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Tell me if this is in line with what you mean, Seaglass,
...I was in my sixth rehab, in five years. I had been hearing for the longest about "One day at a time", "You're always in danger of relapse, etc.,. I would always come out of rehab with good intentions, then Quickly use those excuses, to pick-up. Then this one counselor said something, I had never heard before; She had had relapse problems simular to mine, and it came to a point when she decided, forget all the usual BS, "I can never come back to this point again, I'll die, if I do." Before I was out of that rehab, I had came to the same decision. That was 12 years ago, in that time I made a handful of one day slips, but my mind, heart and soul was made-up. I couldn't go back there.

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seaglass asks:

Quote:

how was the seed of sobriety planted in your recovery experience?

Treatment Center, I went to learn how to be a "normal drinker" and stayed for the long haul. Only thing I can say is that any day in here has been better than every day out there! bw

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The "one day at a time" message worked for me beautifully. I know a lot of newcomers to AA have a problem with it. They think they have to make some sort of commitment never to drink again, and that's scary to a person who's still got the shakes, figuratively speaking. It occurred to me early on in sobroiety that I had been getting drunk one day at a time. My drunks were never planned in advance. I just picked up a drink with all kinds of innocent intentions and then was off and running. One day at a time. And I could certainly make an effort to stay sober for just this one day.

To this day, I have never promised anybody that I will never take another drink of alcohol. I don't like to make promises which I don't know whether I can keep. But I did promise myself and my Higher Power this morning that for this Sunday I would go to any lengths not to pick up anything alcoholic. It's early yet, but so far I've had no difficulty keeping that promise.

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Andrew,
...I didn't mean to deride "One day at a time". It's still one of my tools. I'm just a one in a million hardhead, I needed more.

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Well, I went to therapy, because I didn't want to hear anymore "Don't drink so much".
I neither did want to stop drinking nor to change the quantity of it. Just didn't want to hear the awful comments.

There, I got a kind of "petit mal", noticed -after they gave me some reading- that there must have been already more than half a dozen more, realized, how happy I could be, staying still alive - and didn't want to drink any drop from that time.

I didn't really learn more there [that's why they at first thought, this therapy was in vain], did that later.
But stayed sober since that very day, now more than 20 years ago.

I don't promise this to anybody.
I try to live so.

And it works. Without any problems until now.
But with a much better life than before.

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I can relate to that, Walter. The most amazing thing that I noticed after just a couple of weeks of not touching a drop was that I actually enjoyed being sober. That came as a shock. I didn't think it was possible. My whole idea of how to have fun and a good time had been based on drinking. I didn't even know one could be happy while sober. It was an eye-opener, so to speak.

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I likened being sober to a brand new high, only cheaper, with no hangover.
And you know, whenever my mind drifts to just how wonderful some of my highs were, I always follow through on the reminiscing. I keep asking myself, "And then what happened?' Eventually, I come to "Oh yeah, that did happen afterwards, O.K., maybe not today."

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Well, the most 'funniest' thing, which happened to me after my therapy, was that I went to the leading psychiatrist of that institute (two hours on train away), just to ask him, if I was serious ill.
Since I didn't miss alcohol at all and was feeling really good without it.

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Everybody should be that ill, Walter!

Laughing

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I'll drink to that!.....(sparkling cider, of course :wink: )

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Glad, I know the difference between the meaning of "cider" in the USA and Europe, Booman! (Had one of my worst hangovers after a night in England, drinking 'rough cider'!) :wink:

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Our silence can keep us isolated

"Still waters run deep" may be true for lakes and rivers, but in intimate relationships it is not necessarily true. Our silence can keep us isolated from ourselves and from those we love. In order to grow together, we must let each other know how we think and feel. Sometimes just saying a thought or feeling helps us see beyond it.

If we keep our thoughts to ourselves, we may get so immersed in those still waters that we nearly drown in them. A problem kept to ourselves usually grows bigger and more consuming. When we talk aboutit we can work through it and move on to something else.

Choose one concern, small or large, and express it to your partner.

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I have been running into the promises everywhere the last two weeks, and it has been an important part of my program for the last two years or so. Thought I might include them in full, right here:

Quote:

"The AA Promises

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

Self-seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not.

They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

They will always materialize if we work for them.

Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84"

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Walter, we call that "hard cider" over here!

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BillW, the thing to remember about the promises is that they come in the middle of the Ninth Step. We have to work the steps and be patient in order for the promises to be fulfilled.

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That's exactly what we were discussing last night. One person said they wanted to pick a promise and work on it, another wanted to prioritize them - all found this impossible but agreed that after many years in AA (we have have double digit years of sobriety) a review of the promises showed that they had all become reality.

I believe it is important to show new comers the promises and point out they do come true if you turn it over to a Higher Power, get a sponser, work a good program, attend meetings, get a fellowship going, do service work, get time and put a plug in the jug.

I have never known any instance where this wasn't true and have found no one who has known someone for whom the promises didn't occur!

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BillW<

Thanks for posting The Promises.

"They will always materialize if we work for them."

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I see no one has been in for awhile. Sorry to say that I have
not been feeling too well. I had to have a tooth pulled, and
that would ordinarily be no big deal, but it made my RA flare
up again and the past 3 weeks to a month have been just
gone.... don't know where they went. I've been too sick to
even go online much. Would be nice if we could get a chat
going on in some kind of regular fashion, don't you think?
I have actually made it to 3 meetings this week, so I am
feeling much better physically AND emotionally, but
I miss you all.

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I didn't make a meeting tonight that has been a regular stop for months. Sometimes I get depressed, and don't want to move.
I've been doing 4-5 a week, since I moved to Texas, 3 months ago. After my marriage's collapse, it has been a necessity to keep those lines open, and try to help someone else. My AA b-day is 15 September. 11 years and trying not to count.

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Snood, good to see you here. Sorry you missed your meeting, but we have a pretty good virtual discussion meeting going right here. And, don't forget, if you ever need support, you can PM any one of us. That's what we're all here for -- to prop each other up.

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