Why do socks disappear?

When I was living in the doorms I'd pick up random other people's underwear with my laundry. I think the socks were jealous of the underwear and morphed during the rinse cycle.

Well wouldn't you make your escape whenever you could if you were trodden underfoot every day.

I do believe that the manufacturers embed something in the sock's fibers that cause them to attempt to get away from one another. It is like when you turn a magnet around, and it repels, rather than attracts.

The purpose of this manufacturing technique is to enable the makers of the socks to create an open ended market for their products, obliging people to purshase more and more socks.

If one is REALLY clever, you can avoid this shameless ploy of excessive consumerism. BUY ALL THE SAME SOCKS. There are certain downsides to this strategy, like having your white cotton athletic socks seen under the hem of your tuxedo trousers, but that is a small price to pay for intelligent frugality!

The real solution here is to have your feet tattooed the right color. Mine are black with those longitudinals spaced out evenly around my calf.


And socks disappear due to the very well known fact that the spinning of the washing machine opens a wormhole in the universe through which they flow. There are millions of socks on a planet in some distant star system where they kept all their socks because they tattoo their feet the right color.

Glad to help.

Joe

I have had similar experiences to portal's except that my socks just change into other people's socks. Or sometimes they change into one of my socks, but a different one, so that I don't have any pairs left.

Then, there is the corollary problem, which apparently has taken hold of my life. I have a lot of sport socks, that look basically similar. There ARE differences though, like length and weight of sock, and various and sundry logos printed on said socks.

It is beyond my understanding. I will put the correct pairs together. When I go to wear them, the two socks that I have put together, are obviously different.

I wonder what causes this? Do the socks repartner while they are in the sock drawer, just to torment me? An inquiring mind needs to know!

righteous socks are called up in the rapture.

Laundromat trick. If you lose a sock, simply cannot find its mate... throw the survivor sock into someone else's dryer.

I'd still like to get a peek a that machine which some commercial laundries use. You know, the one that tears random buttons off my shirts and sends them flying at high velocity through my socks and jockey shorts.

I think littlek's left underwire travels through the universe, settling down briefly in random washing machines, hooking up with socks for short interludes, then dropping them at the next stop.

I believe I have a right underwire on a similar voyage of sexual exploration.

I have heard that socks are just pupae. When they mature they transform into hangers.

That explains it!

Thanks, ebp.

Joes explanation of a wormhole is wrong. There is solid theoretical evidence (which I have unfortunately misplaced) that proves that the explanation can be found in string theory. The rotation of the dryer causes one of those extra dimensions to temporarily unravel and socks are of the correct physical size to slip through the boundary. Their position is unstable however which is why they ultimately appear at inconvenient moments, poking out from under the living room sofa.

Re: Why do socks disappear?


come on make up your mind; are we talking 'one' sock of "two"!

I have a number of serious solutions to this - 'problem? - .

First don't ever wash your socks - problem solved (caution there could arise a seperate, but even more 'astringent' problem).

Next tie a string to each pair of socks, and check it frequently to insure it doesn't come loose. (don't plan on 'running' a lot!)

If these don't work get your socks custom manufactured out of cultured human skin, and apply them with crazy glue (bonds skin instantly, according to the warnings).

And lastly DO NOT do what i do!

[when i say foolish things, people tell me to "put a sock in it"; i seem to go through an awful lot of socks (and the problem is further agravated by my first suggestion)]

Thank you all for your views on this most serious matter.

According to Prigogines theory of dissipative structures a system (in this case a sock) can under go spontaneous structural shifts according to the "history of shifting" of the system. And allowing for Sheldrakes theory of morphic resonance it takes only one sock in the universe to shift to an unrecognizable state (relative to its mate) for all socks to learn of this option. Socks can of course (like electrons) revert back to former states but by this time it can be too late because the partner may have metamorphosed !

The answer is of course for manufacturers to sell socks in three's so that there is a much greater probability of securing a pair !

Anytime I look under my bed I see tons of socks.

I have another theory.

There is a gnome that follows me around. He always puts the toilet seat up (after I have certainly left it down). He squeezes the toothpaste from the middle of the tube and he is always moving my keys around.

My wife, for some strange reason, doesn't think he exists. But I know he is there. I mean, how else could you explain all of these things?

Maybe he eats socks. (This of course doesn't explain how they wind up under Child's bed.)

Simply clothespin your socks together before placing in washing machine. You will be rewarded with a unique clumping drum roll, especially after you transfer the load to the dryer, and possibly some mechanical diffficulty to keep your mind off the nature of socks themselves.

Ummm... do I have to spell it out for you?