character if you can't show desire, and can't go after what you desire
- are you persistent
- do you go after your goal no matter what
- are you easily deterred
- do you know how to be persuasive
- do you know how to make women comfortable

There's plenty of other questions along these lines.

You can do all of this respectfully - you don't have to be an arsehole or bad boy - you just need to stand up for yourself, go after what you want, allow yourself to desire (you are a man / male / human remember, with all the genetics that entails - don't ever be embarassed by that or feel it's wrong, no matter what any woman tells you) etc.

P.S. if your mother was the major influence in your life growing up - you'll find your views, and problems with women are rather common from that group.

It's not about being an asshole - it's about respecting your own manhood (and everything that entails) and showing (respectfully) that you desire women.

...of course, maybe that's not the problem and I'm way off track



Doh...old posts....

Dude I've been in the exact same situation as you.. I was every girl's best friend. They really loved pouring their hearts out to me, as I was such an inoffensive guy. The plus side of this is that I got to know how their minds worked.

Riding a bike and rock climbing are cool traits of yours, so they're a plus.

I don't believe that not drinking is necessarily a bad thing but sometimes hanging out and being the only one drinking water or juice can be kind of lame. I believe you can have a beer no problem.

Anyway, regarding girls, like people have said, you have to be more aggressive. Not being violent, but you end up in a limbo, where you're always available to the girl whenever she wants. And that's not very attractive to them. It's great for the first times when you meet a girl and start to get to know each other, but then you just have to give them some space. Remember, the forbidden fruit is always the most desired one.

So if the girls ask for your company sometimes you have to refuse or at least reschedule because you have some other thing to do... I would use the "Sorry, but I'm going to the mall with [girl name], let's do this another time"

That creates healthy jealousy.

Remember, leave them wanting more. You have time... don't rush things. The girls won't disappear if you can't be with them today... there's always tomorrow.