Serious stuff: someone hell bent on hurting me.

Forums: Mental Health, Friendship, Relationship, Victim Sensibility
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Three years ago, I worked with this girl at a fast food joint. I was 20 and she was 24. Right from the start, she never liked me and idk y. She talked to everyone else and even though everyone else got along with me, I still felt alone. It affected my conduct and I would get really short with people. Management was more willing to reprimend me for getting short with people then they were to stop her from hurting me. I tried to stop her myself either by joining in her conversations or talking directly to her. I even tried bribing, to no avail. Every single time, she snubbed me. I ended up quitting.

Beginning of this year, I got a job doing product demonstration through sample distribution. Basically a sales job. I been kicking a$$ at it for the most part. A couple months ago, the girl from the fast food joint resurfaced with her friend at the mall. I purposely lined up behind her at the register hoping she'd at least say hi. She completely ignored me and went on her way. Now every month on the 15th, I get bitchy with everyone outside of work. At work, I just get down and moody and generally be unable to perform adequately.

But nobody ever cared she hurt me. Nobody could relate. All that happened yesterday at work was me getting wrote up for not keeping my cart adequately cleaned and getting chewed out for not smiling. I'm just glad I didn't cry. Anyone would have if that girl hurt u like this. When I was at the fast food joint, I cut myself over lack of her friendship. So plz don't accuse me of playing victim when I really am a victim.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 10 • Views: 2,632 • Replies: 23

@Angel23,

Angel, have you considered seeing a therapist? It sounds like you could benefit by exploring these things with a professional.

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@Angel23,

Stop the drama! She's not 'hell bent' on hurting you - she probably doesn't even care that you exist. Stop focussing on what she's up to and do your job and find something good in your life.

Here's one:

You're not in Biafra being swarmed by flies and drinking powdered milk!

You're not in Cuba making $20 bucks a month!

You haven't been molested or raped!

You haven't been abducted and held in a cellar for 12 years!

You have both your legs and both your arms, can see, hear, and talk!

Why not try to be grateful for the good things in your life - after all, you're alive and you have a job, even if you're not good at it.

1 Reply

@Mame,

How am I not good at my job? Whenever they need ppl, I was usually the first one they call in. It's only since she resurfaced that I couldn't focus.

1 Reply

@Angel23,

mame didn't say you weren't good at your job, not once

as for her other advice, i agree, who gives a **** about this other person, she either does or does not know you exist, but for you to make your existence to her a priority in your life is ridiculous, move on, lots more folks to be friends with in this world

as for the person hell bent on hurting you, it's you

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I'ma continue to try my best and kick ass again, but if I happen to slip again, just wondering if I should explain about that girl (briefly.) Not much, but just enough that they'll understand.

2 Replies

@Angel23,

They don't care.

You are unskilled workers, and it is a lousy economy. If you do not get along, and your performance slips enough, management will find other people to work there. They do not owe you a job. They do not owe you a living. And there are probably thousands of people in your area who would line up for your job and would not be drama queens about it.

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@Angel23,

I don't get the connection between this girl hurting you three years ago and you not doing your job properly now....I doubt your boss would either. Forget about this girl and be your own person - one who takes responsibility for her own mistakes.

3 Replies

@Pearlylustre,

The connection is that Angel takes slights or perceived slights to heart and goes over and over and over them. This is not good mental health, and she seems not to get the need to control this, which is messing with her daily life. If it wasn't this slight, it would be another one.

Whether or not you keep this job, Angel, I hope you talk with a mental health advisor about all this. They can help you.

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@Pearlylustre,

If you give that explaination they will fire you because you appear unstable - they don't want a fruitcake working for them.

What the management will think - If something that occured 3 years ago causes such a reaction, then what will happen if she has a disgreement today? And seeing like what is said above - you are unskilled labor and easily replaced - don't give them a reason.

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I don't know why everyone here is trying to cover up to this other girl.

This other girl obviously get's up every morning and thinks "If I see that girl I worked with 3 years ago at that fast food restaurant, I'm going to totally hurt her again by ignoring her."

I wouldn't put it past this other girl that she's actually driving around town, stopping at all the malls and stores where samples are being given out, just to look for angel. I just know that whenever she spots angel, she puts it on her calendar to show up around the 15th of the month, to walk by and pretend she doesn't see her. Who does this tramp think she's fooling, pretending to innocently get in a line, knowing angel will obviously have to get behind her and try to get her to not ignore her.

I bet this other girl has even told her other mean friends to text her whenever they see angel, so she can rush other, to ignore her to her face.

angel, I'm so sorry she's doing this to you. It wounds me too.

1 Reply

The subtlety may be missed here, Ghai . . . you bitch.

1 Reply

@chai2,

This has happened to me too.

There's this woman, who live's down the street from me? Every blessed morning, she walks by my house with her kid, on the pretext she's "walking her 7 year old to school"

I mean, come on, she lives on the same street as me, and the school is on the same street. That doesn't mean she has to actually walk by me every day, even though my house is between her's and the school.

THEN, on top of everything else, after she walks by my house with her kid, she ON PURPOSE walks by my house AGAIN, this time WITHOUT the kid.
What further proof do I need she's trying to make me crazy?

I'm sorry, I can't concentrate right now.

1 Reply

@Setanta,

Setanta wrote:

The subtlety may be missed here, Ghai . . . you bitch.

How did you know to call me a bitch?

TELL ME, HOW DID YOU KNOW???!!!

I thought I found all the listening devices in my house.

The woman probably put another one in here last night, and now you're listening.

WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO THIS WOMAN? TELL ME!!!!

WHAT IS SHE PAYING YOU? I'LL DOUBLE IT.!

1 Reply

@chai2,

sorry you are going through this - sounds like some "serious stuff..."

0 Replies

@Pearlylustre,

The connection is that she resurfaced 2 months ago. Honestly, before that, I had just gotten over her beginning of this year.

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@chai2,

She screws me every day, standing up, aginast the washer while it's on the spin cycle . . .

1 Reply

@Setanta,

Setanta wrote:

She screws me every day, standing up, aginast the washer while it's on the spin cycle . . .

You drive a hard bargain sir.

I'll have to think about it.

Would you consider accepting a shoe box full of S&H Green Stamps, and a pint of chutney instead?

Serious stuff: someone hell bent on hurting me.

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