4
   

a request

 
 
ziawj2
 
Reply Sat 22 Sep, 2012 08:42 pm
I need to write a request based on the following situation:
You have just moved into an apartment and the telephone in the apartment does not work. Write a message to the landlady asking her to have the phone fixed and giving a preference for the time when the phone service person can come and fix it.
Could you help me check the request to make the language style friendly and polite? Thank you.

Sep. 23
Dear Mrs. XXX,
This morning I wanted to give a friend of mine a call, but found my mobile phone did not work. So I turned to the telephone in the Apt. After I dialed, there is no response. The plug is loose and it seems that the phone has been broken for some time. I have got six classes the whole day and have to contact my friend this evening. Could you please have the phone fixed this afternoon? Thank you.
Zia
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 859 • Replies: 13
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Lustig Andrei
 
  2  
Reply Sat 22 Sep, 2012 08:47 pm
@ziawj2,
I don't know where you live, ziawj2, but in the USA, at least, it is not the landlord's or landlady's responsibility to have your land-line telephone connected. You must contact the telephone company yourself to obtain this service.
chai2
 
  2  
Reply Sat 22 Sep, 2012 09:24 pm
@Lustig Andrei,
Also, even if the landlord were responsible, I see no need to talk about what you were doing when you discovered the problem. Also no need to talk about who you need to talk to tonight.

If the landlord were responsible, all he/she needs to know is that it needs to be fixed.
0 Replies
 
ziawj2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Sep, 2012 06:57 am
@Lustig Andrei,
In China, if the funiture or electrical equipment is destroyed before moving into, the tenant will not be responsible for it. And the landlord or landlady will be responsible for repairing and pay it himself or herself.

I revised the request according to your suggestion, could you help me check it in terms of language style and tone? Thank you!

Dear Mrs. XXX,
This morning I wanted to give a friend of mine a call, but found my mobile phone did not work. So I turned to the telephone in the Apt. After I dialed, there is no response. The plug is loose and it seems that the phone has been broken for some time. I have got six classes the whole day and have to contact my friend this evening. Could you please have the phone fixed this afternoon? Thank you.
Han Meimei
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Sep, 2012 07:17 am
@ziawj2,
Your request is too long. It contains much that is not relevant. Requests of this type should be short and to the point. I suspect that may be part of the reason for the exercise. You need to confine yourself to these topics: 1. A short description of the problem (the phone does not work). 2. Briefly, what you want her to do about it (get it fixed). The landlady does not need to know about your friend, your mobile phone, your classes, etc. This is what I would write.

Dear Mrs XXX

The telephone in my apartment does not work. Please arrange to have it repaired as soon as possible.

Regards

Han Meimei

mark noble
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Sep, 2012 07:23 am
In the UK...

Oi landlord person! Fix my phone or prepare to have it surgically removed from your rectum.

Yours sincerely
XXXXX
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Sep, 2012 07:37 am
Feel free to disregard Mark Noble's post.


izzythepush
 
  0  
Reply Sun 23 Sep, 2012 10:27 am
@contrex,
Dear XXX

The old dog's knackered, get it sorted will ya.

Ta.

YS
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Sep, 2012 01:26 pm
@contrex,
Good for you and chai. You both answered the question.
Lustig Andrei
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Sep, 2012 01:38 pm
@roger,
Yup.
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  1  
Reply Sun 23 Sep, 2012 02:21 pm
@ziawj2,
ziawj2 wrote:
language style and tone


I already outlined the style - brief and to the point, but a word about tone might be useful. In a first message, be polite! Use "please" when requesting that something be done. Do not remind the landlady that she has a responsibility to repair the phone; leave this for a later message if the first does not get the desired result.
0 Replies
 
ziawj2
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Sep, 2012 07:48 pm
@contrex,
I need to "give a preference for the time when the phone service person can come and fix it". So could I change it to:

Dear Mrs XXX,

The telephone in my apartment does not work. Please arrange to have it repaired as soon as possible. I am avialable this weekend. Thank you.

Regards

Han Meimei

0 Replies
 
MontereyJack
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Sep, 2012 01:39 am
available
0 Replies
 
MontereyJack
 
  1  
Reply Tue 25 Sep, 2012 01:47 am
If there's some urgency involved, I see nothing wrong in adding something like, "I have an important call to make this evening, so could you please have it repaired this afternoon?" If you live somewhere where there actually exists a possibility of getting a phone fixed by the afternoon of the day you make the request, I'm amazed. My landline recently died, and it took two repair calls, which each had to be booked three or four days in advance, and required me to be there for a four-hour time block for each, in order to get it up and running. Or is this just an exercise in use of the language?
0 Replies
 
 

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