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Daily Reflections



by A.A. Members for A.A. Members



LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us. . . . We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others. . . . We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 252




When I did my personal inventory I found that I had unhealthy relationships with most people in my life---my friends and family, for example. I always felt isolated and lonely. I drank to dull emotional pain.

It was through staying sober, having a good sponsor and working the Twelve Steps that I was able to build up my low self-esteem. First the Twelve steps taught me to become my own best friend, and then, when I was able to love myself, I could reach out and love others.

~ Reprinted from Daily Reflections, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.



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Twenty-Four Hours A Day



by Hazelden



A.A. Thought for the Day

It's been proved that we alcoholics can't get sober by our willpower. We've failed again and again. Therefore I believe there must be a Higher Power which helps me. I think of that power as the grace of God. And I pray to God every morning for the strength to stay sober today. I know that power is there because it never fails to help me. Do I believe that AA. works through the grace of God?

Meditation for the Day

Once I am "born of the spirit," that is my life's breath. Within me is the life of life, so that I can never perish. The life that down the ages has kept God's children through peril, adversity, and sorrow. I must try never to doubt or worry, but follow where the life of the spirit leads. How often, when little I know it, God goes before me to prepare the way, to soften a heart, or to overrule a resentment. As the life of the spirit grows, natural wants become less important.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that my life may become centered in God more than in self. I pray that my will may be directed toward doing His will.

Thank you for an excellent post, BillW.

Once we get ourselves out of the way, God's will for us always materializes. AA teaches us that -- whatever God's will is for us -- we must find the power to carry it out. This "power" is derived through prayer and meditation.


A Question

Have you read the newest edition of Alcholics Anonymous?

If so, please share your thoughts about it, especially the new stories that it includes.

I have not read the new stories! From what I understand, the body of the book is the same -

You have made the BEST of points Williamhenry. To get
OUT of self, is (for me) the greatest gift recovery has to
offer to ME. When I am totally involved in whatever I am
doing at the moment, or talking with another AA member,
like I had to call my vet this morning, who is also a member
of my home group - it is just SO nice to hear these voices.
My AA members are my family - and when I am in those
rooms with them, I feel a sense of peace & comfort fill me
up & all my wordly cares and woes disappear into some
nameless void - and I truly don't care where they go - the
important truth and fact for me is: THEY DISAPPEAR!!
And I am restored to the sanity of an individual who is far
more interested in the lives of others & in being of use to
others, so that MY history, the worst throes of my disease;
can and will be of use to another member in AA. I believe
that this is the great gift of why we do not ever regret the
past nor wish to shut the door upon it. "IT" is all that I
really do have to offer another alcoholic. No matter how
FAR down the scale I have gone, I have seen my experiences
be helpful to another person in recovery. Even though when
it is those whom we love the very most in all the world - my
daughters, my grandchildren.... we are often totally useless
and unable to help them. Either we don't have whatever is
needed ... or what we do have is simply not wanted. So...
there being absolutely nothing that I can do about my middle
daughter, Gwyn and her cocaine problem, I can help
SOMEONE ELSE!!! And I can send my wishes and prayers out
into the universe that whoever she CAN accept help from -
might just come strolling along in her life at just the right
moment when she CAN hear the message. It could happen
at any moment, like lightening. She called me this morning
to tell me that she wants to check in to a mental hospital -
and, I asked her, to please call me back when you get there.
It has been hours. I could be frantic, but I CAN be HERE. I
CAN share my own experiences... I have been down that
dark and ugly road and come back, and if I could do it - even
with all of my emotional and mental problems - then surely
anyone can do it. This program works for those who want
it - though sadly not for many of those who seem to "need it".
As for the NEW & IMPROVED edition of Alcoholic Anonymous
textbook - yes the first 165 pages, (or whatever) will no doubt
forever remain the same... even though at some newcomer
meetings I've chaired - we actually have had to go over How
It Works, because of the fact that many people today have no
idea what the word "BALK" means - for example. And there
are other parts of this reading that are mysterious to the new.
I need to get myself a copy of the latest edition -WILLIAMHENRY,
and read the new stories. Has anyone read much of it yet?
I intend to get a copy of the new textbook this week - my
health has FINALLY improved to the point that I can do more
than lie about in bed. I can't wait to see the new stories... I
am certain that there will be many more women's stories in
this newest edition. It is SO exciting! I was corresponding
with AA Central in NYC regarding some of the language of
those first pages, merely to inquire - would
it be possible to exchange "we's" , for any of the
"he's" in this part of the book but was soundly trounced
and pointed in the direction of the previous committee
meetings regarding any change of the language of the
first, vital pages of our textbook. Words like John
Barleycorn really do require some explanation, it
isn't a term used anymore, and often newcomers are not
known for asking questions freely about things they don't
understand. They generally seem to feel bad enough
about themselves & surely would not want to look stupid
on top of it all. But I AM grateful for the times when the
meetings we have; we spend the entire meeting poring
over nothing but "How It Works" and nothing else, just
this passage. Examining every little nook and cranny of
the body of language that we read prior to every meeting.
It's a great experience for me, to see a new kind of interest
sparkle in their eyes & to hear those tentative questions
(since we are on the subject anyway) that I know they
would love to ask, but don't want to look stupid. I have
missed my meetings and am so looking forward to getting
back in the swing. (it's been about a month) It's good to
know you wonderful people are here. Nothing makes me
happier than to come to these pages on A2K. You are
ALL a wonderful, exceptional group of people. Or, as
Buddha would say - "To travel with the unawakened makes
the journey long and hard and is as painful as traveling with
an enemy. But the company of the wise is as pleasant as
meeting with friends. Follow the wise, the intelligent, and
the awakened. Follow them as the moon follows the path of
the stars." So I WILL keep on following the path. Or, as
they often say "stick with the winners"
Love to you all, Babs

babs<

Remember, no matter how much it might hurt, that Gwyn is responsible for her own actions. You are not.
Neither are you responsible for her addiction.

The only thing you can really do for her is to be a positive example by carrying AA's message of hope.

You cannot force her recovery as she couldn't yours. Getting into her "stuff" might cause you to relapse, so be careful.

I'm sending a prayer along the journey for the right outcome for you and for her.

So true WH, so very true. This is the sad fact - in the
lives of those we love the most - we are totally useless
in offering any assistance or advice. And even if I did
offer help - she would only take advantage of it and
manipulate me. I've learned the hard way like most
alcoholics, I have been stupid & stubborn. BUT I am
still here. I am still calm & serene in spite of what goes
on all around me. This is one of the many GIFTS that
my sobriety gives me. Having fought so long & hard
to get it - my sobriety is SO precious to me. I don't
believe people relapse over the BIG things in life. My
daughter's addiction, or the fact that I may have colon
cancer (I will wait till next week for the news, I've no
other choice) A death in the family, or some other huge
loss - I adamantly believe that MOST RELAPSES occur
over everyday, stupid little irritating things. Things that
an alcoholic is just lazy or unwilling to deal with in their
4th steps. I believe chronic relapsing behavior comes
from the same old character defects that landed us in
AA from the very beginning. And these are ALWAYS
fear-driven. Always, no exception! I've watched people
in the very act of relapsing and am powerless, utterly
completely powerless. They can't hear me - by the time
I can see it coming, it is already too late. Say an average
alcoholic gets close to 1 year of sobriety, but puts off that
VITAL 4th step as though it were the plague. It's all fear,
nothing but fear. It's such a shame to watch people die
rather than deal with the simplest of all human emotions.
THANKS for your prayers, your support, your just
listening WH. Thanks much. Babs

babs<

Calling yourself "stupid and stubborn" is living in the past. Stop beating yourself up, please! You are a perfect child of God, created in His/Her image and likeness. Thus, self criticism can be said to be part of critisising God's handiwork.

You must learn to love every part of yourself -- including colon cancer -- because God made you as one-of-a-kind. No one else but you has the unique qualities that you possess.

On a personal note, I pray you are cancer-free. But if you're not, remember, "this, too, shall pass."

Yes, WilliamHenry - I hear you. I SAID that I "HAVE BEEN"
stupid and stubborn, and that WAS the truth about me,
myself and I - but that isn't true today...well, at least not
most of the time. I don't beat up on myself WH, because
I don't deserve it. I've had a long and interesting relationship
with guilt in my life - but I've learned that there may be
occassions when I FEEL guilty (this is just a conditioned
response in many,many ways) for not doing what someone
else wants me to do, or not being what someone else wants
me to be - all just a throwback of the days with parents -
where the "guilt trip" was the commonly used manipulating
device. AT LAST, it doesn't work on my anymore. Not only
with relatives but also with anyone else trying to use or
take advantage of me. I can clearly look at any given situation
& say - you know, Babs you may FEEL guilty, because that's
an old idea, an old habit; but that does NOT mean that you are
guilty. Not ever. I tell myself this ALWAYS. It's the guilt antidote
& has gotten me through myriad issues with parents & children
etc. I am a very lucky woman to have found these gifts in AA.
Just to think of who I was when I picked up my white chip,
gives me the willies. When I see a newcomer who reminds
me of me - I ALWAYS make a point of introducing myself to
them and offering my phone number just on the off chance that
at some point in time and who knows where, it may be that
I could be "of use" to another sick, suffering human being.

babs<

Congratulations! I am glad you have some freedom from that old demon "guilt trip." Feels great, doesn't it?

Yes, it SURE does WH! Not only that, but when I tell people
who have 5 or 10 years of sobriety that there WILL come a
day that the "committee meetings in the head" will stop;
they look at me like I am nuts - but, as I'm sure you are
also aware - this miracle really does happen. I waited &
waited and hoped, and one day I realized there was just
absolutely NOTHING going on upstairs in that overactive
brain of mine. No internal controversy at all. Things are so
quiet now. And I LOVE it, for me it is one of the greatest
gifts in the universe. I know we have our "promises", but
I guess I never really understood HOW good my life would
become - as long as I just hung in there, and waited for
MY miracle to happen. It is so sad how many people come
and pick up a white chip ( that is our beginner chip here
in SE Florida) go to meetings for a few months and then
they just disappear and I think... if they only knew what
they were throwing away, by leaving - they wouldn't
go. It's like, if you walked into a cancer ward in any
hospital and you told those people that all you need to
do to save your life is to follow these 12 simple steps;
they would be jumping in line for the chance to do it.
I guess denial is our worst enemy. If alcoholics really
did believe they were as sick as they really are, maybe
AA would be taken more seriously. It's a shame.
Babs

Virtues

We of AA are apt sometimes to brag about the virtues of our fellowship.
Let us remember that none of these are earned virtues. We have been forced into them, to begin with, by the cruel lash of John Barleycorn.

We have adopted these attitudes, these practices, this structure, not at first because we wished to but because we had to.

But today I think we stand willing to conform permanently and gladly to the principles which experience, under the grace of God, has taught us."


from Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, by Bill W., pg. 224

I know that I CERTAINLY didn't waltz into AA with a big
smile all over my face, experiencing the greatest of pleasure
at finding my new status in life. It was more like the humiliating
case of the pot calling the kettle black - and it stung, as well it
should. I'd been arrogant & well loved to point out OTHERS
failings particularly when it came to drinking to excess. To
come and pick up a white chip MYSELF?????????Oh, this was
the horror of all horrors. ME, I couldn't really be one of "them"
could I?? These are the kind of questions that could well have
led me right back out the door... but I heard people telling
MY story so I was so fascinated by their sheer ease at talking
it all over - that I was truly captivated. I had to come back
for more. None of us comes willingly, but all of us who are so
fortunate enough to remain for whatever time we earned.....in
the working of the steps, and by the grace of our Higher Power,
experience this sense of wonder as years fly by. When
newcomers begin to think that "I" know something??? How
scary! I think that what really saved me those first
years were all the retreats and conventions I attended. If there
was one to be had, and I was off for the weekend, I just
told my junior and senior high school girls to PLEASE behave
yourselves, and off I went for a weekend full of AA. I couldn't
get enough. I wanted to feel good NOW dammit, now! But,
all good things come in time, don't they? They take alot of
time. I am not boasting or resting on my laurels WH3, I'm
just SUCH A FORTUNATE PERSON TODAY! And I hope your
day is every bit as good as it can get, today and tomorrow
and all your days in the contenment of your sobriety.

my friends and i talked one of our friends into entering a.a. i went with my friend to his first two meetings and was duly impressed.

Hi, guys. I haven't been here for a while because, after the most recent A2K outage, I stopped receiving e-mailed update notifications. Good to be back in touch with y'all.

"There are no dues or fees for AA membership."
The AA Preamble

Lemme tell ya, if there were dues or fees, I'd gladly pay 'em.

One rule, just a desire to stop drinking - keep coming and it can become permanent!

Hope you friend atteneded more than 2 meetings pueo, if he needed them of course!

Yeah, he mighta' got one of those quick "cures" huh?

Seen them come in before, they'll be back (I hope)

my friend just started attending on tuesday the 27th, it's the 30th on guam right now, and yes he attended last night.

pueo, tell your friend for me "Good luck and keep coming back, it works if you work it!" Thanks!