Mental Decline & Dependency/Coping With Aging Loved Ones

Have to go to the urologist's today (again, resulting from preventional examination).

X-raying. Keep your fingers crossed.
(Staying empty-stomached, though one coffee was allowed, I think/hope )

Took some time 'cause of the multiple x-rays.
Nothing found, so the doctor suggested a cystoscopy next week.


He then agreed to my compromise idea: another (urin-) examination in six weeks. :wink:

Walter--

Medical tests are tedious and when they are inconclusive--although the symptoms remain--exasperating as well.

Hold your dominion.

Thanks, Noddy.

Shortly off to welcome aunt in her new home ...

walter wrote :



OH THE PLEASURES OF GETTING OLDER :wink:

we both went to see our physician this morning . mrs h unfortunately is suffering more-and-more from back pain and can't do much walking (though we do keep up our swimming) - we miss the hour-long walks along lake ontario .
our physician suggested that mrs h should see an orthopediic surgeon - for evaluation ONLY , as he assured her - he'll be making the arrangement . having a university teaching hospital in our city means that we some some very good specialists .
my bloodpressure had been a little high lately but has settled down to 130/80 , which he finds quite accetable .
"remind me again how are old you are " , he said ; i did ; he shook his head and said : "i wish i'd be as healthy as you when i'm your age ! " .

BUT NO SYMPATHY WAS OFFERED !
hbg

Aunt arrived there this morning (by taxi, accompanied by a conscientous objector [alternative to national service]), was welcomed by staff, got her stuff arranged in a double-room (on a "nearly" closed ward, in the main building, a bit away from mother's ward), got her welcome present ... and lunch.

When Mrs Walter and I met her in the afternoon, she was having coffee and cake in their (seperate) dining room.
She seemed quite okay - though talked different.
But she wanted to see her sister, mother.

So I went to search her .... she had had coffe and cake in her room, but went down in the cafeteria to have coffee again and waffers, which were on the afternoon today. Mother was talking with some others, on a different table than "hers" .... (she complained a bit about those visitors who sat on 'her' table).

We had to use two different lifts ("change lifts", since mother can't walk the four steps betwen her floor and the level of the main floor) to reach aunt's ward.
Mother didn't recognise aunt until we told her.
Aunt was only crying, mother kind of speechless but soon started to "give orders": 'you have to eat more, you are to thin', 'you have to go to the dentist soonest' ...

Enough for the first re-union, I thought, and brought mother back.
On the way to and in her room, she didn't ask but only was interested when I will drive her to the barber's.


Aunt was more than exhausted. With the help of a nurse we laid her in bed.


Will be quite intersting (for me/us) how this might develop.

Walter--

I'm willing to bet that while your mother will have to exert herself to visit her sister, she'd rather do this than visit her old home. I'm betting that having her sister handy will be even more satisfactory than having her own furniture. You can't boss furniture around.

That's too true .... and I had informed the nurses on both wards already about that

Mother had not only remembered today that her sister is in the same house - she also remembered how to use the various lifts to get there.


And she remembered that any 15 minutes. Because she remembered a lot more advice and orders for my aunt.

Which made my aunt crying loud. Very, very loud.

So the nurses had -from late morning onwards- an eye on the lift, and when mother came/comes out .... she and her walking-aid is turned back in the lift again, "This is not your ward, Mrs. Hinteler" ...


(I went to none of both today. Have to wait there tomorrow from 8 onwards: nurse/doctor from the medical service of the compulsory long term care insurance looks at aunt, if and how much money she'll get from that insurance.)

Walter--

No wonder your aunt stayed in bed, out of the way.

A little adversity will keep your mother young and interested in life.

My sympathies on the paperwork.

The examination this morning went fairly well: the woman, acting here as an expert, had been formerly a nurse in a psychiatric hospital and was really looking at what my aunt needs (=what the long term care insurance has to pay) and she knew not only how to "handle" my aunt but that things will become worse.

Saw mother only shortly then - but 'caught' her twice this afternoon when she wanted to visit her sister. (Her "I have only been there once" vs. "She's coming here at least four time per shift" from the nurses.)

-----

On the other note: things seem to develop re my sister: she doesn't really want to come here and tell the court that I can act like I want to, with her content. But she's "on the way" to do so ... perhaps, first first verbally, might be later even then in writing.

Better than nothing.
So I'll get a date with the court clerk again, explain all these, show some papers, make before some photos from inside the house (to prove that's quite some amount of antique stuff) and the house (to show that's not a torn-down apartment but quite a big villa which needs a llot of repair before can move in) .... ....

Walter--

Family can complicate life.

Aren't you spending as much time on your womenfolk's affairs now as you were when they were living All Alone?

More. But this is kind of "professional challence" ...

Walter, Will you and Mrs. Walter move into mother's house?

No. Full stop.

Walter--

Ah, a Professional Challenge means that all your work and energy have a chance of getting someplace.

How appealing.

That was emphatic!

Well, and this is really meant seriously: I like those situations, when I can use my rotten from the good old days when I studied law, combine that with my experiences as social worker and lecturer .... and even can use my history skills (the ladder meant less seriously).

I'm telling this since ages ... nearly 50 years, to be precise

Yesterday Mr. Noddy wasn't paying attention, slipped on the ice and broke his tailbone. He's got a complicated spine with years of ossification and he insists that he can put no weight on his left leg.

He went to the hospital by ambulance last night. This morning he'll be turned over to the Physical Therapy people who will show him how to walk on crutches.

I'm a little short of sympathy here. Not to One-Up, but I can walk on crutches with two broken legs. Life comes with a certain amount of pure agony. Three cheers for the Physical Therapists--you can't con a good Physical Therapist.

He doesn't want me to hurry up and visit---which means that he's propped up on his pillows telling all sorts of fibs and half truths. If I don't visit, I won't be offended.

I've urged him to talk to his Internist about using the hospital time to get organized on a diet. He's been diabetic for more than 40 years which complicates dieting. He also weighs 230 pounds which complicates diabetes. These days I weigh 105 and I simply cannot handle his practical nursing chores.

He's in safe place and I intend to enjoy the respite.