Offense -Whose Is It?

I disagree.

My take on your opinion is that if someone says offensive things about any person/group, I should ignore it because they're not there to hear it.

That simply isn't going to happen. I am not going to ignore an offensive act or comment because the potentially offended aren't there in person to be offended.

<shrug>

I'm not going to change your perspective on this, and you're not going to change mine.

I'm not telling anyone they should be offended about anything, but I'm certainly going to continue to speak up about offenses against others.





If an offensive tree falls in the forest, I'm going to say something about it, whether or not it lands on someone. (now that's a marvellously garbled metaphor, but I kind of like it)

Understood. What about people who tell offended people that they should just get thicker skin instead of being offended?

give them a rash...?

hanh?

Some things are obviously offensive.

Some things are questionable. When people claimed those of the Jewish faith should be offended by Romney because he went to the wailing wall and held a photo op on a Jewish holiday, why should we project what they should feel? Shouldn't it be up to those of that faith to decide if they are offended?

Yep - I agree with you there.

I'm not interested in telling anyone else what to be offended about.

In the exact same way, I'm not interested in anyone else telling me what I should or should not have an opinion about.

Maybe they're right, though it's not a way I'd approach it.

If someone was constantly offended, I'd definitely be curious about what hair was up their ass but I'd sure try not to tell them how to react.

I remember the "tar baby" conversation. Romney used the term as it is often used - an "imbroglio," a mess that gets worse when you try to fix it. This is the literal translation of the use of the tar baby featured in _Brer Rabbit_ (written by Joel Chandler Harris)

Almost every single member was certain that Romney's use of the term was a slap in the face of blacks - and he either DID know it - or SHOULD have known it. I knew that there were some people who didn't associate a tar baby with a black person. I was one of them.

During the conversation, I did a search of the site to see if anyone else had used the term to see what response they received.

Dlowan had used it with the same intended meaning Romney had. No one uttered a complaint to her. When I returned her comment which included the term tar baby - used in the same manner, everyone found reasons why her use wasn't offensive. I called bullshit.

It became clear that tar baby was just being used as a political weapon against Romney.

Pretending offense for political expediency is just as disgusting as intending offense.

____________________

This is why most people have a barometer about others' offense. If someone claims offense at a word - like tar baby - and you find that the word was just peachy when someone else used it - you'll have a very hard time getting any sympathy from me.

Also, due to this propensity of some people, I look at what happened - what was said - consider it - and ultimately decide for myself whether or not I should apologize - or tell them to stick it.

Agreed. It reminds me of the brouhaha a few years back where a government employee almost lost his job for use of the word "nigardly" in conversation. Some people with terribly limited vocabularies understood it to be some kind of racial slur.

Yeah, it's all coming back to me now...

Also in the same conversation, there was mention of how the "n-word" carries too much significance to blacks, or they shouldn't allow a word to affect them, or some such.

I think there are two cases to distinguish: The case when you have reasons to be offended, and the case when you don't.

If you take offense for no reason, that's fine, as long as you don't expect me to care about offending you. Fair is fair: if you are free to take offense arbitrarily, I am free to offend arbitrarily.

If, on the other hand, you have reasons for being offended, I do have a moral obligation not to offend you. But in this case, I also must have the option to disagree with your reasons, to present arguments that they're invalid, and to conclude that you shouldn't be offended because you have no reason to.

I'm fine either way. The only thing I wouldn't accept is if you got offended for no reason and then made moralistic demands on me that I stop doing or saying whatever offended you.

I have to be honest with you, Snood. In the past 15 years or so whenever I've heard the 'N' word used, it has always -- always -- come from the mouth of an adolscent black male. White people hardly ever use that word any more. It's too un-PC. But it's the most common synonym for 'friend' in ghetto Ebonics.

I remember that! A complete error on the part of the offended - but he still lost his job.

I think a part of that conversation that we never reached is that my fondest hope is that that word loses power to hurt people - but I've never used that word to describe a person - nor would I. Further, when I have heard it - I made my sentiments known. Try taking THAT **** on as a white woman in the south.

But, the competing argument that it's ok for blacks and not ok for whites falls at my feet.

Yeah, I remember your take on it. You also have a lot to say about how "nigger" is used, and by whom, too.

Anyway, congrats on being so resolute in your stand against racial slurs. In the South. As a white woman.

You know, I wondered when I saw this whether this would eventually turn out to be another Snood-Against-The-Whiteys thing again, and guess what - it is.

You're so predictable and boring. Get another story - this one's done.

I remember someone I liked telling me she was offended at my use of the term "spelling nazi."

What would you have done in that case?

I don't think it's a big deal, but a lot of people are grossly offended by the use of nazi, and i can't say that i blame them. You could use, perhaps, spelling bully. Or you could just tell her to piss off and stock being so mishish. (I'm sure she'd love that!)

No one's ever called me a nazi. But it sounds like the Seinfeld "soup nazi", the way it was used. Maybe if I were German, or Jewish, it would have some sting...
Or, are you just making that up?